The Coward
by Aikido Kiryuu
Summary: A new girl, Aikido, joins Cross Academy's Day Class after an unfortunate incident. She hides herself as Aiko, in fear of hiding her true identity...what is Aikido hiding? ZeroxOC
1. A Long Intro

1. Intro

I was running. Running- and not knowing where exactly it was where I was going. But I was running. Of that I was certain. I was panting. Running had never been my specialty. I was no athlete. I didn't like the way I sweated when I ran. The thought disgusted me. My hands were bleeding, that I was certain of too. I could feel the warm wet liquid running down to my fingers and dripping off. Or was it rain? Maybe it was both. Yet still, I was stumbling around, running blindly, scratching my hands against the trees and not caring what happened to my clothes. I had lost a shoe- just then. No time. No time to go back and grab it, I finally decided. It didn't matter that it was my favorite pair- they were replaceable. I was not. That's what my parents told me, anyways. What else could I do but believe them? My sock was slipping down my leg, and it had ripped at the bottom. I could feel the pine needles pressing against my bare skin. My other shoe was falling off, but I would have to manage. Running. I had to keep running. I couldn't look back- I shouldn't look back- but I did. I looked back to see him running after me, eyes red and thirsty. Thirsty for nothing other than my blood. My life source. I let out a small scream, as I fell to the ground, cutting up my knees and dirtying my clothes. Even now, I was vain enough to worry about my clothing. My favorite light pink sweatshirt was caked with mud and dripping with rain. This unsettled me. My short brown hair was covering my eyes, no longer dry and shiny. My jeans, too. Yes, the ones with the rhinestone hearts at the bottom. They too, were caked in mud. Why was I wet? Soaked. It was a stupid question. I was soaking wet, it was raining. Pouring, actually. I don't know how I'd overlooked it. Distracted. Yes, I was very distracted, that must have been it.

Then he jumped on top of me, snarling and angry, and bent his mouth down to drain me of my life-force- my blood that pulsed through my veins. A monster. They existed, somehow. They were not a dream- but reality. Vampires. The things that tormented every child's nightmares. I struggled. Struggled to escape, to get away, to save myself. I was weak, young, with nothing to defend myself. Not so much as a pocket knife. I shut my big blue eyes, trying to wish the monster away. Wishing I would wake up, that it wasn't real. Wishing that I had never wandered so far out into the woods in search of the pretty spring flowers. I just wanted it to go away, anywhere away from ME. I was scared, and I whimpered, not finding words to scream or call out to my elder sister Anri. No, I told myself. Anri was dead. The same way I was going to die now. I was going to die! No…I didn't want to. I tried to scream, but it came out as barely a whisper. My heart was pounding in my chest and I could only moan softly as the fangs pierced into the soft flesh with a stomach churning noise…

I woke up, with hot beads of sweat rolling down my face. A dream. Of course. How could I have been so stupid? I wiped my eyes with the sleeve of my shirt, and took a deep breath. Still, today, that one day would haunt me forever. I flicked on the dim lamp that was next to my bedside, and sat up against the back of my bed, eyes closed.

_I have to stop…I'm going nuts just thinking about that…it is done. Gone. Over with. Yes, I was attacked by that monster when I was only seven. Now its gone. He's dead. I'm safe. Nothing is going to hurt me. I won't let it, because I am a hunter now. Maybe young and naïve, but I am still a hunter, and I will be able to avenge Anri someday. I am safe. I can defend myself. I am safe. _

Or that is what I tell myself. No, the truth is, in a world of vampires, I am indeed not safe. Nobody is, and I'm no exception. They will not avoid me because I am a hunter, and I don't believe that they could even tell. But I still remembered that day clearly though. Too clearly. Too clearly for my own sanity… But there it was, stamped on my brain in flashing Las Vegas style lights. Having to remember. Having to live in constant fear. Of them. Of the monsters that lurk out there. Like a child.

_No, I am not a child._

I knew that my sanity was slipping through my fingers like a million tiny grains of sand. You could always hold on to some of it, but just in the palm of your hand. The rest would slip out, bit by bit. Maybe I am not fit to be a hunter. I fear I cannot take these secrets in the world. Maybe I can't.

_But I am a hunter._

This is what I tell myself. But am I really, on the inside? Who's to say if my comrades were in trouble that I would not run in fear of my own life? I would run. I am a coward. I am not fit to be a hunter. I have warned my mother about this, but she laughed it off, clearly thinking that it was a joke. It is not though. I am a coward. I dislike this family business.

Some things are better left secrets. Like vampires. I would have been much happier not knowing about their existence. However, I had known. I was forced to know. It was forced upon me. Because of this ridiculous family hunting thing. There are people out there who would do anything to get bitten. But then again, these people are not even positive of their existence. Perhaps they think that all vampires are tame, if they exist? Maybe by a sane one- one that wasn't Level E. One that wouldn't kill you. Getting attacked by a level E is a different story, my fan girl. It's painful, excruciatingly so. There is no passion in it, just greed. Greed and hunger, and no attempt to be gentle. It hurts like nothing you've ever experienced. There I go again, exaggerating. Okay, so maybe it wasn't that horrible. But when you're seven, scared of the creepy-crawlies that you imagine under your bed, and prone to over-reacting…then I guess its as bad as I said it was. Maybe the fear consumed my mind more than anything. I blame my parents…I shouldn't. But I do.

I gave a quick look over to my clock, seeing that it was only eight at night. I'd fallen asleep watching television. The TV was still playing quietly, advertising shaving cream. I bent down to the floor to where the remote had fallen, and turned off the TV. I pushed myself out of bed, still in my clothes. I heard the sink running as my mother washed dishes.

Suddenly I heard my mother shriek, and glass break. I opened my bedroom door to hear, "Aiko, HIDE!" from my father.

But was I really expected to listen? I was a hunter. I would not run. I couldn't. I believe that he was just testing me. I bolted out of my bedroom and ran downstairs, to see my poor fair-haired mother sprawled out on the kitchen floor, her dark ruby blood pooling underneath her, staining her light hair and running down the cracks in the tile. No! This couldn't be happening. My mother was a seasoned hunter. There was no way that something took her down so quickly. My father let out a small yell from inside of the living room, and I knew then I had no choice but to run. I couldn't…if my father couldn't handle something, I knew that I couldn't. I told you. I am a coward. I don't know what happened to them after that, because I ran outside and into the dark woods. I only hoped that they lived through it.

I was running through the woods, which brought back so many dark memories. I could hear the creatures of the night chirping and calling at me, mocking me. They were probably just calling to one another. But in my ears I heard, "coward, coward, Aikido is a coward." I could hear footsteps behind me, of maybe two people. They were talking as they were running, quietly. I couldn't understand what it was they were saying, it simply sounded like the wind that was rushing past me. I just ran faster, jumping over tree roots and hoping to find a populated place soon. I had no such luck. I could not run. Not for a long time, and not very fast. Not after how horribly I was weakened from my previous vampire attack. I had nearly died then.

After maybe forty-five minutes of dodging through the trees, no longer able to run but able to fast walk. I realized that I was no longer being followed. There was a light dusting of snow- not entirely unusual for early February. I wasn't entirely sure where I should start next. Should I go back home, or stay out here, vulnerable to the harsh effects of mother nature? I wasn't sure what would be best. I headed home, as the snow began to get heavier. A stupid move, I must admit. I was almost positive that they would be there waiting for me. A good hunter never would have been so crazy. Then again, a good hunter would have stood by her parents, and died fighting. I was a coward though. I expected to return and be killed. I deserved it. I was a coward. I was only in a long-sleeved shirt and jeans, not winter clothes. I was cautious to be quiet and quick. Luckily the snow wasn't deep enough to crunch when I stepped in it.

I circled my house carefully, before deciding that nobody was there anymore. If I was a bad hunter, they were bad vampires. Which was good, for me, at least. When I entered my house, I had that lingering feeling in my stomach, like I had forgotten something. And indeed I had. My mother was still in the kitchen, probably dead by now. I kneeled beside her, and she blinked once, and stared at the ceiling. She was in pain, and a lot of it. I pushed her hair from her eyes and wiped the blood off of her face with a napkin that was on the kitchen counter. I knew that she was going to die, and even if I called the hospital right now she'd never make it. I let her blood stain my clothes, I didn't care. I carefully hugged her, and felt the tears in my eyes. She was my mother. And I'd left her for dead, instead of fighting beside her like I should have.

I would have to live with this on my shoulders for the rest of my life.

Some part of me hoped that that would be long.

"Mom, don't leave me," I choked out. She smiled weakly in return, her eyes devoid of the sparkle and liveliness they had once held, before shutting her eyes forever. I took her fragile hand in my similar one, and begged her to awaken. To see her bright crystal-blue eyes again, sparkling with life. That would satisfy me. I was not ready to see her leave me though. She died because I had not helped her. This was my fault. Hot tears had filled my eyes, and I wanted so badly to scream. She was the only one I'd ever felt love from, even more so then my father. My father was a rough man, who had beaten me in a drunken stupor several times before. My mother had always tried to protect me, getting hurt herself in the process. I loved her so much, and here she was, dead in my kitchen. I shouldn't have let her die after all that she had done for me. But I did, because I was a coward.

I guess now was a good time to call the police as any.

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It had been a week since my parents' death. My father had almost made it- but had passed on the second day at being at the hospital. I can't say I cared as much as I should have. Their murder had been posted in the paper, along with the fact of mysterious bite marks- vampire marks, but the paper didn't know that and neither did the investigators- on their necks. Their funeral had been yesterday, and the whole town had been there. No family though. My only family was a cousin who was drunk every day and out of a job. I hadn't cried. I did not cry in front of people. Not so easily.

Only then did it occur to me I was an orphan. A lonely orphan.

I was an only child- or now I was. I had been five when Anri died. I'd never remembered her, and had only seen her in pictures. She looked like our mother. I didn't even have any friends. I didn't trust anyone after my vampire-run in at seven. Everyone knew I was a scary person to be around. Nobody was there to hug me or give me comfort words. I was left to look over my parents mutilated bodies, and wonder how this had happened to me. The strangers and many hunters from the association merely gave me pity glances. No one exchanged words with me. Not even the Association would recognize me after this. I suppose that it was rather sad that if I had died along with my parents- I would have been recognized. But they knew that I ran. They knew that I ran and I would not be recognized for it. I would- but as a coward. I still didn't know what I was being punished for.

_For being a coward. That's what I was being punished for._

I was sitting alone at my house, with the investigators milling about downstairs and the social worker getting prepared to leave soon with my paperwork. I wondered where I would go. I would be stuck in foster care forever, waiting for someone to see past my hard exterior. Okay, well just a few years until I hit adulthood, but that would be forever for me. I was a pretty girl- don't get me wrong. Except nobody could get past the cold shoulder thing that I always did. I would never get adopted. Actually, that was probably a good thing. I didn't want my parents to be replaced. I would never be happy, and I would be stuck at some poor job when I was an adult. Because I was- oh never mind, I'm pretty sure you get it by now.

The social worker called later on and told me that I was being adopted to a Chairman at some rich preppy boarding school thing. I was shocked, and also disappointed. I had never really wanted to go to private school, but maybe they'd be too snobbish to notice me anyways. Good. She also told me that he would be here later on to meet me and help me pack my things. Oh. Wonderful. Well, at least someone WANTED me. That was a good thing, I decided, and would be better than living in an orphanage or a temporary foster home. Although he would not be my father. I had some sort of fleeting hope that maybe he would be better. A sick thought, yes. But when your father would get drunk…

I half-heartedly packed some of my things. My posters and my special stuffed animal…(I no longer slept with him, but still, he was important nonetheless.) my clothes and toothbrush and all of that crap. The stuffed cat was named One, and had been given to me by a dear childhood friend. A childhood friend who thought I was dead. I missed him, but I figured it was better this way anyways. I decided I didn't even really need most of it, so I just brought the necessities. Like the pills. Around five o' clock the doorbell rang, and I walked down the stairs like my feet were made of lead. I opened the door with no smile to be found on my face. He/she was smiling back at me though, and hugged me. Had the Social Worker not informed me that he was a man, I wouldn't have had a clue.

I wondered why the social worker had just given me away so quickly. I didn't think that that was normal…but I also didn't want to question it. Maybe this was just sheer luck. Luck I didn't deserve, but whatever.

"Hi! I'm your new Daddy!!!!" Okay. Hated him already. I blinked, and pulled away. So much for luck.

"Chairman," I said politely.

"Please call me Daddy!" Noooo thanks.

"Er…" was all I could stutter without being rude.

"Ah, yes, yes I'm sorry! I understand this must be a hard time for you."

My expression darkened, "Can we please just go?" I mumbled.

He raised his eyebrows, "Well, of course. Let me help you with your bags…."

"I only have one bag thank you." I picked it up, just ready to leave this place. Too many memories.

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	2. Close Encounters

I DO NOT OWN VAMPIRE KNIGHT OR ITS CHARACTERS. I own ONLY my own characters. Also, this story might stray a bit from the actual Vampire Knight plot, and is obviously going to leave out some things, and add some things.

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"Aiko!! This is Cross Yuuki and Kiryu Zero!" Chairman said gesturing to Yuuki, a short, brown-haired brown-eyed girl. She was the happy-looking type. Zero, the taller boy, had silver hair and light purple eyes, a combination that almost spooked me. I stared blankly, not acknowledging them. I didn't like talking to people, and I didn't like getting close to people. I didn't trust people. I didn't trust anyone after the incident. I shifted uncomfortably. Zero. Sweet Zero…I wondered if he'd remember me. I hoped not. That was part of my purpose of hiding as Sakura Aiko, my fake name. Zero looked at me, almost as if he recognized me. That would be a bad thing…or would it? I wasn't sure what to expect if he did remember me. Would he be upset with me for not contacting him? Or would he be happy to see me? Or…just not care and still try to forget I existed.

I wondered where Ichiru was.

"Hi! You're…Aiko, right?" Yuuki asked pleasantly. I just nodded, quite unenthusiastically. This seemed to discourage her a bit. I doubted she'd given up though. She was determined to break the hard shell I'd formed around myself.

I started to walk out.

"Wait!" Chairman whined, "Since you know about vampires, I suppose I should inform you that the Night Class are vampires." Oh. Great, "And in order to keep the peace, we need Guardians like Zero and Yuuki to guard at night and make sure that nobody's snacking, or spying. The Day Class has absolutely no idea that the Night Class are vampires, and we have to make sure that it stays that way. Since you know about their existence, that means that you're under obligation to be a Guardian as well." He smiled. I grimaced.

"No thanks." I said quietly. I was not getting near vampires.

"Its not an option, Aiko."

I shook my head no. "I don't want too."

He handed me something that I assumed was supposed to be put on my arm. I tried handing it back but he refused to take it, "You start tomorrow night." Then he handed me a gun. "Its specifically made for vampires."

"I know." I said crossly, and walked out of the room, Bloody Rose in hand. I wasn't an idiot, I'd handled one before. And I obviously wasn't going to win that fight. Besides, I looked forward to having the power to kill a vampire with a single shot if they got rowdy. I tucked it away in my room, which I shared with no one, thankfully, and looked at the uniform I'd been given earlier. I really, really, really wasn't a skirt person. I dreaded wearing it. I hung it up in my closet for the next day, for school. I assumed I'd be wearing it for "Guardian" duty as well (what help was it to fight in a skirt?? I'd never know).

I sat on my bed and looked out the window through some trees. The sun was just beginning to go down, and a bunch of girls were all flocking to somewhere, and fast. Out of curiosity, I decided to follow. I couldn't help wondering where they could all be going. I opened up my window, and since it was on the first floor, I jumped. I felt a prickle on my back as I did so, and I took in a sharp breath. It wasn't necessary. I'd landed just fine. I followed casually, trying to float behind the group. Eventually they came to more girls who were waiting at the gate of what I was assuming were the Night Class dorms. Yuuki was desperately trying to hold the girls back. A few of the girls were arguing with her. I watched from behind a tree, deciding it would be better not to help her. After all, I wouldn't even be sure what to do, since I wasn't sure what was going on. Then my conscious got the best of me, and I went to help her out. I didn't get very far though.

"No cutting through!" A girl hissed at me. Woah. Wasn't expecting that. I backed off.

Instead I just stood along the edge of the path. Suddenly the gates opened, and the girls stood in an orderly fashion to let the Night Class pass. I realized I should have been in my uniform at this time, and my jeans and sweatshirt were probably not the greatest thing to be wearing.

The Night Class was truly beautiful. They were in white uniforms to the Day Class' navy blue (black?). Yet I knew that inside, they were not so beautiful. They were vampires. Blood-thirsty vampires. Nothing, not even those stupid blood tablets would ever change that. I stood there awkwardly, fiddling with my ponytail before I began to walk back from where I'd come from, when someone grabbed my arm. I found myself looking into bright, ice blue eyes of one of the Night Class students. If I could have blown his brains out right then, I would have with no hesitation.

"You're new!" He said brightly, smiling.

I tried to pull away, but he prevented me from doing so. "Yeah," I muttered, giving up. I was truly a pathetic hunter. I considered pulling the gun on him, but I supposed that would be a bad idea, considering the Day Class had no clue he was a vampire. Besides…my gun was still in my room. Girls were glaring daggers at me all around. As if I WANTED attention from this bloodsucker. They could have him, if they wanted him so badly.

"You're kind of cute! What's your name?" He smiled at me even more, and I was getting very uncomfortable with this. I wanted to gag, or puke, or kill him. Anything.

"Aiko. Sakura Aiko." I said uneasily, before continuing my struggle.

"Ah. Why are you trying to pull away Aiko-chan? You're not scared of me are you?" He pouted.

"I'm not scared of you Idol-sempai!!" A girl screamed.

"No. Let go of me. These girls already hate me enough, thank you." I continued my struggle when all of the sudden he pulled me into his chest from behind and put his arms around my waist. I felt him nuzzle into my neck.

"Ah! Let go of me!" I cried, trying to push him away from me. It wasn't working. I decided that after I escaped this school as an adult, he would be first to go on my hit list.

"Hanabusa! Come on. Stop tormenting the poor girl. She obviously doesn't want your attention!" One of the Night Class students called to him. He let go instantly. You can bet your life savings I didn't want his attention!

"By the way, I'm Aidou. But feel free to call me Idol. The other girls do." He winked and walked away, leaving me to the mercy of the evil fan-girls from Hell. I could tell that I wasn't making any friends here. Ever.

Yuuki was watching after one of the Night Class students as he walked away. She was in love with him, I could tell from her distant, dazed expression. But Zero had pulled her away from him, quite clearly. Interesting, I thought. When all of the girls had cleared, I was left, standing there and thinking. It didn't really occur to me where I was, and I was completely spaced out.

"Aiko!" Yuuki called out to me waving a hand wildly, "Do you want to come out on Prefect duty with us tonight so you can learn the school grounds for tomorrow?" She asked excitedly.

I shook my head no. Avoiding her would be the best option. She pouted, and I saw a flash of discouragement in her eyes. But she almost instantly recovered. "Are you sure?" She asked, prying.

Even I couldn't deny the fact that it would be a good idea. How else would I learn the grounds? Knowing my horrible location skills, I would get lost within my first ten minutes tomorrow night. I sighed, defeated. So much for pride. I knew Yuuki wouldn't have let me walk away with a "no" anyways. This was an opportunity to learn my surroundings, and I shouldn't turn it down. Even though I wanted to turn it down, so badly. I walked over to her and Zero, slowly. I didn't take my eyes off of Yuuki, not even to stray to Zero, like I wanted to. My inner self was calling to me to tell him the truth, that I wasn't dead. But I didn't want to tell him in fear that he wouldn't care. At all. Or be angry with me.

"Fine, I'll go." I said with no emotion. I stared into Yuuki's eyes, begging for her to get the hint. I didn't want to make friends. That was not something of my concern. Her eyes flashed from Zero, down to the ground. She was slightly intimidated. Good. That might taker her down a notch. Maybe. Probably not. She was having second thoughts about inviting me.

I could have laughed.

It's almost too bad that I didn't.

The next day in my last class I had to sit next to Zero, since there were no other available seats. Not that anybody would have wanted me to sit next to them. Everyone made that pretty obvious by their uncomfortable stares. I figured Zero wouldn't care, so I would have sat next to him anyways, lest there had been a place where I could have avoided everyone. I didn't talk to him, he didn't care. It almost seemed like he'd wanted to say something though. I guess I wouldn't know though, because before I knew it, he was fast asleep at his spot, and so was Yuuki across the room. I mentally patted myself on the back. I didn't tire so easily, although I'd been up quite late with Yuuki and Zero. The teacher noticed, too.

"Cross! Cross!" He called.

Yuuki's friend whispered something into Yuuki's ear.

Both Yuuki and Zero got supplementary classes.

Zero didn't go though, and I decided to follow him. It didn't really surprise me all that much that he didn't go. I suppose it wasn't my most brilliant idea, but I still followed him nonetheless. He went into the stables (which I wasn't aware the school had) for some reason and dozed off in the hay. I myself fell asleep leaning against the outside of the stable, until I woke up startled from Yuuki yelling at him. Blah, blah, blah he skipped supplementary classes, blah, blah, blah. Hmm. Maybe I was a bit tired after all. Or maybe it was the soft atmosphere I was feeling here. I waited in my hiding spot for them to leave.

"What are you doing here, Aiko?" Zero asked appearing around the corner. He looked surprised and kind of angry, like he knew that I'd been following him. Oh well, I did nothing wrong.

Besides, its not like I was stalking him.

I glared at him, ran my fingers through my hair, and stalked off. I guess it wasn't the smartest or kindest thing to do, but whatever. I didn't want to grace him with an answer. Suddenly I felt a prickle along my spine.

_Not now!_

I felt Yuuki and Zero still looking at me. I turned to them and glared. Neither got the hint. I shook my head, knowing that I didn't have much time left to get the pills into my system. I hurried off, out of sight. Once I was out of sight, I pulled out my little pill container. I could feel my skin starting to…unzipper in two long slits on my back. That's the best way to put it. I could hear Yuuki and Zero coming. If they saw me with the pills, they might get a whole slough of wrong ideas. I knew that I had to prevent that, at all costs. I shoved three of the pills in my mouth, and swallowed them like little bullets going down my throat. I hid the pill case in my shoe. My skin began to settle. I let out a sigh, thankful I'd made it in time.

Zero and Yuuki walked right by my hiding place, and Yuuki was the first to notice me. I was still sitting against a tree, calming myself down and staring up at the sky. That had been close. So very close. I supposed to Yuuki and Zero that I appeared sick at the moment, near nausea and looking ready to puke my guts out, because Yuuki said, "Aiko are you alright?!"

She kneeled down in concern, trying to help me stand. I stood up, a bit wobbly at first. I was extra careful to control my emotions. "Thanks," I muttered.

"Are you okay? Do we need to get you to the nurse?" She asked, worried.

"I'm absolutely fine. What are you talking about?" I decided it would be better if I pretended like I wasn't ill. I looked at her strangely, to add to the effect.

She sighed, looking bitterly confused. "Ah, never mind. I'm sorry, Aiko-chan…" She rubbed the back of her head sheepishly. I could tell that it was an act, much like my own. I was confused myself. She didn't exactly have anything to be sorry for…

Then again, Yuuki probably thought I was psychotic, and any little thing would set me off.

"I'm not crazy." I said bluntly.

"I never said that you were-"

"You were thinking it. At least you didn't have to see your parents dying before your eyes!" I cried, upset. So much for keeping my cool. Hopefully the pills had kicked in enough by now to control…it. I ran off.

"She's so strange…" I heard Yuuki's voice. I wanted to kill her just then. Really, I did. But I ignored her and continued to run. She was none of my concern.

That night I sat on the edge of the fountain, waiting. Nothing interesting was happening, and I didn't expect something interesting to happen either. Not much ever happened to me that was worth talking about. That wasn't incredibly gruesome or horrible. I ran my hand through the water, out of boredom. For some reason this simple action reminded me of my mother…It just…did.

-----------Flashback------------

"_Mom, why is Daddy so angry?" I asked, with fear running through my blood. I was in the kitchen, sitting up on the counter, while my mother got some ice into a towel to place on my bruised cheek. I was crying now, he'd hit me. My father. He hit me._

"_Oh hun, it's not you…Daddy is just…upset right now. You understand how stressful his job can be when they get away?"_

_I nodded, bleakly. Ow. My cheek was killing me._

_------------------End of flashback--------------------_

_I was only ten at the time. A scared little girl without a real place in the world. I'm not sure why the fountain reminded me of this. Maybe it was the way the sink had been full of soapy water. My mother had been doing the dishes. That had been the first time my Father had ever laid a finger on me. I ran my hand through the water again, with so much to clear from my head. So much to get off of my shoulders. My head began to hurt, and I reached for the pill case in my shoe, just in case it began again. It was becoming more and more frequent, now. I slid my shoe off with my index finger, only to find that somehow, the small case had slipped out. No. That was impossible. I checked my other shoe. Nope, not there either. "Well, shoot." I said to myself. _

_The bright side was I still had another in my bag. But that was back at my dorm room, and I couldn't go back and get it. What if I missed something while I was retrieving it? Lives could be lost. Although I really doubted anything was going to happen…after all, it was so quiet…._

_Suddenly I heard whispers, and quietly got up and ran over to where the voices came from. The pill issue was forgotten entirely, because this was a much more important matter to attend to. At the moment. I supposed I'd regret it later. Two Day Class girls were below me, with a camera at the ready. I sighed. They would not be happy to see me. I would have to take their camera, too. A darn shame. For them at least. This could be kind of fun for me. They would definitely have to get back to their dorms. I jumped down, scratching my arm against a tree as I did so._

"_It's not safe to be out here at night," I commented, rather upset with them "Go back to your dorms, now."_

"_We just wanted to get a few pictures of the Night Class…surely just a few is okay, right?" One of the girls asked._

"_No. Get back to your dorms now!" I growled. "And hand me the camera."_

_Suddenly I heard someone in the trees and I whirled around. Aidou._

"_You ladies smell nice," he commented. _

"_Stay away from them!" I shouted and stood in front of them. I reached for my gun. It wasn't there. But it had been there just a few moments ago…_

"_Actually, Aiko, I was referring to you," he said stepping forward. I shuddered as he lifted my scraped arm to his mouth. His eyes were glowing ruby red._

"_Stay away!" I looked desperately at his red-headed companion. He was turned away though, not wanting to be a part of this. Aidou then licked my hand carefully, before biting down. It wasn't hard, just enough to draw some of the blood. It didn't hurt. But I was still very pissed off with him now. He was definitely on my hit list now._

_The girls were shocked and trembling behind me. "A…fang? Vampire?" Was all I heard from them. I heard one of them hit the ground, probably fainted. Served her right though, if you asked me. I guess you didn't ask me though._

_Suddenly Aidou pulled back. "It's not enough…" he whispered, and I knew then that he was going in for the bite. Then I was pulled away in a strong arm and held there, and there was a Bloody Rose pointed to Aidou's head. Zero. I don't know why I was relieved, but I was. Still. I did not like being the damsel in distress. It was not my thing at all. I felt some sort of anger towards Zero. Call it damaging to my pride. I did not like my pride being diminished in the least._

"_Biting on school grounds is forbidden. You should know that, Aidou." Zero growled, preparing to shoot. Maybe blow his brains out would be a better term? Zero was quite merciless when it came to vampires. I wonder how he would feel about my secret…although I was hardly a vampire. But I was hardly human either._

"_Zero, don't!" Yuuki warned, fearfully. Smart girl, I had to admit. She knew that trouble would be caused. So now she was here too._

"_Don't." I warned firmly, forgetting that he was still holding me around the shoulder. If anyone was going to kill Aidou, it was going to be me._

_I closed my eyes when Zero pulled the trigger. I waited for the impact. It never came. The bullet had hit a tree, and the smoke was clearing. Yuuki's crush- Kaname, I'd learned, was there, prepared to take the rowdy vampires back. Everything would be okay now…and the girls would never remember what had happened…_

_I wiggled out of Zero's grasp. "You could've let go any time." I said, with no emotion in my voice whatsoever. Sometimes bottling up emotions is bad, but I also wasn't going to make a fool of myself making a big deal about it._

_He looked…well sort of embarrassed, but that lasted for a millisecond. "Hn." Was the only response I got from him. _

_I figured I deserved nothing more of a response._

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_Review please… ^.^ Comments and criticism are both appreciated._


	3. Suspicions

I DO NOT OWN VAMPIRE KNIGHT OR ITS CHARACTERS. I own ONLY my own characters. Also, this story might stray a bit from the actual Vampire Knight plot, and is obviously going to leave out some things, and add some things.

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The next day in my final class I sat in front of Zero, trying to avoid the fact that he kept on looking at Yuuki. He was in love with her. _It was all about Yuuki_. For some reason I felt jealous about that, but I wasn't sure why entirely. Wait- that was a lie… And there Yuuki was, hopelessly in love with the vampire. The bloodsucker. Stupid girl. I would have gone with Zero any day. I looked back to the teacher, forgetting that I'd even looked at him. He meant nothing to me anyways…that I was aware of. Another lie. A lie to myself. I didn't enjoy tangling my life up in a mess of lies.

Maybe it was just the fact that nobody ever gave a second glance to me. Call me vain, if you want. But…attention every so often isn't so horrible, is it?

And maybe I was just in this pathetic mood because the next day was Valentine's Day. All of the girls were completely obsessed about it, I could tell. I already figured that I wouldn't get anything. Which was fine…

After our last class had let out Yuuki caught up to me. "Aiko-chan!" She cried yanking on my sleeve. I took a deep breath. I would have to control myself.

"What is it?" I asked slightly annoyed. I really didn't want to talk to her right now.

Yuuki pulled me aside, away from all of the students that were in ear-shot. "You like Zero-kun don't you?" She pried excitedly.

"No." I said bluntly, wondering why she would even assume that. "Why would you ever come up with an idea like that? I barely know him."

"Oh never mind…I just…well he mentioned someone named Aikido. He told me that she used to be his best friend before…he came here. Then he said something else about how she supposedly died after…never mind… I just thought that Aiko might just be a nickname and that maybe…"

"That didn't answer my question." I said so she could breathe. She'd said that all at once and so fast, I was surprised she didn't faint.

"I just guessed, actually. Hoped, maybe…"

I started walking away from her. She was right, truly. My name was Aikido. Haruke Aikido. Everyone had always called me Aiko anyways, aside from Zero. He'd liked Aikido better. And I did know Zero. And his brother, too. But I was not letting on that I was her. "I'm just Aiko. Sakura Aiko. That's all I ever will be." My mood was significantly darkened after that, I must admit. I didn't like lying, although it was second nature to me now. When I turned the corner, I came face to face with a certain Zero, who had clearly been spying. He stopped me for a minute, grabbed hold of both of my shoulders, and stared hard into my little pools of blue I used for eyes. Suddenly I felt that prickly feeling along my back, like razors cutting through my skin from the inside out.

_Not now! Please not now!_

"Do you mind??" I questioned indignantly. I was in a hurry now. I didn't want to be exposed, not here. That meant trouble, if I let it continue it's course. I had to get away.

_Right. Now._

I couldn't wait any longer. I pushed him off, shaking my head violently, and ran as fast as my legs could take me. It wasn't very fast, let me tell you. Not with my forever-weakened state. I couldn't hold out much longer. I felt my skin begin to break open, very slowly and painfully. I wanted to howl out in pain. I entered the dorms, pushing through the flocking girls. I heard their whispers. I didn't care. I was surprised with myself. Normally I would have turned around and punched one of them. I just had to get to my room. I had to get my pills.

_Right. Now._

"She's so strange…" One of them whispered.

"Typical Prefect."

Finally, I fumbled with the key in the lock, ran in and slammed the door behind me. I assumed that the sound would echo through the hall. I locked it. I was so stupid. I should have taken my pills with me today. I knew it was a full moon, too. Careless. Careless, careless, careless.

_My bag. The pills were in my bag still. I hadn't taken them out._

I threw off my jacket and shirt as I felt the skin break. There was a small whooshing noise and I moaned softly. Painful. I would never get used to that. I dug through my bag, not finding the small red pill-case. "Where is it?" I muttered softly to myself.

` "Aiko?? Are you alright?" I heard Yuuki call softly, "You ran off kind of fast…I was worried."

"I'm fine…" Pain. "Please just go away." For Gosh sakes Yuuki, don't be stupid and listen to me for once! I found the pills. Only four left. I popped in three, and swallowed. I would have to get more from Nightshade. And SOON, too.

"Aiko, open the door! Are you sick?" Yuuki continued on, knocking on my door and trying the handle. She knew it was locked, so I wondered why she bothered.

"Yes. So go away, I'm going to throw up." I lied again, and felt the whoosh, and a small cramping sensation as the bones settled back in place. The skin sealed itself over again. I dropped the pill case in the drawer of my bedside table.

"Aiko, open the door!" Yuuki cried banging on the door. I figured that I should open the door for her, to assure her that I was okay after all. I hurried over to open the door. I unlocked it with one motion.

"What?" I asked as if nothing had ever happened. I realized that Zero was with her. And he was staring. So was Yuuki.

"Ah…Aiko-" Yuuki began.

It took me a minute to process and realize why.

_I hadn't put my shirt back on yet._

Embarrassed, I slammed the door in their face.

Zero shouldn't have been in the girls' dorm in the first place. Gosh, why did this kind of stuff always happen to me?! Punishment. For being a coward. I pushed those thoughts aside, and figured that Yuuki and Zero were still standing outside my door. I scampered over to where my shirt was, and tugged it on, not caring if it was wrinkled. It was a shirt.

I will admit that I had to take a breather. I leaned against the door, calming myself, before I gently opened my door again and peeked out. I almost hoped that they'd gone away and forgotten about the incident.

Of course, neither of those things could ever be true. They were still standing out there, still looking rather shocked. I didn't figure that either of them would be forgetting about this any time soon.

"What?" I asked sheepishly. "You're not even supposed to be in the girl's dorm anyways." I pointed at Zero, who sweat dropped.

"Aiko…ah, I'm sorry, were you busy?" Yuuki asked looking rather disturbed. I could tell that she really hadn't wanted to see that. And she had also gotten the wrong idea.

"I was changing for a little while before I had to go out tonight. I hate wearing a skirt, and pants and a T-shirt are more of my comfort zone…" I rubbed the back of my head, pulling a few strands roughly to force control over myself.

"Oh. Of course, yeah I understand…"

"I was just about to put my shirt on when I started feeling kind of…dizzy. So I…it didn't really occur to me that I had forgotten to put it on when I opened the door…I'm really sorry about that." Wow. Could I be any more of an IDIOT? Luckily I'd been wearing a bra since Elementary School…And I was also pretty bad at lying when I was in shock. But Yuuki and Zero both appeared to buy it, and had shaken it off by now.

"Well are you okay now?" Yuuki asked, clearly wanting to leave me to my peace.

"Yeah. I'm fine." I said bluntly.

"Okay…Zero, I think we should go…ah, control the crowd of girls that's forming at the Night Class gates, don't you think?" Yuuki asked, turning her attention to Zero.

"Hn. I guess you're right." He said, before starting to walk off. He looked back at me once, with an almost curious look in his eyes. But then he turned around again and I was set free from his gaze. I let out a sigh of relief as I re-entered my room.

Later on I heard banging in the kitchen. Zero was hovering outside of the kitchen. I walked by, curiously. Yuuki was trying to make chocolate. I entered the kitchen, ignoring Zero.

"Aiko-chan!" Yuuki called out when she saw me enter.

"Yuuki." I said plainly, "What do you think you're doing?" I asked.

"Making chocolate, of course!" She said enthusiastically.

"No, you're not. The only thing you're making is a mess." I took her cooking tools from her and began to help her. I don't know why, but I did. I couldn't just let her burn the place down. Zero was still out of the kitchen, I felt him looking in at us.

"Aiko, are you giving chocolates to anyone?" Yuuki asked me. I looked at her to see if she was kidding. She was serious.

I laughed, and smiled a bit "No, of course not. That's absurd. Besides. I certainly don't like any of the people here enough to do that. I might buy some for you and maybe Zero, but that would just be out of courtesy…Guardian to Guardian. But don't count on it." I continued helping her make the chocolate.

She stood there, all color drained from her face. She was staring at me. This scared me a bit.

"Oh Gosh Yuuki, what is it?" I demanded to know.

She laughed, "It's just…I haven't seen you smile before…and you just did!"

"Why is this such and accomplishment for you?" I asked, now curious. I almost gave her another smile, but I decided not to give her that much.

She shrugged.

I noticed Zero wasn't outside of the kitchen anymore.

"There…now put them in the oven and set the timer. Can I trust you enough to do that?" I asked, seriously.

"Of course!" She smiled, "Thank you so much Aiko-chan!"

"Not a problem," I said, before leaving the kitchen, "Don't overcook them!"

She didn't hear me, "Now where is that timer…?"

I walked back outside, back to the girls' dorm. We had been given the night off, to save our energy for the doomsday. Valentine's Day…

One of these days I was going to get caught…because these were becoming much more frequent…

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So…what do you think? Like it? Hate it? Feedback rocks, so leave me some if you want me to continue!!

(If you're confused about what's wrong with Aikido, you're supposed to be! But don't worry, you'll find out soon…that is if people want me to continue. So please leave me feedback!!)


	4. Revealed

I don't own Vampire Knight. But I bet you could figure that out by yourselves…

_**PLEASE READ**_: Okay, so I kind of screwed up on the Valentine's Day date because I JUST read something that said it was celebrated in March in Japan…so I really screwed up by saying it was February. I read that AFTER this was all written out nicely and edited. But I can't change it now. Ah, apologies!! But I really don't feel like changing it…I screwed up, so yeah, please don't pester me about it…because I made some other mistakes too with it…please don't let it take away from the story though…I'm far to used to the _American_ version of Valentine's Day and I got confused. Not my best work as a writer, I guess….stupid, stupid, stupid writer. Go ahead, flame me.

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"Aiko, wake up!" I awoke to something shaking my violently, "We're gonna be late!"

I opened one eye to see Yuuki, who was quite clearly exhausted from trying to wake me up. I wondered how long she'd been trying. She looked in a rush, and then I realized why. Class. Stupid me.

"What time is it?" I asked groggily, yawning and stretching my arms towards the ceiling. I assumed it couldn't be TOO late…but then again, who knows with me? I didn't normally sleep in late, so this was something new for me. Especially considering I'd gone to bed quite early the previous night.

"We have FIFTEEN minutes to get to class. Now hurry, hurry, get dressed!" Yuuki grabbed one of my arms and began the tedious process of trying to drag me out of bed. I wished her luck. There was something oddly peaceful about the morning, I could tell as soon as I looked outside. Even though it was still nearing late winter, there wasn't any snow this morning, and there was a light fog as the sun was rising to burn it all away. Right. Class. Had to get dressed.

_But I really didn't want to._

"How'd you get in here?" I sat up straight, but had no intentions of moving just yet. I wanted my question answered. I always locked my door. Always, always, always.

She sighed, "Is that really important? we've got thirteen minutes!"

"Then why'd you even bother coming to wake me up? You could already be there by now." I was completely puzzled. I'd heard her. She called me strange.

"Because you really gave me a hand last night. I needed to thank you." She said, tugging on my arm, "Now lets gooo!" Great, she was whining now.

"Waking me up is thanking me? Really? Because I thought for sure it was _punishment._"

"Please, just come on!" She begged, "I really don't want to be stuck with extra classes again…" I looked into her eyes, before giving in.

"Fine, fine. But get out of my room and wait for me there. Shoo." I waved my hand to the door.

"You'll hurry, right?"

"Yeah."

I practically pushed her out of the room.

I got dressed into my uniform in a little under five minutes, leaving just seven minutes to run to class. I didn't count on being on time. There was no way. But nonetheless, I quickly brushed through my hair, and then slammed my door behind me as Yuuki and I darted for class.

She was a lot faster than me, and I felt a burning in my chest as I ran. It was uncomfortable, and I wished more than ever that my full strength would return to me. There were the black splotches, covering my vision. This just proves why I don't like to run. Ever.

"Faster, Aiko-chan!" Yuuki called to me from up ahead. I did what I shouldn't have done. I ran even faster. It was my last little bit of kick that I had left to me, and it was a mistake to use it.

I had to stop. But something in my forced me to keep going.

We were in the hallway. Only a little further to go…

_Just a little further. Keep going, Aiko._

The bell rang. Only four seconds after the bell rang, we were in.

Yes, I had actually counted those seconds.

The teacher let us off with a warning. I sat down next to Yuuki and in front of Zero. I was panting. Hard. I wasn't sure if I would puke or not, but it felt like I was going to. My vision was off, and I couldn't concentrate on the teacher's lecture. I thought I might pass out. After puking. This was why I didn't run…the prickling.

_Oh. No._

Not now. Not now. Not now. I tried to concentrate on staying a normal human. It was hard. I still wasn't completely over the morning run I'd just had. The prickling sensation was becoming much more strong now, and more obvious.

And wouldn't you know I hadn't gone to see Nightshade for my pills yet. I would have to do that. Today. However, I wasn't planning on this to happen so early. The running must have caused it…not the running, but how my body had been kicked to its breaking point and beyond. I pretended to bend down and itch my ankle, secretly opening the pill case which was just inside my shoe. I only had one left. But it would have to do. If it didn't…I'd just have to run.

I couldn't run anymore though. I just didn't think my body could take any more pressure. Oh, dang, wasn't this just a beautiful situation I was in. I brought my hands back to my mouth, slipping the pill in. I swallowed quickly, and then prayed the sensation would stop. I really didn't need this to happen right now.

_**Someone was looking at me.**_

I turned around, to see Zero, almost glaring at me. His hands were in fists, and he looked ready to break something. He'd seen me slip the pill. But…why was he acting like…this? I turned back around to face the teacher, trying to recollect myself. Zero was angry at me. For no apparent reason. Unless he'd gotten the wrong idea…did he think I was…a pill-popper or something? Because I sure as heck wasn't. I'm not…that way…

After the last class got out I just wanted to get away from Zero. I didn't want to have to explain. He was in the majority of my classes, too, and had been giving me similar funny looks all day long. He would make me explain what those pills were for, I just knew it.

And I also highly doubted that he'd believe me if I told him. That might just prove that they were…not doing good things to my brain. My back hadn't made any other serious attempts throughout the day, but had been on the verge. I needed to get my pills from Nightshade. I would have to ask the Chairman for permission to leave school grounds…

I sauntered down the hall, pushing past people as I went. But I knew my attempts were all in vain. Zero was following me, and that was obvious. I managed to get away from the Day Class students and hide behind one of the building walls. I knew he'd be coming for me any second.

And sure enough.

He crushed me against the wall by my shoulders, holding me slightly up above the ground. I grimaced. It was not a pleasant grip, either. It was meant to hurt, but not enough so I would cry out in pain. He was being gentle on me, and I couldn't understand why. There was a look of hurt in his eyes.

"You're one of them, aren't you?" He asked through gritted teeth.

"One of what?" I asked, stunned he was even doing this.

"You're a vampire."

"That's crazy. Even if I was, you would know it. You would have known it from the start." What I was saying was completely true. He would have known. But he was confused, and I guess when you're confused logic doesn't have to make sense.

"Then what were those pills?" He asked, "They looked identical to blood tablets." He was angry with me. He thought I was lying.

"They weren't! You wouldn't understand!" I cried, pushing him away from me. He looked shocked I'd just pushed him away from me. "You don't understand," I said in a hoarse whisper. I took a few steps away from him. "It's not what you're thinking." I paused. The wind blew my hair to one side. When it settled again, I asked, "I'm not even sure why it bothers you so much."

"Then tell me. What are you?" He asked, still not prepared to let it off with an explanation of pain-killers. Pain-killers weren't even allowed on school grounds unless they were given to us from the nurse.

"That's nothing you need to know." I said sternly, before beginning to walk away. His hand grabbed my forearm. I figured that wouldn't be a good enough answer.

"It's my job to protect the Day Class. So, I do need to know."

"And believe me, they aren't in danger. I'm not dangerous, and I am most certainly NOT a dirty, evil, vampire. So just shut up and leave me alone!" I cried, "I'm insulted you even considered me being a vampire."

"Shh, Sakura. You're being too loud. The Day Class will hear you."

"My name isn't even Sakura. It's not even my last name." I spat. Whatever. I didn't have a reason to keep the secret from him anymore. My expression softened. "I'm not who you think I am, and I'm not who anyone here thinks I am." I thought I was going to cry.

"Where are you going with this, Aiko?"

"It's Aikido, not Aiko." I sighed, after a long pause. Well, one thing was certain- I couldn't keep a secret for very long. But whatever happened…he could be the only one to know.

"Haruke…Aikido…?" He asked, saying each name as if it were the first time he'd ever said them.

I couldn't stop the tears from filling my eyes. "Yes." Was all I could stutter out.

There was a pregnant pause. Those were getting very frequent. But all of the anger had rushed out of him like a popped balloon. I wasn't sure what to expect.

"Is it really…but you're- you died. It's not you. It can't be." He was denying it. Great. Well _this was going well. If you couldn't tell, that was sarcastic._

"_I didn't die," I said, slightly irritated. I had really hoped that this would go better, "But…you can't tell anyone that I'm here, or my real name."_

"_Well why on Earth not?" He asked quietly, "Why are you trying to hide yourself?"_

"_Because. For years I've been hunted. By vampires. Ever since my father came along and killed the vampire that attacked me just in time. My whole family has been…brutally murdered off, one by one. We've done everything, from changing our last name to moving everywhere you can imagine."_

"_But your entire family…they were seasoned hunters, weren't they?" This was getting very uncomfortable._

"_Yeah. But…these weren't…normal vampires…they were stronger, and they attacked at…times when we were unprepared." I changed my attitude, "This is not my most comfortable topic. You can't tell anyone." I tried to make the 'anyone' as clear as I possibly could._

"_I understand. But…on a more personal note…" suddenly he hugged me from behind. It was quick though, as if he was afraid that I would shy away or hit him or something. "Ichiru and I…we missed you when you left. Do you still have…One the stuffed cat?" He asked. Wow. Not many guys asked you if you had a stuffed animal, and referred to it by its name._

"_Yeah…" I said quietly. I'd named the cat One as a joke. Hey, I was six at the time. It's not like I had a complex thinking pattern. Get it? Zero, One, Two, Three…yeah. "You remember?" I asked, kind of shocked._

"_I never forgot about you…" But he loved Yuuki now. That was obvious enough, "But don't think that this means I'm going to forget about our original conversation." I'd almost forgotten about that. Almost. _

_Why couldn't I be the one that he cared for? I couldn't make him love me though. That would be wrong. Yuuki would always be in the way…-insert nasty thoughts here-._

"_I have to go," I said rather darkly. I gave him one last longing glance before walking away. I had to get my pills from Nightshade. Before the rush began…_


	5. A Common Lie

I don't own Vampire Knight. But you're smart enough to figure that out. Wish I did, but don't we all?

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"Nightshade?" I knocked on the heavy wooden door, almost frightened to see him again. Nightshade was like a second father to me, he'd taught me everything that he could. I hadn't seen him in so long. Maybe he didn't even live hear anymore.

"Who wants to know?" He disguised his voice with a tint of an Irish accent. One he only wished that he had. I smiled to myself. Nightshade was still the same, as always. Strange little hermit of a man.

"It's Aikido!" I called through the door, going up on tip-toes and peering through his peep-hole. The one that was ridiculously large, with a thin crack running down it that distorted your vision. I heard him mutter to himself as he walked cautiously over to the door. His eye met mine in the peephole, before turning down to unlock the large amount of security that he had installed on his door. All in all it was forty seconds before the door clicked open.

Nightshade was maybe forty years of age, with dark, jet black hair that was pulled back into a messy, wavy ponytail, and he had stubble along his thick chin. His eyes- well- eye was dark brown, so much so that it appeared a coal color. He had an eye patch over his right eye, with a long thin scar running up to his hairline, and down to the bottom of his neck. A "were-wolf attack" was what he called it. I didn't really believe it though. He was very short- maybe only having a half inch on my already short 5 foot 3. Nightshade was a swindler, and a con-artist, and a thief, and every other name in the book.

And I looked up to him with every ounce of my life.

Not for any of his bad qualities- but for his good.

For example- he hunts vampires, and other creatures, yet he isn't human himself. He only hunts the wanted ones- the escaped ones, and the horrid ones. To all else he is a friendly man. Well, not really. He doesn't trust anyone, and you can't trust him either. He's the type who'll rat you out if he's offered enough cash, let me warn you.

The cash I held in my pocket now was what I needed for the pills- that I suppose I stole myself from my parents drawer before the police had arrived at my house. Who knows what they would have done with it? I had needed it for reasons such as this. I would never steal from my family- or anyone- unless it was of vital importance. I stroked my pocket gently, making sure I still had the money on me. To my relief, I did.

"Come in, come in, Aiko," Nightshade gestured to his apartment, which surprisingly, was sparkling clean. Immaculate. I was surprised. I wondered how much he'd stolen or sold for this. He offered me his couch. I sat down.

"What can I help you with today? The usual?" He gave me a smile, revealing atrocious crooked teeth.

"Yes, please."

"How many? 50, 100, 200, or 500? I've got plenty. Not many of us come around these days."

"How much?" I asked blankly.

` "5 pills a dollar. I have to get rid of these fast, they're nearing expiration." Wow. I was surprised he cared about the condition of his services. Maybe he had changed a bit.

"How close to expiration?" I asked, using the marketing skills he'd taught me himself.

"Six months." He said with a straight face.

"You're lying," I said, with a straighter face.

"Ah, I've taught you well, Aikido. Four months." This time he'd told the truth. I tried doing the math in my head. Two a day…60 a month…four months…240, was it? That was around what I'd need.

"Three hundred," I demanded. Three hundred dived by five…ah, what was that? Sixty dollars?

"That wasn't one of the amounts I have offered." He continued.

"I don't care. 300 or no sale." I could have almost laughed at this pathetic little haggle. I'd done it with him so many times before. But my straight face continued on its course.

He smiled at me, "Of course. But why so many for only four months? You used to need barely one hundred."

"It's been getting more frequent." I said cautiously.

"That sounds like a problem, Miss Aikido." He said politely as he counted off the little white pills into a bottle for me. I counted with my eyes, to make sure he didn't skimp. He wouldn't- but he would be testing me. He was always testing me. Sure enough, he stopped at two fifty. I'd expected that, and responded without a moments hesitation.

"That was only two hundred and fifty, Nightshade," I said, with a tone of anger in my voice.

He smiled, "Good job, Miss Aikido." He counted off another fifty, and handed me the bottle. "Now the money of course…give me fifty. I wouldn't dream of making you pay full price."

"Right." I handed him an even fifty, before taking the bottle in my pocket. I started to get up, but turned back to him. "The real pills please." I tossed him back the rigged bottle. He tossed me the correct bottle, and I gave him a smile before leaving.

"Be careful on your trip, Miss Aikido," He called to me as I closed his wooden door. I couldn't help but wonder what he meant by that.

I shook it off. He was a loon. It was probably nothing. Or just common courtesy. Plenty of people wished their visitors well on their way out. It was normal.

_Nothings normal. _

I started back to the Academy. But not before checking to make sure my Bloody Rose was still intact. It was, thankfully. I'd have a weapon should I need it. But with luck, I wouldn't need it. With my luck, however, I would need it. I walked out of the city on my guard, being sure to study my surroundings and the faces of the people around me. I couldn't risk my safety. I confidently walked through the streets, but at the same time tried to act normal, and under the radar.

When I was out of the city, I almost felt safer in the woods. There, under the dark canopy of leaves and branches, I felt safe. There were more places to hide, and less people to cross paths with. Call me strange. It's what I am, on the inside. But aren't we all, just a little bit? It wasn't too far a walk to the school, so I took my time, and focused on the noises that surrounded me, like familiar friends that I never had. The creatures of the wood were my friends, and would not hurt me lest I provoke them. I snuck back in through the front gates. I had not told anyone where I had gone off to so quickly. I prayed that no one had noticed that I had left. Of course, everything I don't want to happen happens anyways. Why do I even bother. It was only a matter of time before…

"Where have you been?" Yuuki and Zero were looking at me furiously.

Ah, well, there went MY confidence. I drew a circle in the dirt with my shoe. "I had to get something." I muttered, trying to stay calm.

"Aiko! One, You can't just go off willy-nilly like that! You're a Prefect and you're supposed to set a good example. Two, you didn't have permission. Three, HOW could you just leave us to fend for ourselves when it's…well, psycho-girl day? And FOUR, we were worried about you!" Yuuki cried running over to me.

Only then did I get some sort of clue to what time it was. Oops. I guess I HAD missed it. Ah, well. "Look I'm sorry. But it was really, really important, and the Chairman wouldn't let me go out on his permission." There was a lie. Gosh, those were popping up like dandelions running rampant in a field! "Besides. You both look fine to me. Clean, not trampled on…unscathed." Ish. Ish was the key thing there, and I didn't want to admit it, so I kept it in my head. Technically that wasn't a lie…right? Okay, so, yeah, it was. You got me. But it was nothing more than a little white lie…

"Well where were you than?" Yuuki demanded to know.

"Ah…that's really not important." I said, trying to convince her that she didn't need to know. Or at least give her the hint.

"Ah, yes it is, Aiko." Yuuki said, getting annoyed with me.

"Just shut up." I said, rather coldly, before walking away. Maybe I just didn't like her. I didn't, really. Although I suppose that was unfair. It's not like I could hate her because Zero liked her better.

Oh, wait.

Yes I could.

It sure wouldn't be right, but I could. No, I couldn't. Because I already did. Confused yet? I thought so. I felt something grab my arm, and I turned around ready to punch the lights out of whoever it was. It was Zero though, and I took back that thought. Somehow I had an awkward feeling that he could kill me before I could even lay a hand on him. I felt danger illuminating from him.

"What?" I asked, getting very irritated by now.

"What's the matter with you, Aikido? What are you trying to tell us?" He asked softly. I doubted that Yuuki could still hear him.

"Nothing…" I jerked my arm away, and gave him a look that said "please don't touch me again if you know what's good for you." "I'm fine."

Perhaps those two little words, "I'm fine," are the most commonly used lie out there…

And I AM one of those people who wished for him to spin me around right then and there and look me in the eyes and say "Tell me the truth."

But he didn't.

_They._

_Never._

_Did._

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Hmm, that chapter seemed short. But it's 1 A.M. right now, so cut me some slack. I'm trying...although this rapid uploading isn't going to be a regular thing when school starts...

Reviews are much appreciated and give me the inspiration to keep writing!

There's not enough romance is there? I apologize for that!! I just want to keep things going at a good pace...however right now there isn't a pace. Ah, I promise to have a Aikido warm up to Zero a little more in the next chapter!


	6. The List of Things I'm Not

I still don't own Vampire Knight!! …Really wish I did, but I DON'T!! The only thing that I claim are my original characters…which so far just includes Aikido/Aiko, Nightshade, and any other minor characters that were included in Aiko's family…

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The next morning I woke up on my own, thankfully. It was a weekend, so I'd been able to sleep soundly. I looked out my window, seeing that it was a dark day, that threatened rain. Rain… the droplets were already starting to accumulate on the window. I stood up and pressed my nose to the window, and my breath instantly fogged up the window. I ran my hand through my hair with a sigh, as I stepped back. Still in my pajamas, a black tank top and dark red baggy pants, I began to walk down to the kitchen, only to be greeted by…er…my "father."

"Good morning Aiko!" He sang out. I groaned as I sat down at the kitchen table. Last night had included rather dark dreams…

"Not a morning person, are you Aiko-chan?" Yuuki asked brightly as if last night had never happened. I let out a sigh of relief- she had kept it a secret and hadn't told the Chairman.

"Not in the very least." I said coldly. I hated mornings. I was tired, a mess, and always recovering from the nightmares. The nightmares- they always came, no matter what. The nightmares couldn't be helped. I yawned, before standing up to make something to eat. Coffee had never appealed to me- personally I couldn't even imagine someone drinking the stuff.

"What can I eat?" I asked, not wanting to eat something that wasn't supposed to be.

"Anything, really," Yuuki said, sitting down with…something that looked like shriveled pancakes. It took me a minute to process that that was what they were. Pancakes. Far too overcooked.

I couldn't help but glance in the trashcan. I almost cracked a smile when I saw the chocolates that Yuuki had made with my help, nestled inside. She'd overcooked them, or something…and hadn't told me. I can't say I really blamed her. She was no master chef- that was plain enough.

After I poked around the refrigerator and cabinets, I decided that I wasn't hungry after all. Maybe it was the stench of Yuuki's…burnt little crispy potato-chip thin pancakes. I didn't even realize it was possible for pancakes to look like that. Under any circumstances. I couldn't stand the odor of anything burning. It made me want to puke- while I'm being honest. Cherish it, I'm not honest a lot.

"Ah…Chairman?" I started my question carefully.

"Yes, Aiko?" He asked seriously, turning to me.

"I was just wondering if I could go off school grounds today…I just want to shop around…I didn't really get that many things from my house…" And I just wanted to be a teenager for once. Just this once…

"Not alone, of course."

"No- I ah- Yuuki's coming with me!" I said suddenly, giving Yuuki a wide smile that said 'you'd better agree with this.'

"Yeah! I am, actually…I was going to help her pick out a dress for the dance thing…even though that's not really all that close, we wanted to shop early!" WHAT?! NO. No…uh-uh. I didn't wear dresses. Or heels. Or anything. I had just been planning on going in my uniform…

Now I would have to get a dress.

"Oh, well that's great! I'm glad to see you're finally showing some appreciation for the school!" The Chairman smiled at us, and I gave a frustrated glance to Yuuki. I grabbed her arm and pulled her out of the kitchen.

"What…were you _thinking?!_" I cried, putting my hands up in fists behind my ears and shutting my eyes to keep myself from not clawing her eyes out right then and there.

She gave me a funny look, "You mean you don't want to impress a certain someone?" She asked, sounding disappointed. Okay. If only she wasn't human, she would have been second on my hit list.

"Ugh- I mean- wait WHAT? For one, I'm not interested in anyone here," a lie. Told you to enjoy my honesty well it lasted, "For two…I don't wear dresses," I started to whine, "Ever. It's just not…" I shuddered, "Me."

She looked at the floor disappointed. "Just this once! Come on…besides, it's too late now…we already told him that's what we'd be looking for…"

"No…YOU told him that."

She perked up, suddenly. "You know what? Too bad. We're getting you a dress. I don't care what it takes."

So now she was taking on Mission Never-Gonna-Happen.

Oh, boy. She was not going to have a fun time here…She had no idea what she was in for.

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"I have more!" Yuuki called to me from outside of the dressing room.

"What do you mean, more?" I whined, as maybe six or seven more dresses flew over the top of the stall and sat on top of the door.

So far, I was failing at this. I was too short for everything here, and I would trip over the hem if I even tried to walk in them. Even if I HAD been wearing heels. I sighed, having lost almost all hope. I opened the door a crack to pass the failure ones to Yuuki, and dragged the new ones in. It didn't take me long to eliminate four of those dresses just by appearance. One of the remaining three was a short black dress, that came down to my knees. It tied up the back with black string. It was rather plain, but I liked it. It flared out halfway down my stomach. White lace poked out from underneath. But it was too expensive. I took it off, a little disappointed.

No- not disappointed. I was winning! If I couldn't find a dress then I wouldn't have to wear one!

But some part of me was enjoying being a girl for once. Oh gee- maybe that was the GIRL part. Wow, there was a shock. I had never been the girl that boys would ever consider going to a dance with, or kissing. I had always been the girl that was fun to play football or basketball with, or the one who would do anything from eat bugs to climb trees. Of course…I had changed since I was little, and I was no longer a tomboy. I was actually a girl, I'd discovered, under the hard exterior I'd formed. There's a shock.

I tried on the second dress, which was short like the first one. Yuuki had figured out the long dresses just weren't cutting it for me.

The second dress was dark red, and flared out like the first one. The top part included some sparkles, something that really turned me off. The sleeves started below the shoulders, and were too long for my arms. Way too long. The dress was fake silk, but felt so nice and comfortable I figured I'd just go with this one. I could always fake sick later. Besides. I didn't want this torture to continue.

"I found one…" I grumbled.

"Can I see?" She begged.

"Fine." I stepped out of the dressing room and I heard her gasp. "What?" I asked self-conscious.

"You are a girl under there!" She smiled at me, and I looked at myself in the three way mirror. This was not going to go over well with most people, I could tell.

"I'm not buying it- never mind…" I ran back into the dressing room and ripped it off. I got back into my regular clothes and hurried back out.

"What? Was it something I said?" Yuuki asked, hurrying after me as I escaped the store.

"Not at all. But I don't…" I paused. "I just don't want to…get dressed up. We can just tell the Chairman that we didn't find anything."

Her eyebrows knitted together. "But…you looked great in that dress," She protested.

"No, I didn't," I argued. Everything had to be an argument with me. I just began walking back, ignoring her protests.

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Later on that night, I was wandering around the school grounds, patrolling. The night altogether had been pretty quiet, but it was only a matter of time. Days off from classes were always the worst. Especially for the Night Class. I was replaying the day's events in my head. I didn't like clothes shopping. Especially not dress shopping. I figured that maybe I should apologize to Yuuki. I wasn't very good at apologizing though, I'd never really had to. I didn't talk to people in the first place. But Yuuki had just gone and dragged me kicking and screaming out of my comfort zone. I sat down on a bench, bored. It was awfully quiet for a day off, or it was compared to some of the stories that Yuuki had given me.

I had my gun at my side, if needed, which gave me a bit of bragging rights, I supposed. My pills were inside my shoe again- and I'd been checking them constantly. I was in a poor mood. I hadn't really wanted to buy that dress, I decided, but maybe it would have been good for the girl in me. Well, actually, all of me was girl. But sometimes it just wasn't as obvious as it could be.

_Footsteps._

I jumped up, pretending I hadn't stopped. I had to stay on my guard. I couldn't just ignore that because of my personal issues and insecurity.

"Aikido," I heard Zero's voice from behind me. I took a deep breath and turned around.

"Can I help you?" I asked sarcastically. He took a few steps towards me.

"What's going on with you?" Well, someone didn't bother with small talk before just popping right to the point.

"Is that really your business?" I asked, clenching my hands into fists.

"Yes actually. But…not just on business. I'm concerned about you."

I blinked, processing that for a minute. My hands relaxed at my sides. "It doesn't matter. You don't have to act like you care."

"Who suggested that I was acting?" The expression on his face told me he was serious.

I took a few small steps closer to him, "I did."

In about two seconds I was pushed against a tree, at full force. Okay, ow. Wasn't expecting that. "Tell me what's going on with you, Aikido." He ordered.

"No…" I was not going to give into him with this secret so easily. This was the secret that I'd protected for as long as I could remember. It was vital that no one knew. Zero was no exception to my personal rule.

His grip on my shoulders tightened, "Tell me."

I forced myself through his grip so I could stand up straight. I was shorter compared to him- a lot shorter. "No. I have to protect my secret." I stared into his eyes coldly. He stared- well, glared right back. "And I'm quite positive that you're hiding some of your own secrets. So I really don't feel obliged to tell you."

"Just tell me one thing. You're not human, are you?"

I sighed. "I'm actually seventy-five percent human. Probably more human then a vampire. And one other thing- I'm no monster." My gaze never left his eyes. That was a lie, actually. I was a monster- but not for what I was. For who I was.

I looked at the ground, as the silence thickened the atmosphere. "Kill me if you want. I know how much you dislike things that aren't full human." I said that with no fear in my voice. Death was something I welcomed and openly considered.

"Why would I kill…you?" He made it sound like it was the most absurd thing in the world.

"Because…it will never be the way that it was before I 'died' will it? You're not the same, and you treat me differently than you used to. And you know what? It's all because of Yuuki, isn't it? She's the reason that you're so apart from me. You aren't concerned about me, you're just concerned for the school's protection!" Oops. Went a little off the handle there--

The prickle. It was coming on fast. Like a thousand tiny needles. I had to get out of here. I quickly sat down against the tree, with Zero still taking in what I'd just said. I reached for my shoe, but Zero grabbed my hands. "No. I'm not going to let you have those."

And the tearing of skin began…I moaned out in pain and looked away, avoiding his eyes, "Zero…you have to let me- I need them. Now…"

"No. Not until you tell me." They tore further through the soft flesh, and I felt my eyes start to water.

"Shut up! Just shut up…I need them. Now. Maybe I'm not ready to tell you ye- ye-" I whimpered as the skin continued to be forced open. Any second now I would be exposed. "I need them…" I choked out in barely a whisper. He held both of my hands with one of his, while he bent down, took the case out of my shoe, and then handed it to me.

"Here. I can't make you." I hastily swallowed three pills, and quieted for possibly two minutes while my skin began to go back to normal.

"What…was that about?" He asked softly, studying me carefully. I didn't pleasure him so much as to let him read my facial expressions.

"How many times do I have to-"

"Not that." He cut me off quickly. What you said…before…" he trailed off.

"Nothing." I whispered quietly.

"The truth." He ordered. "You can either tell me that, or why you need these…" he waved the pill container in front of my face.

Hmm. Well something told me I wasn't going to win this. "It's really not important…I don't even know what I meant by it myself…I just freaked out-"

"Why did you say that part about Yuuki, I mean." He looked upset that I said something that might be offensive to her, and that set me off. I felt the tears come running down my cheeks. This shocked Zero. "Why are you…"

"You just…don't _care_ about me anymore, do you? Not even a little, as a friend. You can't even be friends with me because- because of _her!" I closed my eyes, not wanting to see his reaction. I wanted to turn into a little shriveled ball and float away._

"Ai-ko…is…that really what you think? That's utterly absurd! I never stopped caring about you just because I thought you were dead-"

I didn't let him finish, "You don't treat me the same."

"That's because you…puzzle me. You won't tell me what's going on with you, and it's frustrating me. I'm just trying to figure you out…"

"You would hate me. You would change every little feeling that you had about me to begin with, and you would just throw it away and want to kill me."

"Shut up." He said quickly, before his lips brushed quickly against mine, "Just shut up already. You're not a vampire. I wouldn't have any reason to hate you. You told me yourself that you weren't a monster."

I wasn't sure if that kiss was just to shut me up. I betted that it was._ "There's a lot of things I'm not, Zero. I'm not Yuuki."_


	7. Drastic Measures

I don't own Vampire Knight…blah blah blah…property of it's owner, not me…blah, blah, blah… oh and also, Aikido is just a name I made up…it probably has no meaning whatsoever. Actually I'm 99.99% sure that it has absolutely no meaning. But I just liked the way it sounded…now on with the story!!!! Because I don't like cliffhangers!!!

Warning: Gets a little out of character here…but I needed to make it work. And somewhere I believe that Zero can be a softie. So…onwards.

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"_There's a lot of things I'm not, Zero. I'm not Yuuki."_

Well, hell, why did I say that, now? I Wished I could take it back as soon as the words were out of my mouth. It was too late though. I put a hand over my mouth fearfully, an grabbed my case from his hand while he was distracted. Why did I say that?

_Because you're stupid…you just can't keep your thoughts to yourself now can you?_

"Why would you say a thing like that?" Zero asked, as I began to walk away.

"Just forget it…" I mumbled, not turning around.

He grabbed my shoulder again. I sucked in a breath, waiting for his thick head to get in the way, and having to spill my heart out right then and there. "Wait, Aikido. Are you…jealous?" He now looked completely confused.

I didn't answer him. Why should I? Okay, so there was a list of reasons why I should. But there was also a bigger list of reasons of why I didn't want to. Well, bigger list null-and-voids the other one, so, I remained quiet. In fact, I was jealous. Very jealous. But…I didn't have to let him know that. He didn't need to know my feelings, not now. Why would I even bother to tell him only to have my heart crushed in the black bleakness of disappointment? Ah, and its phrases like that that make me sound like a Goth writing poetry. (I'm kidding, by the way).

"Yuuki isn't…I couldn't compare you to her even if I wanted to."

_Yuuki isn't…well, you couldn't hold a candle to her._

"She's not you."

_You're not her._

"You were my best friend as a kid…"

_And I don't want to risk that._

"And…I've always cared for you."

_But not as much as Yuuki._

"And whatever you think…I don't have the feelings for her that you think I do. I did…but…she's in love with…that…vampire."

_And you're just my second choice._

I walked away. I didn't want Yuuki's leftovers. Well, actually I did. But he could never forget about her. Not entirely. Let's face it…he didn't care about me. Not as much as he could have…

"Aikido…" I heard him whisper my name.

For once in my life, I wished that he'd call me by my last name.

"What?" I asked, whirling around. I just couldn't walk away, could I? Nope. Just had to be stupid little me and continue to drag this out.

"Now it's my turn to say that you don't understand." He said quietly, slowly inching towards me again. Hmm. Just when I thought I could talk to him from all the way over here…

"I understand plenty…" I drifted off.

"No, you don't," He said, putting a hand to my cheek. I restrained myself from taking it, biting it, and not letting go. Not because I'm a vampire, just because…well hey, I mean, it would hurt. And I was mad at him. But I didn't, because I knew that I was better than that. He took a deep breath, "I could never care for Yuuki even half as much as I care about you. When I learned that it was you…I couldn't breathe. I didn't want to believe it, because I'd been hiding from false truths all of my life. Hoping you weren't dead."

Well…was not expecting that… "Don't lie to me…" I whispered quietly.

"I'm not lying to you," He said stubbornly.

And somehow, I took it to my heart, and believed him. Which was stupid, I know. But…I…couldn't help myself. How could I not believe it? He meant a lot to me…I could just never show it to him unless he returned the feeling.

"Remember when you were taller than me?" He asked.

"No." I said bluntly, kind of surprised.

Suddenly, he leaned down, which was kind of far because I was so short, and kissed me, a bit longer this time, and more passionately. I didn't know how to react, besides to kiss back. When he released me, I bolted. The tears were still running down my cheeks, on a path to nowhere. Now he was in danger as well… I couldn't risk it.

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When I returned to my room, I found them waiting for me. There were two vampires, ready to attack me. In a flash, one had thrown my gun across the room, and thrown me against a wall.

"Lock the door," he growled to his companion while he held me by my throat to the wall. His companion did so, and then they both took one of my arms and held me in a firm grip. "The mighty Aikido Haruke…so careless. Such a bad hunter. But you're just beautiful now, and let me tell you that you smell like nothing I've smelled before." I shuddered, and tried to pull away.

"Such a careless girl…not even fighting to tell a simple boy her real name. That was all it took. Ah, but we heard it all." He sneered at me, before rubbing along the lines on my back where the prickling would occur. Where the skin would burst to reveal…it. He knew about it, and I wasn't sure how.

"Stop it!" I cried desperately, trying to get away. It was useless though. Unless…suddenly the companion bit down on my neck, and I shrieked, as the other one bit the other side. I would have to…oh boy…

Take drastic measures now. Suddenly, I induced the prickling sensation, and in no time it was done. The beautiful feathered wings- one black, one white, and almost the entire height of my body- gave me the strength to jump up towards the ceiling, which put them in a bad spot, and they fell from me. In a flash I was down to the floor where my gun was, and I fumbled to get it to work. If they were shocked at first- now they were just pissed that their meal had gotten away. I raised the gun, and fired two shots, knowing they'd be my only chance before they reached me. By now, the Night Class would have smelled my blood. Someone would be coming.

One of the bullets hit its target, and the companion was dead on the floor. Someone would have heard the shots- that I was certain of. The other one had missed far off of its target. The vampire came charging at me, and I knew I had very little time to get my pills into my system- the only way to control the wings at my age. If I had been older, more seasoned, or if I just ever bothered to practice with them- I could have just pulled them in at will. I was none of those things though, and I considered how hard it would be to dodge him and take the pills at the same exact time. I had to think fast, the Night Class would be on their way by now. I couldn't be seen like this. I quickly grabbed the case from my shoe, while trying to dodge his attacks. He'd jumped on me by now, and he was starting to take my blood again. I worked with my hands, trying to get the pills out that I needed. Four- I quickly decided, since I'd let it go all the way through. I managed to pop them in my mouth, and swallow them…

I was starting to lose consciousness fast.

Someone was unlocking the door…someone was coming in…someone dragged the beast off of me…my wings were gone, but I was aware that there was still going to be two long rips in my shirt…there was another gunshot…and then someone was holding me as my world slipped to black…

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_That was a short, sloppy chapter, fast moving chapter… I know… I'm having way to much fun writing this...quality is going downwards, I know...I think I might take a break from writing this…or at least spend more time editing and adding things in….so next chapter might not be up for a bit…but it will be better, I hope._

_I love reviews, so please, please review!! Because I don't want to keep writing this if nobody even likes it…_

_When school starts, I might have to go as far as to say I can only update once a week._


	8. Even

I don't own Vampire Knight. I never will. Sadly.

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Pain. Sharp, shooting, violent pain…I couldn't open my eyes. What had happened to me?

Then I remembered. But why couldn't I-?! My eyes flickered open. Over-reacting. Again. Stupid me, eh? I was in my bed, and it was dark. Those were two things that I could comprehend. I felt like someone had stabbed my neck. Oh- right- well I guess someone had. I reached a hand up to touch my neck. My fingers came in contact with something that wasn't skin, and I shuddered, until I realized that it was only a bandage. Put there for…well obvious reasons if you asked me. Then again, I don't suppose that you did, now did you? My neck was still sore…and so was my back. I hadn't let my wings fully come out in what seemed like…well, years, maybe. But it was only a mere months. Yet still, my back felt as though someone was trying to rip my skin off with pliers. I turned over to my side. Big mistake. I yelped in pain. My side must have been bruised…I came face to face with the bright red digits on my alarm clock. It was only four…so why was it dark then? The shades were down, obviously. I guessed it might have only been a day that I was out…maybe a bit less than that.

I forced myself upwards, stretching carefully, so as not to hurt myself. I couldn't be sure what day it was until I asked…The pain wasn't that bad, in reality, when I put my mind on other things…

_Everything was just in my head…_

I wondered if I was going crazy. Perhaps, but not very likely, I ruled out.

_Shower. You need to take a shower. _Yes. A shower was a good idea… I pushed some of my hair behind my ear before returning into my room to get some clean clothing. For now I would just wear comfort clothing, and not my uniform…I carried my pile of clothes down the hall into the bathroom, after putting a light pink towel on the handle. I looked at myself in the mirror. Gosh, I was a mess…red eyes, tangled hair…I was still in my torn uniform too…It would need to be replaced. I carefully began the tedious process of combing out my hair. I couldn't help but flinch every time a tangle was forced out. I washed my face with a warm facecloth, which felt amazing.

The shower was the best part though. I had never been so thankful for a nice, hot shower in my life. It stung on my back, but I didn't really care all too much. Cleanliness won over. When I stepped out, I enjoyed the nice warm steam that filled the room. I carefully combed out my hair again, which was much easier the second time. I slipped into my comfort clothes, and didn't bother to put the bandage on my neck back on. My neck looked and felt fine now, so I didn't think it was necessary. I looked back into the mirror when the steam had cleared away. I looked a lot better. I felt better, too. I walked out with my torn uniform in my hands, and walked slowly to the Chairman's office.

I knocked on the door.

"Come in!" He called cheerfully. I opened the door and poked my head in.

"Ah, Aiko, you're up!" I just nodded my head and stepped all of the way inside. "Are you feeling alright?"

"Just fine, actually. But…my uniform is kind of destroyed…" I showed him the back of my jacket.

"Oh, that's not a problem at all! But are you sure you're feeling okay? You were only asleep for under twenty-four hours. I would have assumed that you'd need more rest."

"I'm really, really fine," I assured him, "Just feeling a bit under the weather."

"As to be expected…" He looked interested enough, "No need to worry, you don't have to patrol tonight."

I nodded, thankfully. If anything would have happened tonight, I wouldn't have been able to pull through so quickly. That could have caused a crisis.

"I'm just curious to how you recovered so quickly," the Chairman asked, deep in thought.

It was because…I wasn't entirely human. Almost…but not all of the way. Enough to protect me from as much harm as possible. "I'd like to go and lie down now, if you don't mind," I said, gesturing to the door.

"Of course not! Please, go if you aren't feeling too good."

"Ah, I'm actually feeling pretty good…but I don't want to push myself too hard yet." I scampered out of the room. He always made me so uncomfortable.

As it would figure, I ran into Zero. Oh, joy. I almost fell over backwards from the impact.

"Aiko, you're up," He said plainly, steadying me by my shoulders. He didn't sound too excited or pleased to see me.

"Yeah…" I murmured.

"We need to talk." He said, looking at me seriously. Great, this was not going to go well.

"About?" I knew plenty well. No harm in making sure though.

"The…what happened…last night. Before the attack." Oh. Right. That. The kiss. Great, he was regretting it. I can't say I didn't expect it though. But I also can't say that I wasn't disappointed anyways.

"You're regretting that, aren't you?" I asked. Better to get a straight answer now then later.

"No…but…why did you run off like that?" He asked, with a tone that indicated slight hurt in his voice. But really, you could never tell with him.

"I…don't want to get you involved…" I said quietly, "It's not that I don't like you. I like you too much to…have you deal with my problems."

Suddenly Zero held his head and shut his eyes tightly. I tried to find the words to ask if he was alright, but he pushed past me and ran down the hall. I wondered if it was something that I said…I doubted that it was…he would have came up with a response…anything. But he wouldn't just run away like that. Something was going on…or not.

We _are_ talking about _Zero_, here. He's not exactly the most obvious person in the world. Well, not usually, anyways. For now I would have to just brush it off, having other things to worry about.

_What other things?_

Alright, so I admit it. There really were none.

Well, gee. What was I supposed to do now?

And to think Zero said that _I was the one who had something I wasn't telling._

Now I had something to hang over his head.

_Tch. Whatever._

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_Okay, I lied, it wasn't that great. One of my shorter chapters, I'm sad to say. But I wanted to update…and I have no idea what should happen next, so I wrote this kind of blindly._

_I like reviews!!! Like it? Hate it? Should I even bother continuing?_


	9. End of the Line or is it?

…I. Don't. Own. Vampire Knight…

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"Sakura!" Hn…someone was calling me…I hoped it was _Zero_ for some reason. No, no…Zero would have used my real name…I believed. I moaned softly, trying to push the voice away. "Sakura!" Louder now…was someone _looking_ for me?

"I'm right here," I groaned out.

"Sakura Aiko!" The voice was agitated now, and getting closer. And louder. Much louder. "Would you be so kind as to wake up and join the class?"

What? Huh? Wake-

Oh, fudge. I'd fallen asleep in class. Hmm, I supposed now the new ethics teacher would dislike me even more now. My eyes shot open, and my cheeks blushed bright pink. This was a first. I didn't fall asleep in class. Well, I didn't used to. How could I have possibly been so tired? I sat up for a quick moment, studying the clearly pissed off expression the Yagari-sensei was giving me. I didn't really blame him though. I was pissed with myself too. I heard some of my classmates giggling, and I just wanted to crawl into a hole and die. I wondered why Yuuki hadn't made any attempt to wake me up…then I realized that she'd fallen asleep as well. I guessed that she would wind up roused from her sweet dreams as well. I slumped back in my seat, embarrassed. It was a simple, simple little mistake, barely considered a tragedy compared to all that had happened to me. But yet, there I was, so embarrassed by this tiny little thing.

Coward. You fear your own failure. Even more than the death of your own parents.

Coward.

That little, two syllable word echoed in my head, loud and irritating. And clear as a bell. So much so, that I was surprised that it hadn't been spoken to be directly. No. The only thing that had been spoken to me was that I would have to have supplementary classes.

Oh, joy! Doesn't that sound like fun! As if I didn't have other, more important things to deal with. I almost said that- but than I realized that it wouldn't have made me or Yagari too thrilled. I would have sounded like a typical teenager mouthing smart talk to their tired, annoyed teacher.

I didn't want to be that unlucky teenager. So I kept my mouth shut.

"Yes Yagari-sensei," I muttered, keeping my eyes down.

Yuuki was awake now, but still looked very tired. And disappointed. I assumed the supplementary classes were a downer. But wouldn't they be to any sane person?

I tried to keep my head on straight for the rest of the day. This was not as easy as it sounded. Supplementary classes…I didn't recall ever having one…not as punishment, anyways. I groaned as I thought about it. I didn't suppose we were going to be having a tea party.

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No. That was definitely not a tea party. Not in the very least. I trudged back to my dorm, in a melancholy, dark sort of mood. I glared at random girls passing me by, who gave me scared little deer-in-the-headlight looks in return. Then they squeaked and hurried off with their friends. Good. Today was not a happy day. They should suffer with me. Why was I so scary though? What caused their fear of me? Those questions made me feel worse in the end, and it was my fault, too. My day was going a million miles an hour in the wrong direction…

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I stepped out of the Chairman's bathroom, since the one's in the girl's dorm were all being used. The Chairman was happy to let me use the one by his office, as always. He even offered to let me use one of his spare rooms for a bedroom, which I was almost considering. I would use it on days off, normally. I usually used that bathroom, since I was impatient and didn't want to wait.

I tied my hair up into a stubby ponytail with two soggy pieces off of the side. I clipped up the ponytail, to keep my wet hair out of my way. There. I looked at myself in the mirror, depressed with what I saw. I wasn't drop dead gorgeous…but I wished that I was. Not ugly though, I wasn't ugly. I wasn't fat either- so there was something.

Then there was…a rather disturbing even that followed this.

Something grabbed my shoulder from behind, and I shrieked quietly. There was a sickening pop as something began draining me of my life-force…where on earth was that Bloody Rose? Never with me when it should be! I tried to fight off the figure, but it was overpowering me, with one hand burying my face into his shoulder, suffocating me in the folds of his shirt. I could barely breathe under the distinct scent of heavy colognes, perfumes, and the smell of death itself. I struggled for air- anything to taste the sweetness of air…anything to come up, to escape, to fight this monster off of me. I was too weak though, too scared. Too afraid. I couldn't do anything, because I didn't want to die.

I was afraid of death.

Very afraid, for that matter.

The world slipped into a dark curtain of black. I deserved this.

Because I, Haruke Aikido, am a coward.

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That's the end...Hey, nobody really wanted me to write more...which makes me kinda sad. But...whatever...that's the end...

I CAN AND WILL CONTINUE IF SOMEONE WANTS ME TO. Because thats a crummy ending, and I don't want to leave it there...

However if I do continue it will be in the form of a sequal, probably...only if I get good reviews though...otherwise its end of the road...


	10. Low Common Sense

Okay…you wanted more, so…here's more!!

(Even though I mercilessly screwed up…nearly half of what I've written so far. Maybe more)

I don't own vampire knight.

BUT YAY ITS FINALLY UP!!!

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I woke up to a bright, blinding light that immediately reverted me to shutting my eyes tight, as if pretending I was invisible. Maybe if I concentrated really hard, I could be invisible.

Or not.

Let's go with the or not part. I pretended, though, as if I were. Maybe if I could pretend, it would be convincing enough that other people might not see me either.

Or not.

Why was I trying to hide, anyways?

Because I was a coward.

Okay- so obvious answer there. That was clearly a question that didn't need to be asked in the first place, don't you agree? I had failed.

Failed.

Failed.

Failed.

Like the horrible excuse for a vampire hunter that I am. I shouldn't have given up like that…I should have fought it off harder than I had.

But I didn't.

I had failed.

Because I was a coward. But you knew that already. I've told you before, haven't I? Perhaps you don't remember. But I doubt that. It was pretty obvious, I thought. Maybe you didn't need to be reminded a million zillion times. That I'm a coward. Oh, look. A million zillion and one. I had failed…myself. Dishonored my family name. Which I guess was pretty pointless now, anyways. They'd dishonored themselves, right? I mean…they decided to have me in the first place. But…on the other hand they had trained me with high expectations.

That I'd failed to meet. Touchy subject. Can we stop talking about this please?

Wait- I'm the only one talking. To who…I'm not even sure. To someone. Anyone who will listen. If there's anyone who will, anymore. Schizophrenic little me, right?

Oh that reminds me.

Hey little voices, am I dead?

No?

Thought not. But…I figured that I would ask…to be safe. You never know, eh?

That light was really beginning to irritate me! I turned my head to the other side, before daring to flutter my blue marbles open. An empty bed was beside me, sterile and lonely, as if waiting for an occupant. I was in a similar bed. Why? I wondered. I was at the hospital.

Well duh. Aren't I a genius? It only took me a whole five minutes to figure that out! Hooray, a new record. Wouldn't you love to have my IQ? Or my COMMON SENSE?

That's what I thought.

There was a black television above my head, clearly off, at least I was smart enough to figure that out. I could see my reflection in the screen, but barely. The view was distorted, and bubble-like. There was one of those bracelets around my arm. It was a bright red color, which deeply, deeply bothered me. I thought hospital stuff was supposed to be light colors. To you know…calm you down, maybe? I looked myself over, or what I could, anyways. There were a lot of bandages covering me everywhere, some in places where I couldn't remember getting hurt. And there were needles. Lots of them. Sticking into me everywhere.

Needles.

I can't stand needles.

Because I'm a coward. I couldn't even look at them, without the urge to rip them out. They were just shooting me full of gosh knows what kind of pain-killers…or whatever else it was that lived in those things…I didn't want to think about it. I would throw up, if I did. I knew it. My gaze trailed over to the window…where there were a few flowers in a vase, for me, clearly. Like the balloons. All from classmates. Classmates who were probably secretly wishing the death of me. Oh well. Ah, the traditional, "Get Well" balloons, of all shapes and colors, all slightly depressed towards the floor.

The flowers, were all of a species I couldn't name for my life. I can't identify over fifteen sixteenths of the flowers that exist. Maybe less. Probably less. And these were definitely no exception. Well, aside from the one red rose that was there. I wanted to get up, just to read the little square-shaped paper cards that were attached to the now dying flowers; but the medical…things (can't name those either) were preventing me from doing just that. So I'm not your smartest cookie in the cookie jar. But, I'm no standard level dunce either. I'm actually quite book smart. Just not in flowers.

Or medical equipment.

Well, now wasn't that second one a happy topic?

I heard beeping and quiet chatter outside of the room, as well as the sound of wheels rolling on spotless linoleum, and of course the quiet phone ringing. I hated hospitals. Hospitals were bad places.

Someone probably died in this bed. The very one I was lying in right now.

But at that moment, I was so happy that I wasn't just another death. Just another death. A pity. But something that these doctors saw every day.

And certainly I wouldn't be a loss to weep over.

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I woke up again, after falling asleep, to voices. In the room. My eyes flickered open to see Yuuki, Zero, and the Chairman.

I was kind of surprised that Zero of all people was here.

I bet Yuuki dragged him along.

She was still determined to prove that I had a crush on him. She was right, but I was also equally determined to make sure that she didn't prove it. If you could bet one million dollars on who would win this, I would put your money on me. I am very stubborn when I want to be.

Which isn't often. Because I'm a coward, remember?

"Aiko, you're up!" Yuuki said cheerfully, smiling at me. Something about her was starting to bug me. A lot. And I didn't think that it was the Zero-liked-her-better subject, either. I believe it was just that she was a generally annoying person.

"Wow, aren't you observant?" I asked flatly.

This must have been funny, because she cracked up laughing. I didn't know why.

"Well, we know she's feeling okay. She has that sarcastic sense of humor again." Zero said, looking even more bored than I did…but…his eyes held a different, alternate story.

One that suggested that he might have been concerned.

At that point, I was so tired, I didn't want to count on that little flare of hope I saw coming from his eyes. After all, I was still not completely focused on reality again.

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Well? Thoughts? Good? Bad?

Also…I'm going to have a lot less time to write…because I joined cross country like the smart person that I am. I can't even run. . But anyways…its going to consume most of my time.


	11. Hypocrite

Congratulations! If you're reading this, you obviously know that I don't own Vampire Knight! Because I don't!! Good for you! Have a cookie.

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"You get to come home today, Aiko! Aren't you excited?" Chairman asked me, smiling. Freak.

Home? How dare he call it home…it would never be home…not to me, anyways. It was school. Living at school. All of the time. I was slowly wasting away to nothing there. But, here wasn't so great either.

"Not really…" I replied honestly, looking at my hands. Most of my bandages and needles and such had been removed, slowly, bit by bit each day, until I looked like I did today. Which was definitely not a pretty sight. Well…on the bright side, I only looked HALFWAY dead…and at least I was alive, too. That was a good thing, wasn't it? No, not really…I shook my head. This was frustrating. I would have to go on, coping with the loss of my family…and live with the fact that it was my fault… I would have been lucky if death had welcomed me. But clearly, I was dragged away from it, kicking and screaming.

"You don't look that bad." He encouraged me, addressing a matter that I didn't really care about all too much.

"Eh." Was the only flat response he got, no enthusiasm at all.

Yuuki was sitting in the chair across from my hospital bed, holding a bag of the things that I'd needed here. Clean undergarments and such. There really wasn't a whole lot. Pretty soon a nurse would come in, and remove me from the machinery that monitored me, and tell me to get changed, right? That's what happened…right?

"Chairman-"

"Daddy."

"Right," I tried not to let on to the sarcasm in my voice. "What…happened exactly…that I wound up here?"

"You were attacked."

"Well, duh. I remember that part. What I don't remember is how I survived. I was unconscious for that…"

"Can we talk about this later, Aiko?"

"What's wrong with now?" I asked stubbornly, needing my answers.

"People can hear us, for one…" He gave me a serious look, the rare kind I almost never assumed I'd see from him. I sighed, defeated. This was not going well. Oh well. I'd squeeze it out some way or another…

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"Alright, we're alone now. Tell me." I supposed I was a little disrespectful, but…okay, so there wasn't a good but. Not one I could find. I leaned forward with my hands on his desk, looking at him. I felt like if I wanted to, I could have crushed that desk…if I focused really hard…no, probably not.

"I don't assume that you'll just forget about this whole thing?" He asked, exasperated.

"No," I said quickly, without hesitation. I was getting annoyed. Bad things happened when I got annoyed. There was a hot burning sensation in my back, and I forced it away. No. I would not deal with that now.

"Alright…" he took a deep, long breath, followed by a pause so silent I could hear my heartbeat ringing in my ears. "Well, the first thing I think you should know, is that Zero's a vampire."

I almost gagged. Not from disgust, but from shock. "Wait, he's a what?" I asked, making sure I'd heard right.

"You heard me just fine, Aiko." I sighed. I sure wished that I'd hadn't. There was no way…he was the one thing that he hated the most? So he was just one big hypocrite then? Okay, whatever. I could live with that…that didn't change anything.

Well if I had been a good hunter, it would have changed everything.

But I'm a coward, remember? Of course you do. Which makes me a pretty bad hunter. So…it didn't matter. Besides…I wasn't normal…However…this took away my even score with Zero.

I was winning. Good. I like winning. But I had a feeling that my secret was only a few words away… "Okay. So…what does this have to do with why I was in the hospital…"

"He smelled the blood right away, because he was the closest…" Okay, so far this story wasn't the nightmare that he'd made it seem like. "He recognized it as yours…you might not want to ask about that…" I didn't.

"And?"

"He disposed of your assailant immediately on scene…but…his own vampire won over him…and he took some himself." That time, I almost threw up. I looked away, and tried to keep myself calm. But my whole body was heating up rapidly, as if I was inside of a furnace…I groaned quietly. Everything felt like it was boiling hot…breathe.

Just breathe.

"Oh…" My voice shook a little, there were still so many questions in my life unanswered. I put my hand to my forehead, taking a step back.

"Are you alright?" Chairman asked, worriedly.

"Just fine," I said, in a choked whisper. So that was why Zero had been so worried about me at the hospital…if he was at all…because it was partially his fault. I felt sick. I ran out of the room, escaping. It had felt so cramped…as if the walls were closing in on me. Out here, in the cool dark hallways, I was safe. There was air. I could breathe.

I started back to my room, when I noticed Zero's door open a crack. I curiously peeked in, to see something I hadn't wanted to see…

Him, lying on his bed, with a gun- Bloody Rose to his head…and he was ready to shoot.

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I think I'll be cruel and stop here. : ) cliffhanger…so evil, I know…


	12. As Hell Freezes Over

_Dang…so turns out I couldn't do Cross Country after all because I didn't have my stupid physical done!! Sure, the one time I decide to do something for myself._

_-yawn- Its like 5:30 in the morning as I start this…_

I don't own Vampire Knight…blah blah blah….

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I don't think I could have run in there any faster. I used one of my own shoes to knock the gun from his hand, which was enough to startle him. No, normal people don't throw shoes at people. Then again, I'm not a normal person and this wasn't a normal circumstance a girl might find her Average-Joe crush doing. Then again to even compare Zero to an Average Joe was probably an insult. But isn't that what every girl would think about their love? Probably. Meh. I was getting myself confused. Which was a very easy thing to do, let me point out. But this certainly wasn't the time! I ran over to him, pinning him down on the bed. I supposed he could throw me off with one simple motion, quite effortlessly, too. But he didn't make any attempt to do such a thing, so I felt a sense of higher power, if only for a bit.

"What are you thinking?!" I cried, almost in tears. But no. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of crying in front of him. So I forced them back.

And he didn't satisfy me with an answer, either. Roar. Let him be that way. He looked down, not even able to look at me.

"I'm thinking that I'm a pretty horrible monster." He sighed, still not making eye contact.

"No…that's not necessarily true. You're a pretty good monster, actually. But that also doesn't by default make you a bad person as well." Maybe that was the wrong thing to say.

"How can you even say that to my face? And be serious. Aren't you a hunter? Than you kill me. Do it…"

"Well you know what? I'm not going to do it. I'm not your friendly everyday hunter. I HATE what I do. Killing anything is horrible in itself. I would never be able to live with myself if I killed you."

"You are a bad hunter aren't you?" He asked, coldly. That kind of hurt, hearing it from someone else.

"Yes I am. But I'd rather not hunt at all than kill a friend." I made him look me in the eyes, wondering if I could send 'I wish you were more' vibes. I tried. I don't think it worked.

"Get off of me, Aikido." He said, with a sigh.

I shook my head, "You just don't get it do you?" I got off of him and put my shoe back on.

"Get what?"

I sighed, trying not to scream, or get angry with him. Now wasn't the time. Instead of my original answer, the truth, I decided to give him an answer that was neither lie nor truth. "Exactly." I gave him a look, before picking up his gun, and leaving with it. Tch. Like you thought I would leave him with it. I let the tears fall, and I really didn't care who saw them as I walked back to my room. I put his gun in one of my drawers, hiding it under some shirts. If he decided to get it back, then he'd probably find it easily. I was a very predictable person. But maybe it would discourage him- just a little. Then again…maybe it wouldn't. I so wished that he'd gotten the hint. But…maybe I didn't. And I wasn't brave enough to just say it. Those little words would have been so easy. But he was probably still in love with his precious Yuuki. And who was I to interfere with that?

I sighed, a little set back by this whole ordeal. Why did I have to be in love with him? Why not some other, normal boy? And I'm not taking species either. I'm talking right in the head.

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I easily slid back into my prefect duties, against the Chairman and Yuuki's wishes. They told me not to start yet, and to take the day off. Um, no. I needed the distraction. There was too much going on, and I just didn't have the will to sit in my bed thinking. There was really nothing else I could do besides that. I was sure I'd missed quite a bit of school work, and I'd have to make it all up later. Later. Not now. Why would I do something so rational? That's a hard one, isn't it? I'd probably have to have supplementary classes for days to get back into the school rhythm again. I'd been in the hospital for nearly three weeks, or so I'd been told. I hadn't really had a sense of time when I was there. Sleep, eat, sleep, eat. I remembered having a shower or something of the sort as well. But other than that I'd been out cold for most of the time.

I sat outside on the edge of the fountain, listening to the water falling and splashing. It calmed me down, if nothing else…I heard footsteps and I stood up.

_Pretend to be looking around_

"Well if it isn't little Aiko!" I turned around to face Aidou, the last person on earth that I wanted to see. I glared at him, but he was smiling at me and didn't take the hint that I obviously didn't want him there.

"What are you doing here?" I spat at him, batting his hand away when he tried to touch my cheek. I stroked the gun that was just underneath my skirt, ready to pull it out if needed. "Get back to class!" I pointed in the way of the school building.

He sighed, before holding my hand down by my side, and stroking my cheek with his other hand. "Well aren't you cute?"

"Shut up!" I said, grabbing his wrist with my other hand. He shook it off and put his arm down around my waist, and pulled me into him.

"Stop it!" I said, in barely a whisper. I wasn't liking this at all. I hated how people always toyed around with me because I was too weak to fight back properly. I tried to reach for my gun, but his hand was holding it underneath my skirt. He knew it was there. I didn't know how or why, but he knew it was there. And he was preventing me from getting to it.

"No thanks, cutie." He cooed, licking my neck.

"Don't do it," I warned.

"I wasn't going to." He looked back at my face, confused, "I would never do that unless you wanted me to."

"Let go of me." I sighed, trying to push away.

He smirked, "You just aren't like the other girls, Aiko, are you?" He asked. Then he whispered into my ear, "Not even interested in me in the least."

"No. I'm not. So let go of me, and get back to class before I report you." I warned.

He sighed but ignored the comment. "Maybe that's why I want you so much." He held me tighter, and I started to struggle.

"If you don't let me go right now-"

"You'll do what? You wandered a bit far away from everyone else, now didn't you? I could kill you if I wanted to and nobody would even hear you scream."

I was getting very upset. I could feel the burning in my back…the prickling along the sides of my spine…

"Of course I wouldn't do that. I like you too much. You're very interesting. Not to mention that you taste just delicious."

"Shut up!" I cried, before using whatever energy I had to try and break free. No matter what I did though, it wasn't working. "You have to let me go! Right now!"

_Right. Now._

His hand snaked down my back a little further, and I used my hands to try and stop him. No matter what I did though, it just wasn't working.

"Now why would I do something like that?" Suddenly he smirked and kissed me. It was a long wet kiss, and I found myself crying. He'd forced my lips open now. Suddenly his fang pricked my tongue and I yelped, and he pulled away. He was still holding me though. He let me go, and backed up. "Good luck explaining that to Zero." He winked, and disappeared into the shadows. I swallowed the blood that had accumulated in my mouth.

_What could he possibly mean by…_

**I turned around to see Zero, standing at the edge of the woods. He'd seen the kiss. Oh, no. NO.**

"Zero, I--" _Oh, God, no._

He didn't listen. He turned and walked away silently.

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_I wrote the last half of this chapter after my boyfriend broke up with me DX so that's why it's a little depressing…but it'll turn out alright._

_Review please!!_


	13. Useful

Still don't own Vampire Knight.

Lol, ok so Aiko is a real name. And Aikido is also a real word. And neither of them are related at all. Shows how well I know things. I actually didn't intend on that happening.

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_Go after him…you need to go after him._

My feet, however, remained frozen to the spot. He'd seen it. And he probably wouldn't believe me anyways. Hot tears were running down my cheeks. Why did he have to have seen that, anyways? Why does life pick on me? I shook my head in frustration, wondering if Aidou had done it on purpose. I wouldn't doubt it. But I also didn't want to make wrong assumptions either. I so wanted to go after him, but I doubted that he'd even want to talk to me now.

Which brought me to this.

_Why did he care?_

_I didn't want to fill my heart up with false hope, only to have it broken open like a piñata and have all of the hope spill out like candy. But maybe he did care. Or maybe he just didn't like me with other vampires or something. Hypocrite. But who am I to label others anyways? I'm certainly in no position or situation to. Maybe he was just being Zero. No matter what the reason, he was upset, and I was automatically obligated to tell him the truth. I shook my head in embarrassment and frustration, before forcing myself to move forward. Left foot. Right foot. Left foot. Right foot. Slowly. Slowly. Left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot. Faster, now. I started to run. He'd only been walking, so maybe I could find him. Catch up to him. Tell him what happened._

_Or maybe not._

"_Aiko…?" I heard Yuuki ask me as I ran past her. Whatever. Then I saw him walking inside. I slowed myself down, almost tripping. I briskly hurried towards the building, keeping out of sight. _

_It was now or never, I decided. I had to face him. _

_I ran inside, catching up to him. "Zero!" I cried, trying to get him to turn around, as I stumbled up a stair._

_He turned around, and I ran to him, hugging him tightly and crying into his chest._

"_That wasn't…I didn't-"_

"_Stop it." He said coldly, pushing me away._

"_No! I didn't even want to do that!" I persisted on. The tears were just flowing now._

"_Forget it." He started to walk away. I wouldn't let him though. I grabbed his forearm._

"_He wouldn't let me go!" I choked out, trying so badly to get him to understand. He turned around and looked at me._

"_Why is it that you care so much?" He asked suddenly, hugging me back. My eyes widened._

"_Why is it that you were furious with me four seconds ago and now you act like nothing happened?"_

"_I wasn't angry with you."_

"_Then how come you were acting so strangely?"_

"_Because I was hoping you'd give up. I should have figured you wouldn't be so smart." Suddenly he let go, and grimaced, shutting his eyes in pain._

"_Zero…are you okay?" I asked, putting a hand on his shoulder. Well, no. Obviously not. He was…thirsty. He shook his head, and turned away._

"_Leave." He ordered._

"_No! I'm not going to leave you…" Stupid, but whatever. He was more important then my fear. He always has been. "Bite me."_

"_No…Aikido you don't know what you're saying…" He shut his eyes, almost begging for me to go away._

"_I know exactly what I'm saying." I looked at him with serious eyes. I might have been afraid. But that fear was not going to show._

_He put his hands on my shoulders, and leaned forward. I tried to keep my breathing steady, but it wasn't working out too well. _

"_I could never forgive myself…"_

"_Do it." I ordered. I wasn't going to deny him something that kept him out of pain._

_He couldn't control himself any longer. And he did it, against his will. I felt the fangs pierce my soft flesh…a feeling I hated so much. But somehow, that I knew it was him, it was worth it._

_A real vampire hunter would have killed him on the spot._

_But he wasn't a level E,_

_And my friendship with him was more important than my duty. I wasn't even sure if I was obliged to be a hunter anymore anyways. I didn't really care. I just stood there, with him holding me tightly, sucking my blood. Not necessarily a pleasant sight, I assumed._

_But at least I could do something for him._

_At least I wasn't useless._

_I dug my hand into his hair, and he was doing the same with mine. I wanted him to stop. It hurt, but it also felt…amazing too. I'm not sure why I didn't try to stop him. I don't know what held me from crying out. But I let him take what he needed, before he pulled away. He let me go, and took a step back. I expected this though. After all, he'd fought me about doing it in the first place. So why would I expect him not to be disappointed in himself for doing it._

"_Are you okay?" He mumbled._

"_Wh- oh yeah, I'm fine!" Truly, I was feeling kind of dizzy. _

_But he didn't need to know that._


	14. The Truth

_**Sorry. There may be some confusion in this chapter- and it really has nothing to do with Zero - and its not that important.**_

_**Its to clear up that confusion of Aikido/Aiko's…problem.**_

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"NIGHTSHADE!! OPEN UP, DANG IT!" I screamed, banging my hands against the door wildly.

I was ready to know the truth.

(Just so there's no confusion here…this is a series of flashbacks)

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_**10 YEARS OLD**_

"_Just come around when you want to know the truth, Aikido." Nightshade gave the ten-year old me a serious look. _

_But you couldn't expect a ten year old to really WANT to know what was going on with her body…I mean, hormones and body changes are mean enough! Even still at ten._

"_I don't want to know!" I shrieked, wanting away from this man. In my pocket was the bottle of little pills he'd give me. To 'help.' He'd said. But he was still a stranger at the time. Still just a creepy old man that came over my house sometimes to meet with my parents. They talked about things, too. Things I didn't quite comprehend. I'd listen in, sometimes, but could never make much of it. All I'd known is that they'd been talking about me._

_And my parents had sent me here. Sent me here to pick up my medication. The little pills I'd been taking for as long as I could remember. They were light purple in color, and fell to dust at a certain bit of pressure. At the time I would mix the dust with my water or food, to get it down. My parents had said they were for a rare disease. That I could only be normal if I had them. What was I supposed to do? I didn't know why I took them, or…anything really. _

_I ran away from this man…back outside to my parents waiting car._

_**13 YEARS OLD**_

_I smiled. Today I was a teenager. Today I was-- well, still in the process of being on strike against my pills. I'd go into the bathroom to take them, because I could swallow them now. I was proud of even this little accomplishment. My parents didn't know- they just assumed they'd given me enough warnings about not taking them. Even though I wasn't sure what they did. I would crush them to powder in the sink, and wash it down._

_This was my angst phase as well, with all of your typical teenage problems. Well…pretty typical. If you forgot the whole vampire hunting thing. And the vampire hunting thing had been giving me a whole bunch of physiological problems…I was depressed, full of angst, and ready to die myself. Like the very things I was being trained to hunt. I'd killed one already…which was trauma. That's the only way to describe it when you kill something… something that was alive. Well…sort of alive. Were vampires alive? I'd always thought so._

_Suddenly there was a sharp pain down my back, like something I'd never felt before. I fell to the floor, in shock. My family that was gathered for my small little birthday party all looked to me in concern. I ran into the bathroom, and looked at myself in the mirror. Blood was being soaked up by my shirt…and dripping down my back…and there was still a sharp, searing pain. I yelped, ignoring the cries from my parents outside. "Open the door, Aikido!" _

_I pushed the door closed, although I knew it was in vain. Anyone in my entire family line could break down this door if they so pleased. I ripped off my shirt….and then felt indescribable pain…but it only lasted for a second…_

_Then my mom had gotten the door open, and was leaning down by my side._

"_It's alright, Aiki," She used my nickname, "Are you sure you don't want to know?"_

_I looked at myself in the mirror. Coming from my back were two, very large wings. One the color of fresh fallen snow, and the other the color of a starless night. I didn't want to know what was wrong with me. I never did._

"_No." I said miserably._

"_Don't worry, Aiki…it only bleeds the first time."_

_As if that was reassuring._

_//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////_

END OF FLASHBACK…

"I'm coming, I'm coming, Aikido." Nightshade was unlocking his door. I could hear the series of clicks. Finally, he got it open. "What is it?"

I walked right inside, making myself at home. I sat on the couch. He relocked his door behind us. I couldn't help but notice the patched bullet holes in his door. I flinched.

"Can I help you?" He asked, "You can't possibly need more medicine already." This was Nightshade. The fantasy-creature thing pharmacist. He obviously had to do it in secret though, or the police would get the wrong idea about his goods.

"Yes…what AM I, exactly…what are you?" We were the same thing….Nightshade had trained me at 14 to use the wings a little bit more to my advantage, although I'd disagreed strongly.

"So you finally want to know, eh?" He gave me a crooked smile, before standing up and removing his shirt. His own wings came out in a flash, and his face showed know sign of pain. Not like mine.

"We aren't quite angels. We aren't quite demons. We aren't…really anything. We're in limbo, still, Aikido. Our kind are few and far apart. There isn't an official name for what it is that we are. We keep ourselves secret."

I admired his glossy wings. Mine were still rather scruffy. Well, not admired them exactly. I hated being what I was. But hey, if I'm going to be a freak…might as well be a pretty freak, right? Not a scruffy little weak runt of the litter that looks worse for wear.

"But we think it might be some sort of demon/angel combination…but if you really need something to call yourself…we're probably demons. Angel is too fluff of a word. Angels don't go through random transformations at the drop of a hat. They have more control. But demons…tend to lose control…even more so. There hasn't been much research on us. Which is how we want it to stay."

"Of course…I mean…I can only imagine…the… 'scientific' things that they would want to do…"

"Oh, no, I don't think they'd do that unless we offered. We are endangered, after all."

I nodded. Not quite the explanation I had wanted to hear.

"What if…I hadn't stopped taking the pills?" I asked, carefully. I shifted on the couch, and he retracted his wings.

"Then eventually, it might have passed completely. Then again, it might not of." He sat back down on the couch, shirt back on. He sighed.

"What exactly is in those pills?" I questioned.

"I don't think you want to know."

"Tell me."

"Why do you ask so many questions?"

"Because you taught me to."

"Alright. Fine. But I don't think you really want to-"

"Just tell me."

He sighed. "Fine. The main ingredient is… vampire blood."

If I had been drinking anything, I would have spit it out. "What?!"

"I told you that you didn't want to know…"

"But…why?"

"It's the only thing that works…don't quite understand why, though. Maybe its just…symbiotic or something. Our blood is a delicacy among vampires…that's why there are so few of us today. Constant vampire attacks. Why do you think I stay locked up in here all of the time? I suppose we were meant to be somewhat of the opposite to vampires. I believe that we were supposed to share blood. Our blood has similar effects to a purebloods. It can save Level Es. And in turn, we would take their blood to remain hidden. But…they abused the code we'd had with them. They abused us, and just let it work one way." He sighed, troubled.

I finally understood. Nightshade was the real coward here. He was weak. Even weaker than I was. Now the question was…why? Suddenly he stood me up, and dragged me up with him.

He shook me by the shoulders.

"Listen, Aikido. You have to stop taking that medicine."

_//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////_

_Okay. So maybe that was a really bad idea. But…oh well… :D reviews appreciated!_

_If I entirely ruined the story, please tell me. _


	15. Contemplation

I don't own vampire knight…blah blah blah… Lol yay I figured out how to use the divider thingy!!! XD

* * *

"I know. But, Aikido...they're killing you. They're making you weaker bit by bit...because of the part that creates the...well...what makes it so much like powder. What makes it actually a pill." Nightshade said sadly, "I'm sorry." That was something he almost never said. "I didn't figure this out until recently."

"But…then what am I supposed to do?" I asked, almost screaming.

"Drink vam-"

"What?! No!" I screeched.

He stood up, and pushed my hair from beside my face. "You've been bitten yourself." He said flatly. "I don't suppose of your own will."

"Of course not!" I batted his hand away. ANOTHER lie. I was getting good at that. Too good. "How are they killing me?" I mumbled.

He sighed, "This really isn't the kind of thing that's easy to explain to a-"

"A WHAT, Nightshade. I don't care that I'm only a teenager, I really, really don't. Half of me is still…demon…thing, whatever. That's the half you have to tell. Not the teenager." I felt my vision getting fuzzy, and that warm prickly sensation in my back.

It only happened when I got upset. Or…randomly even. I didn't think there was a real reason for it.

"You're right, of course," he ruffled my hair. I could only stand my ground and look at him with the most adult expression that I could. "It's just…well…breaking down your vital organs…very slowly."

"And what was so hard to tell me about that?" I asked, almost growling.

"Nothing. But I knew you wouldn't listen to me anyways. Go on…just take the pills. Die when you're forty. The truth is…I'm near my own destruction."I ran out of his house, insanely lost and confused in my own cage of thorns and torment.

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

As soon as I got home I took my pills. What? You didn't expect me to really listen to him…did you? Maybe you did. Well…of course I wasn't going to listen to him. And I also wasn't going to drink vampire blood. For one, my teeth were not meant to penetrate skin. For two…that was just disgusting. And for three…um, NO. Why on earth would I do something so silly? Then again, that's all I'd been basically doing for the past few years…just…in pill form. Ew. Gross. I wondered how many vampires had been drained for just Nightshade's purpose. I shuddered, not wanting to know the answer to that.

I was beginning to wish that I hadn't refused my pills at thirteen. Then my wings would be safe…it might have even passed by now. Then I never would have had to know this. None of this would have happened.

Maybe I shouldn't take the pills after all.

But that would also require my leaving Cross Academy.

Which would require running away.

Which was something I was willing to do.

I wondered if Zero would even notice that I was gone.

Probably not.

* * *

Sorry for the short chapter…it will be longer next time, I promise.


	16. Just A Little Further

Nope…still don't own Vampire Knight.

* * *

Leaving physically would be easy.

Leaving emotionally would not be so easy.

I had only a small backpack of what I would need.

And the remainder of the money I'd stolen from my parent's drawers when they'd died.

As I stood in front of my door, I could feel the fear resonating from me. I didn't think I'd make it very long out there. After all, I was leaving my gun and vampire hunting equipment behind. I was expecting to die. In fact, you could say that I almost wanted to. Almost. There were too many things in this life that kept me hanging on by a thread. Zero.

_Zero._

_No. He doesn't care for me. I couldn't think of him. No. I wouldn't think of him. It's not like it mattered to him what happened to me. Not even a little bit. I wouldn't cling to that tiny fleeting hope that he did. It fluttered away like fall leaves. _

It was late at night. Everyone would be asleep. There wouldn't be anyone to stop me. And no one would want to stop me anyways. They all wanted me gone. Except maybe Yuuki and the Chairman. But I really didn't count them.

I had to move forward.

I opened the door.

I looked both ways down the hallway. No one was there, as I'd expected. I let out a tiny sigh of relief. What was there to be relieved about? Really, nothing.

I don't know what I was hoping for. But I think that I was almost hoping that someone would stop me. I was hoping for someone to hug me and tell me not to- BEG me not to. I knew that my wants were unreasonable and unreachable. As they always were. I left my door shut, and I'd made a note to leave the radio on. Make people think I was still in there. For a little while it would work. I wouldn't take the pills. But…that would also require me to stay away from civilization.

All the pills did for me was keep my wings at bay so I could interact in social situations normally, without them threatening to break free. Maybe I'd just take them on occasion. I didn't expect to live until forty anyways.

Where would I go, though?

It wasn't like Nightshade would take me in.

Or…maybe he would.

We would both be hermits, secluded from the world, calling friends to do our grocery shopping. He would be my make-shift father, like I'd always thought of him as. We would laugh together as he died from those stupid little pills. We would be crying and laughing, both at once. I'd be making jokes. He'd tell me about some fortune he'd been hiding. Maybe he was a pirate. Now there was a thought. But somehow I could never picture Nightshade outside of his little apartment. Maybe then I'd lock myself in there. I'd get a cat. I'd carry on his non-human private pharmacy legacy.

And I'd never have to see Zero again. I could live my life selling medication to shady half-human things, all wanting to live normal lives. With my cat. Maybe I'd name my cat Two.

Or maybe not.

Yes, This is what I would do.

I was sure Nightshade would take me in.

As I walked through the school grounds, I was really hoping I wouldn't come across Zero or Yuuki. I'd had the night off, luckily. However…if I ran into one of them…everything would be killed. My thoughts of leaving? Crushed. I was in a hurry…and any minute now I should be safe again, because they never patrolled out this far. That's what I'd been hoping for.

I was leaving exclusively on selfish reasons. Because I was a coward. You see, I could have just asked to join the Night Class…sure I was no vampire, but…at least my little 'problem' would be normal to them. Well…more normal than if my wings decided to come out in Day Class presence…but that would require telling and showing the Chairman about my problem. And who knows who he'd tell? Probably no one, if I told him why. But why take risks? I was a coward. Cowards don't take risks.

Almost there…just a little further. Just a little further. Everything was always just a little further.

Zero, for example, would be just a little further out of my reach. Always. No matter how much I tried to get to him…he'd always be just so much away from me. Because his ties with Yuuki were so strong…

"Where are you going, Aikido?" Oh, it figures. Of course he would catch me. Of course, of course, of course. Why would I expect anything less?

"That's none of your business," I turned around, after taking a deep breath. I was rather fed up with him.

"Actually, considering that I'm supposed to be guarding the school, it really is my business." Stupid logic. I hate logic.

"Well, that's too bad then." I turned back around, only to feel a hand grab my shoulder.

"Aikido." He said sternly.

"Why can't you just call me Aiko, like the rest of the world thinks that I am?" I yelled, kind of louder than I would have liked.

"Because that's not who you are to me. You aren't Aiko, and you know that. You can pretend to be someone else all you want. But it doesn't work when you told me the truth." He had me pinned against a tree with two simple movements. "You were leaving." His eyes narrowed.

"So what if I was?" I asked, not looking into his eyes.

"Why?" He asked. At least our tones had died down a little bit.

"I can't tell you that."

I felt his grip tighten. "Why?" He asked me again, softer this time.

"Because I'm a coward!" I raised my voice, and held the tears back.

All this time…all of this time I'd been telling myself that I was a coward. But nothing had ever felt so good next to telling someone else. Personal confession was finally out.

"You…think that you're a coward, Aikido?" He let out a soft, serious sort of chuckle. "You let me drink from you, knowing it would cause nothing but harm to you, for my benefit nonetheless, and you have the nerve to say that you're a coward?"

Wow. No one had ever put it that way… "Because I am a coward. I ran. When I should have fought beside my parents. I'm running now because I'm afraid of myself."

"No one expects you to be made of stone."

"No one expects you to be made of stone either." I retorted. He slid the backpack off of my arm.

"Believe me. I'm hardly made of stone." He said, getting closer and holding me tighter. "And neither are you. You can't hate yourself for running away. You did what you had to in order to survive. Your parents would have wanted that, don't you think? So stop being such a perfectionist."

I was very uncomfortable with the proximity of our bodies.

"I'm not-"

"Don't even bother denying it, alright? I don't even want to hear it…you might not be a coward, and you might not be made of stone, but if there's one thing you are…it's stupid." Wow. There was a shock…but why was I stupid all of the sudden?

"Stupid how?" I asked, wondering whether to be insulted or not.

"For not seeing what I've been trying to tell you." He said softly, getting a little closer. "Don't you think I see the way you look at Yuuki? You…well you look at her with such hate in your eyes…I have to say it scares even me. And…I think I've finally figured out why."

"I get it, Zero. I'm jealous. You don't have to say it."

"Now the question I'm trying to figure out is…why?"

"_Because you're in love with her!"_ I said a little too loudly, before letting a solitary tear slide down my cheek.

* * *

I am evil!! With my fancy cliffhangers and whatnot...

okay so it wasn't exactly a cliffhanger...

but oh well.

It still leaves you with questions, right?


	17. You're Better

WARNING: A little OOC-ness here…

* * *

"_Because you're in love with her!"_

"Aiki-"

"No. Don't finish it, alright? I just…don't want to hear it." I put my hands up in the air, frustrated.

He gave me a stone cold look, that told me I should let him finish his sentence. "You really, honestly think that?" He asked, sounding exasperated.

"I know that." I said softly, hoping maybe he wouldn't hear it.

Of course, I had no such luck.

"I don't 'love Yuuki' as you come to claim. Haven't you seen her look at Kaname? I suppose that I might have…but, I've realized that she isn't worth it anymore. Sure, she's pretty, smart, cute, funny, and a million other things but…she'll never feel that way about me." He was still looking at me, who was looking at the ground.

I couldn't utter a word. My thoughts were all scrambling around in my head like pin-balls, trying to find a place to take refuge in. "Let me go…" I finally managed to get out.

He just held me tighter. "No…I'm not done yet. You, Aikido…" he pushed a strand of my hair behind my ear. I shook it free again, and he let out a stiff sigh. "You're lovely, independent, warm, loyal, loveable…and you're brave. You're not a coward, Aikido."

I looked up at him, my eyes as wide as dinner plates. Who was this and what had he done with Zero? "What are you saying?" I said, looking to one side.

"That you aren't Yuuki."

"There's a shock." I said in a light sort of manner, trying to lighten the mood.

"And you have to stop comparing yourself to her."

"Who said I-"

"It's an insult to yourself. You are nothing like her."

There was a long pause of infinite space and silence. One that made me tremble a little.

Then…the words I'd been wanting to here all of this time.

"You're better, Aikido."

"No…stop!" I cried. "You need to stop trying to make me feel better. You can't just pretend like you don't love her just because I'm feeling horrible. You can fix things that way. You can't lie to make me feel better about myself…"

He squeezed my wrists tightly.

"What is it going to take to make you understand, Aikido? You don't know how frustrating its getting because nothing's working! Nothing I do or say you can ever believe. You're just so convinced that everything's wrong with you, and that good things don't happen to you." His voice was getting a little more raised now. I flinched. "You never stop and think for just once, that someone can actually show you that they do care. No matter what I do, it's not enough. You're just so stupid sometimes. You just…can't comprehend that I LOVE YOU, DAMMIT!" Ouch. He was squeezing my wrists really hard now, cutting the circulation off.

I looked at the ground, in confusion. No…it just…wasn't possible.

"At least Yuuki's normal." I said quietly.

He let out a long, frustrated sigh. "Stop. Comparing yourself to her!" He said, getting slightly worked up. "What could possibly be so wrong with you, besides the fact that you're a complete idiot?"

"I fell in love with you, didn't I?" I began to cry, and I felt him wipe a tear away.

I didn't think he was expecting that. "Maybe there is something wrong with you. I bit you. I drank your blood. I'm a monster. Yet I can't keep myself away from you, still."

"If there's something wrong with that, I don't want it fixed." I looked up into his eyes, and he looked rather taken aback.

This moment was so right. Aside from the fact that he was holding me against a tree. Aside from the fact that my hands were going numb. Aside from the fact that it was bitter cold out. Aside from the fact that I had been ready to run away. And aside from that fact that Yuuki was standing all of fifty feet away.

"Maybe this is a bad time…" Yuuki interrupted.

I felt like yelling, "YES YUUKI THIS IS A BAD TIME. GO AWAY." But I didn't. Zero's gaze shot to her instantly. Well…there goes the precious moment.

"What?" I asked, in a slightly irritated tone.

"Um…never mind…" she almost cracked a smile before scampering off into the trees. I felt my face going completely bright red. I felt like my body temperature had rose a thousand degrees. I felt my legs start to give out from underneath me, and I started to slide downwards.

Zero had let go upon seeing Yuuki, so I had no support left to hold me up. His gaze returned to me when she was gone, and he held out a hand. I took it, and he helped me stand up again. I fell into him for support.

When I finally managed to stay upright again, Zero was looking at me almost interested.

"Are you alright?" He asked.

"Just fine…" I said, truthfully for once.

"Don't run away." He pulled me into a tight hug, and showed no signs of letting go soon.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

"You didn't sleep last night, did you?" Zero asked, pulling me aside in the hall. His voice was quiet, and he sounded concerned.

"I'm going to be late…" I said embarrassed.

"I don't care. Answer the question…" He shook his head.

"Why does it matter to you?" I asked shyly, embarrassed to even be talking to him.

"I told you why it matters." He said, pressing me against a wall. Gosh, why'd he always have to go and do that.

"We're going to be late, Zero…" I gasped, feeling as if all of my air had been taken from my lungs.

"I already told you…I don't care."

And then he kissed me.

And I found myself kissing him right back.

* * *

Another Chapter...yaaaaaay. Not really. XD but yeah...might not be uploading for a couple days.


	18. How to Get Caught Ditching Class

…Yeah…

More OOC-ness here…it's not that unbelievable though

…Just thought I'd warn you.

But…I personally like it better that way…

I don't own Vampire Knight

P.S. I lied...lol it hasn't even been 24 hours.

XD

* * *

"Let's skip class…" Zero whispered in my ear.

My eyes widened. "W-what?" I asked, a little shocked. Why was he acting like this all of the sudden?

"Do you want to go or not?" Still just whispered, yet his eyes were looking at me carefully, almost in a tight glare. Daring me not to.

I brought my books up to my chest and drummed on them with my fingers. This had bad idea written all over it. "Why?" I asked, putting my chin on the top of my books.

The bell rang.

I was late. But…I'm sure you figured that out by the bell ringing, no?

Dang.

"Because we're already late…and it will be suspicious if we both just come in at the same exact time. Do you really want people to know?"

I shook my head in response.

No way I wanted people to know about this.

"Won't it be more suspicious if we just don't show up?" I asked.

"I skip class all of the time…it's not that unusual." He said.

"I don't." I said stubbornly.

"I can make you."

"I dare you." I said, giving him a skeptical look.

He sighed, and took hold of my wrist in an iron grip. I wasn't getting out of this one. I let out a long sigh. "Alright, fine…I'll ditch this once." He was so hard not to give into…Or maybe I was just weak. Probably B. I let out a long sigh. "But…why are we skipping again?"

"Because we can." Wow. Because THAT said a lot…

"We shouldn't though." I argued.

"The more time we spend here arguing the better the chance is of us getting caught." He said, softer now but more urgently.

He started to walk, and expected me to follow. I did, but because I sort of wanted to. This was new to me. I'd never felt so strongly about one individual before. So here I was, finding myself gravitating towards him, being invisibly pulled along. A teacher almost saw us, but we managed to hide in a random closet as she walked past. We figured we'd stay in there a bit longer, just in case. It was dark, cramped, and had a strange musty odor.

"Should we leave now?" I asked in a hushed tone.

"Not just yet…" I felt myself wrapped in Zero's arms in the dark. I put my books on what I assumed to be a shelf, and we just stood there, in the awkward little empty sort of moment where…its everything but empty…but it feels that way because you have no words to describe it. Does that make sense? No…it probably doesn't.

But when you're in love…does anything make sense?

He turned me around so I was looking up at him. Well…not really, since it was so dark I couldn't see anything a centimeter in front of my face…although my eyes were starting to adjust a little better, and some light was shining through from under the door. Suddenly I felt him shudder. One of his hands shot up to my head, and pushed my face into his chest. His hands tangled into my hair, and I felt his breathing quicken. It took my brain a minute to process what was happening. He's thirsty, you idiot.

"Aikido…" he whispered. I forced myself to look up to him, to see his eyes glowing a ruby red color that scared me, and I froze. "You shouldn't be…this close."

I could have snorted, had the situation been different. Its not like I really had a choice to be this close to him. I knew he was using every ounce of his strength to fight the inevitable. He wanted to let me go…but didn't want to. Inner conflicts suck, don't they? I sighed. "I won't abandon you…" I whispered. "Just do it…if you need to."

He was still fighting. But he wouldn't be able to keep it up much longer. He'd give in any minute now, I assumed. I felt him kiss me, with force behind it. It was rougher than the last time. I wasn't comfortable with this. I was scared. His tongue was in my mouth now, and I felt one of his fangs pierce my lower lip. He licked it up in a heartbeat, and his mouth slowly trailed from my mouth and down my neck…and then there was that strange, bitter-sweet pleasure of a vampire bite…

"Zero…" I moaned softly.

He pulled away, "Why do you keep letting me do that?" He asked in a harsh whisper

"Because you need to…" I said softly.

"That's a horrible reason."

"No, its not!" I argued, feeling a little woozy now.

"Are you okay?" He asked suddenly, before hugging me again.

"I'm just fine…" I lied. Again. I was clearly a horrible person. Lying so much…gosh!

He sighed, and let me go, and handed my books.

And then, the doorknob turned.

And the door opened.

And we were standing face to face with none other than the school janitor


	19. From Roses To Thorns

The janitor ratted us out.

I officially hate school janitors.

"Zero, Aiko, may I ask what were you doing in a utility closet?" Chairman asked, sounding shocked and astonished.

Neither one of us had the guts to answer him honestly. The Chairman had already noticed the marks on my neck though, something the janitor had thankfully overlooked. Or it could have been the blood on my clothes. Who knows? It was probably both.

"On second thought…Zero, why were you drinking from her?" The Chairman changed the topic to that oh so dreaded question. He looked at the floor uncomfortably, not willing to answer that question. He was still ashamed, no doubt.

"Because he needed it." I said bluntly. It was my fault, after all…and I wasn't going to shy away when Zero needed me to say something- anything to save him. "I offered, willingly." Zero looked at me, shocked I'd tell him the truth. He might have been expecting me to blame him. And the look on his face told me that he'd have rather had me blame him. He might be feeling guilty, but I didn't want him to take the blame. Kaname was in the room as well, the janitor long gone.

Suddenly there was that prickling sensation, strong and overwhelming. It had never been this strong before. But I also hadn't taken my pills since…well…it had been a while. I swallowed the growing lump in my throat.

"I trust you knew what you were doing, Aiko…but I just can't put you at risk." Now I was beginning to get angry with him. And there was the prickling in my back, more pronounced now.

"I'm not at any risks, Chairman, in all due respect sir. I can make him stop whenever I want, Chairman. Understand I might not be the greatest hunter in the world, but I do know my way around the block." No, no, no. I couldn't put up with that stupid feeling of the wings threatening to break through again. I felt my face flushing, and the room was getting hot. Burning up to a million degrees.

"Of course you do, Aiko, and I believe that. But as Chairman it is my duty to protect my students. And although I've take you in…you're still my student…and I have to protect your well being."

I was starting to get upset now…really, legitimately (I hate that word) upset. I thought I was going to pass out it was so hot.

"Aiko…are you alright?" Zero mumbled to me.

"N-no…I…n-need to sit down…" I stumbled towards the chair, nearly falling over.

"Do you see what it's doing to you?" Kaname asked me seriously. I'd almost forgotten that he was there.

"It's NOT THAT!" I screamed at him, running short on breath. I fell out of the chair, on all fours. Zero was at my side at this point, and his hand was on my arm, trying to help me stand up. I was going to lose it. Here, nonetheless, in front of the Chairman, Kaname…and Zero.

Zero would probably hate me because I wasn't human. I swallowed the growing lump, and felt the wings coming from the skin…sharp…searing pain…it was too late now though…I couldn't stop it. I yelped as I felt them break through my shirt, and the tears streamed down my face, unable to be contained any longer. I could feel six eyes on me now, three sets, all staring in astonishment. Because I was like nothing they'd ever seen before. I was not human nor vampire. I was a freak…an ugly, lost, lonely freak. I stood up hastily, and looked at their faces. I started to cry harder.

"Aiko- what…are…you exactly?" The Chairman asked, collecting himself.

I was sobbing too hard to answer. Zero was about a foot away from me, and I could feel his eyes burning into me. I thought I might spontaneously combust under the pressure. "Don't look at me like that!" I cried, trying to pull the wings back in. They weren't listening to me though. They were remaining out…and I couldn't do anything about it because I was too frustrated. I was too worked up over this…ugh!

"Don't hate me…" was all I could manage out.

I was talking to Zero, and only Zero. I didn't care what Chairman or Kaname thought about it. Zero squeezed my hand. He gave me a look that told me it didn't matter…a look that was almost sad. Like he wished that I'd told him sooner. I couldn't blame him, really.

"Zero…could you please leave the room?" Chairman asked quietly, gently.

Zero glared at him, but left anyways…hesitantly though.

"Aiko…you clearly don't have this problem contained. What would happen if it happened during your classes, hmm?"

"I wouldn't let it get that far. I'd run into the bathroom and pretend to be sick." I thought of an on the spot answer.

"Aiko…that may not always work, you know." Chairman continued. "I think it would be in everyone's best interest if you transferred to the Night Class."

"W-what?!" I cried, astonished. "No…but I'm not a vampire!"

"But you aren't human either. And I'm pretty sure you don't need to be seen by humans, am I correct?"

"But…I-" I couldn't let this happen.

"Aiko…it's in everyone's best interest if you just do this." Kaname gave me a stern look.

"You can move in tomorrow morning…we'll have your room ready. Meanwhile…we have some paperwork to file."

"What? No…but I can't just…" I struggled to find words. None came though. "Its not like I'm a danger to anyone!"

"No one but yourself."


	20. There's a First Time For Everything

So…I handwrote most of this chapter in school like the bad seed that I am…lol, enjoy.

I dont own Vampire Knight...

* * *

"But Chairman, I-" he wasn't realizing that putting me in the Night Class would put me in more trouble. Putting me in danger, even. Vampires had wiped my species of demon out before we even had a name. It had remained dormant in my family's gene pool, though. I wondered why it had resurfaced in me, and not my dead sister Anri. Luck of the draw, I suppose. Too bad it's hardly something to consider lucky.

"Aiko. Drop the subject. No more arguing."

Not only would I be in danger, but everyone in the Night Class would be unsettled. We'd been wiped out because of our sinful blood. Nightshade and I just might be the only ones left. And Nightshade wasn't going to last much longer, according to himself. The Nightshade I'd always known had been healthy and young, always a con artist. He must be in his mid thirties, by now. I'd just never been able to think of him as old before. But why would I? He wasn't old at all. He was possibly 35...37...39...somewhere in that general range. …40.

"But Chairman, I-"

"Aiko, no more!" Kaname ordered forcefully.

That was Sakura to him. I refused to allow Kuran to call me by my first name, even if it was only my fake one. However he intimidated me too much to argue with him. Coward sense tingling. Again. Hell, I'm not Spiderman. I'm no hero, either. I had just finally managed to retract my wings back in, with a soft moan as they morphed back into my flesh. "Nnn!" I flinched, in pain, and shut my eyes tight. My skin settled once again, and I managed to open my eyes, hesitantly. Kaname and Cross were staring at me intently. Like I was a zoo animal. A freak. I was very uncomfortable with their eyes on me constantly. I wanted to hide and escape…anywhere away from their eyes. But wherever I moved to…their eyes would always be following me. I had the tears to prove my pain, and claim my prize.

"Aiko, are you alright? Cross asked in a concerned parental sort of way. It just might have comforted me, had he not been the initial cause of my internal suffering. Well…it might have comforted me a little bit.

"No! Chairman…I can't switch to the Night Class!" I protested weakly. I knew it was a wasted attempt. But I persisted onwards. I wasn't going to sit back and let this happen. There was no way.

"Sakura!" The Chairman snapped. Oh…wonderful now he was angry with me. I didn't flinch.

"What?!" I cried, disrespectfully. The worst he could do was disown me. Which I would be completely okay with at this point. I didn't care about respect. Why should I? I was very irritated with the men before me right now, and they didn't deserve anything more than for me to spit on their food. I wondered if there was a way I could do that without getting caught…

I had two options.

Option 1: I let this all happen, and transfer to the Night Class, no questions asked.

Pros:…People in the Day Class despised me anyways

Cons: I wouldn't get to see Zero almost ever, he'd hate me…

Mmkay so the cons outweighed the good on option 1.

And option 2: I fight this until the very end, and if worst comes to worst, I tell the Chairman why I can't transfer.

Pros: I get to stay with Zero, Zero doesn't hate me

Cons: I have to reveal my history

…Option 2 was one I really didn't like. But I hated option 1 even more.

Or there was option 3, my personal favorite: Storm out of room, and execute original plan of running away.

Pros:…I don't have to deal with any of this ever again

Cons: I probably never see Zero again. But maybe that's for his own good anyways.

"Sakura!" Kaname began to yell at me. When he did it, I flinched. Now Kaname…him I was afraid of. Very afraid. "Respect!"

"No!" I argued back, standing my ground for once in my life. "I'm human! I'm not a vampire, I don't hurt people…"

"Sakura, drop it!" Cross yelled at me, standing up leaning over with his hands on his desk.

I had never pictured him yelling at me before.

"Then let me stay in the Day Class!" I had never been this assertive before…I liked it. It gave me power…it made me feel omnipotent, in a way. I took a deep breath, so as to try and hold back my wings from sprouting out again. I was failing miserably at that, too. Except, I wasn't going to give up. I would just have to hold them back. Why give them the satisfaction of proving that I WAS at danger of exposing myself?

"Aiko…we can't let you do that…"

"Why not?! Zero's in the Day Class!"

"Zero has self control."

"No more than I do."

Cross sighed, defeated. "Alright, alright…for now you can stay in the Day Class…but we'll be watching you, too. If even one thing should go wrong…"

"I know, I know." On the inside I was smiling. I'd won something, for once.

And all of this because I stood up for myself.


	21. You Deserve Better

Sadly, that hadn't been the end of the conversation. Just as I was about to make my triumphant exit, like they do in the movies…

"Now about your punishment for skipping classes."

"But…Zero does it all the time!"

"And being in an off-limits area, as well."

Damn. Well, he had me there…

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Supplementary classes for a week. Not as harsh I was expecting, at least. And we couldn't go to one of the school dances that was on Friday, not even just to guard. Besides, it didn't even need to be guarded. Watched over would be a better word to use. Words. I hadn't planned on going, anyways. So…that didn't really bother me too much. I don't think that Zero had been planning to go either. Well, obviously. He's not exactly a party type of guy. It was strictly Day Class only. Not even one of the major formal events…just a cheap little get together in the gym.

I sighed as I walked back to my room Friday afternoon. Yuuki was upset with me, since I couldn't go to the dance. She'd been planning to tag along with me, as friends of course, just so she could whisper to me about how much she was in love with Kaname. Oooh, that would have been fun. Um, no…that would have been torture, that's what.

I saw Zero walking a little ways ahead of me.

He'd kind of been avoiding me since…my little incident. I didn't want to upset him more by talking to him either. He hated me now…that was pretty darn clear. But…I needed some sort of closure…some actual outright response that he hated me. I was a freak. And…I wasn't human. And clearly that bothered him more than I would have liked.

I caught up to him, grabbing one of his shoulders.

"Zero…"

He brushed me off and kept on walking.

"Zero, please! At least…just talk to me!" I cried, upset.

He sighed and turned to me. "What is it, Sakura?"

I swallowed the gathering lump in my throat. He couldn't even call me by my real last name. That's how upset he was at me. I tried to force the tears back…but it just wasn't working. There were people around now though…

"Please…I just want to talk to you, okay?" I pulled him aside, behind a tree. He started to move away, but I grabbed his arm. "Just talk to me this once…and hate me forever if you want to." I put my books down on the ground. "Just please talk to me this last time, okay? I don't deserve a lot, I know. But I think I deserve that much."

"Why didn't you tell me before this?" He was getting fed up with me now. Good. Let him.

"Why, so you never would have told me you loved me in the first place?!" I felt the tears sliding down my cheeks. Hell, I hate crying.

"So I would have been ready when you just go and sprout wings!"

"This is why I didn't want to tell you!" I screamed, shutting my eyes tight. Suddenly my voice dropped down to a pianissimo. "I didn't want you to hate me because…I'm not entirely human."

"Why did you have that silly notion that I'd hate you?!" He asked, quietly. He was upset and frustrated with me. And disappointed…and…well there were other words too.

"Because you hate purebloods so much that…well…" I didn't want to finish that statement.

"Don't even compare yourself to them, Aikido. You deserve better than that. And that's why you deserve better than me."

"Shut up." I said simply, sniffling. "Maybe I do deserve better, but you know what? I'm perfectly happy with what I have." He looked at me, surprised I'd just said that.

"Don't look so shocked, Zero." I caught my breath. "I only want you. You can try to hate me and get rid of me all you want…but…I'm never going to care. I'm not going to suddenly change my feelings one morning. So please…just don't…hate me like this…"

I felt the tears coming as he walked away.

When he was out of sight, I fell to my knees and sobbed.


	22. Something's Wrong Here

"Nightshade…?" I knocked on his door for the hundredth time. He had to be there…he never left.

Ever.

Ever.

EVER.

Something was definitely wrong here. I listened through his wall hard, trying to figure out if maybe…well…he was taking a shower or something and couldn't hear me. But I didn't hear the water going.

I tried the handle, assuming it would be in vain because of how he always locked up his door so tight. I sighed, and turned the handle and pushed forwards…

And it opened.

It opened.

Something was wrong here.

Something was very, very wrong…

My heart stopped beating, as I looked around his living room. Empty…

Kitchen. Empty. I looked in the fridge, and was surprised to find an absolutely horrid smell. I slammed the door shut, and held my nose. Something had gone bad in there. Clearly, days ago. I felt my eyes watering a little.

I'd only come here in the first place to try and get my mind off of everything…well, mostly of Zero. But he was my everything…so…technically…

Bathroom…empty. It appeared like no one had used it for a few days…the sink and bathtub were completely dry, as well as the hanging towels.

The last room I had to check was the bedroom. I'd been planning on checking it last for…well, obvious reasons. If he was still…in here, that's where he'd be. I wished I wasn't here alone, as I opened the door. But nothing could prepare me for what I was about to see. No gruesome sight I could ever remember seeing, not even the death of my own parents, could prepare me for…this.

I threw up. Right there in his bedroom, on the floor. I couldn't have moved. I was absolutely paralyzed to the spot where I stood.

"Nightshade…" I choked out, as I went over to his bedside. He was lying on his front, shirtless, on his bed. His sheets were stained with blood. Everywhere. His blood. His wings had been…cut off. There were two rotting stubs where they had been. Nightshade had been dead for at least three days. Maybe more. I didn't know. Someone had known of what he was. That meant that…well, someone probably knew what I was, too. He had a dark hole going right through his stomach…I'll leave the rest to the imagination.

I wasn't sure whether to call the police or not…I decided that I would clean up the mess I'd made, and…then look through Nightshade's phonebook. Surely there was someone I could call for help? No…probably not. I thoroughly cleaned the hardwood floor where I'd…yeah…and decided to take the cloth with me. As wrong as it felt…I'd have to leave him there….there wasn't anything I could do. He probably wouldn't want me to call the cops, either. So…I left.

Only when I returned back to my dorm did his death fully set in. I fell onto my bed and sobbed into my pillow…wondering why on earth everything bad chose to happen to me. "Let's all pick on Aikido." Nightshade…who'd been like my third parent…was dead. For being…whatever it was exactly that we were. Someone who knew of our existence.

And…I had a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach that I was next…

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"Aiko, Zero, Yuuki…this is Anya, my friend." I could have laughed at the way he said 'friend.' But I didn't, because there were too many negative things going on right now.

"Get used to calling me mom!!" She sang and winked. She gave me a funny, almost evil type of look, that was also somehow cheery.

Alright. Hated her already. I yawned, and looked away from her. She was probably pissed at me for being rude, but whatever. Not my problem. She'd never be my mother. Ever. That boat had since sailed.

"Chairman…is Anya your…ya know…your special friend?" Yuuki winked.

It would have been funny, had Anya not turned and looked ready to murder Yuuki where she stood.

"Yuuki!" Chairman cried, "Don't embarrass me!"

"Embarrass YOU?" Yuuki mumbled under her breath. She'd become slightly intimidated by Anya, as we all had. Something definitely wasn't normal about this chick.

I really hoped that Chairman Cross knew what he was doing, here.

Because one thing was for sure.

Anya really, really disliked me in particular. If looks could kill…well, I'd be dead on the spot. I had to wonder what on earth that woman had against me. I mean…gosh what did I do? If anything, I should have permission to hate her first. She was the one giving me death glares…I called her very nasty things in my head. Things I would have said out loud, had I been in a room alone with her. Or maybe not…she kind of fit the image of psycho…the kind that slaughters people in their sleep. Yeah, that kind. Something was wrong here…

Something was very wrong…

* * *

So many thanks to I Killed Tony the Tiger, aka Kyo, who has given me so much support and help for this story. It means a lot! And makes writing this story just a little less painless. :D (who also helped inspire me during writers block...and her idea sort of evolved in my head to create...the next couple chapters)

Many thanks to all of my reviewers, people who favorited, and also just plain old readers.

I honestly never thought my story would even get this popular (over 2k hits!!)

Thank you all. :)


	23. Tension

It was nearly midnight, and I was walking quietly down the hall to the Chairman's kitchen for a drink of water. I wasn't really all that alert, my brain was still half asleep. I yawned and rubbed at my eyes, not used to feeling so tired. Luckily, I was free of the burdens that thinking of Zero normally carried. No, I was too tired to think of things such as that. I was thirsty…yes, water would suffice…

That might be why it took a minute for me to process that the kitchen light was still on…why on earth would it be on at this hour…? Its light shone down the hall, guiding my way only a little better than the light of the sky had. I poked my head around the corner, and heard a soft female voice talking. Anya…I couldn't understand what it was that she was saying. I tried to listen in, but I just couldn't make anything from it no matter how hard I strained my ears to hear. But two words, two little words that I managed to make out struck a nerve. "the dealer." They could have meant anything, if I'd even heard them right at all. I couldn't be sure if I'd even heard right. I was too tired to be a reliable source. Maybe I was just hearing what I wanted to hear. Proof that Anya was evil. Anything, really…

I wanted to leave, and I knew full well that I should. But I was far to intrigued in my tired stupor. What I should do was muted out by sheer ignorance. I was probably still on the dreaming state, thinking that nothing bad could possibly happen to me. Anya was facing the opposite direction, I could see her curly blonde hair bobbing up and down, all shiny and nice…I knew that hair…but I couldn't remember from where. I'd seen it before. Well, a lot of people had blonde curly hair. It wasn't that unusual. She shut her cell phone with a distinctive clapping noise, and I jumped a little bit, and pressed my back up against the wall, whirling my head back out of her view, should she turn around. I heard her mumbled something in an inaudible voice, and I caught my breath…should she hear me breathing with her little witch ears. I don't know what gave me the impression that Anya was evil…but…I felt that she was. Paranoid? …maybe. Okay…so yeah I was being paranoid. But then again, maybe I was just being cautious. Either way, I wanted to steer clear of Anya at all costs.

But I was really thirsty…so I decided it would be best to just waltz right in there and get what I wanted, should she find me out here, listening in instead. It would be less suspicious, right?

I yawned for the image I was going for, 'straight out of bed.' Because after all…I was starting to wake up a little more than I would have liked. I walked right in there, went straight to the cupboard and rummaged around for a glass blindly with one hand. Gosh darn it, why did I have to be so short? I noticed that Anya was pretty short too, only maybe a half inch taller than me, which made me feel a little better. It gave me more leverage on her. I guessed Anya to be maybe thirty, probably a few years older. Around how old my sister would have been.

I could feel her looking at me, with piercing eyes. I didn't flinch, and tried to show her I wasn't scared of her. I finally came in contact with a glass. I poured plain old tap water in it, not caring where it came from. It was water. I was thirsty. I was also in a hurry.

"Aiko." She said plainly. I turned to her.

"Anya." I said, unhappily acknowledging that she had talked to me. I looked at her eyes for a minute. They were a light grey blue color, similar to my color. They reminded me of a storm. Much like her personality. The tension between us could have blown up the entire campus, right then and there.

I walked back to my room in a rather dark mood. Well, at least she hadn't gone psycho on me…yet. I expected her to, eventually. She seemed like the type. And very rarely was I wrong about that sort of thing.


	24. Flicker

**IMPORTANT A/N…YOU REALLY GOTTA READ THIS…**

Okay so I plan on bumping up the rating of this story to M due to something that I plan on happening in Chapter 25...lemonyness…yeah. So if you have any objections…speak now or forever hold your peace!! I mean if someone doesn't want me to, I won't, and will just have it implied instead of direct. So if you have any objections…speak now or forever hold your peace!! If I wind up keeping this story as T, and someone wants the M part, then PM me and I'll give it to you.

BUT THIS CHAPTER IS COMPLETELY SAFE, so don't worry.

**This chapter is kind of more of a short little filler chapter…meant to waste some time so nothing happens too fast…**

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"Zero, why are you so upset with me?" I cried, running after him after classes were through. "I'm sorry! I don't know what more I can do…"

He brushed me off again, and this felt like someone had thrown a tiny thousand needles at my heart. "Zero…" I whispered walking after him, trying to talk to him.

"You don't really think I'm upset with you, do you?" He sighed, turning around.

"No, of course not. I just think your avoiding me because you aren't upset with me! Of course I think that!" I felt warm tears spilling out.

Suddenly, he hugged me. "I'm not upset with you, Aikido. A little sad you never told me, but I'm not upset with you."

I stood there, not ready to hug back just yet. "Then…why…?"

"Because I was hoping you'd give up on me…but clearly you're too stupid to do that. I love you, Aikido, however…you deserve someone who can actually give you what you need."

"I feel like this is the second time you've done this…but believe me when I say that No one can give me what I need…" I said softly into his chest. "Because the only thing I need, Zero, is you."

"Silly, silly girl…" He said, lacing his fingers into my hair. "Of all of the men out there…why did you have to choose a vampire?"

"I didn't fall for you, Zero…you tripped me."

"Then tell me, Aikido…why don't you get back up again?" He inhaled the scent of my hair, and kissed my forehead.

"Because I'm perfectly comfortable where I am, thank you."

"You smell so good…so much better than any normal human…" His lips trailed down along the side of my face to my throat. He sucked there gently…giving me a hickey. I moaned a little, in a feeling of…well, pain and joy…there were so many mixed feelings with him…

I knew that he was going to bite…I was prepared for it, actually…I inhaled deeply.

"Aiki-"

"Shut up and just do it already…" I whispered softly.

The pangs pierced my flesh, and I sighed as all of the tension ran out along with my blood. I knew it was unhealthy, I mean hey, I'd probably wind up anemic in the end. But…Zero was worth it…so worth it…

I sighed as all of my troubles just flickered away suddenly…

Because…Zero didn't hate me…

And everything was perfect…

Aside from Anya.

Oh lord… ANYA.

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**So…feedback is much much much appreciated!!! Seriously, I absolutely love it!! And I also need your opinion. Do I change the rating to M and go through with my original plan, or keep it T and appropriate?**

**Don't worry, you got a couple of days to vote now, because I probably wont be updating. Hey, I missed like two days of school last week with a head cold, and have a ton of crap to make up…so that's what I'll be doing for most of next week…and I can't have distractions like the computer….T.T**


	25. Always About The Oldest

[Placeholder for other version of chapter 25...which would make this 26...or 25 ½ ...whatever…yeah this chapter's just as important…]

If you want the OTHER chapter 25, which was supposed to come before this, however I had someone who wanted me to keep it T, so, PM me and I can give you the part that came before this…however it isn't necessary, and its probably obvious what happens since I can't put it here. But I'm gonna warn you for the part that came before this which I have excluded from the story…its rated M, so read at your own risk…I take no responsibility for your reaction to it, as you wanted to read it in the first place…but seriously, its not all that bad. Its pretty tame. So PM me if you want that part.

However the story itself remains T. Even though I've probably been on the very border of that from the start.

* * *

The rest of the day was pretty uneventful. I'd been trying my hardest to avoid psycho chick Anya. And I'd been succeeding at it so far, too. However…Yuuki was suspicious…that was for sure. I ignored her best I could, and simply shrugged it off. Let Yuuki think what she wanted. Just…as long as she kept her mouth shut about it. Though I highly doubted that she actually knew, knew. But maybe she could just tell. Because I never smiled…ever.

I sat on my bed, flicking through old journal entries of mine…one specific one caught my eye. I'd been eight years old. When my sister died.

_My sister died today…from a vampire. Or, that's what my parents tell me. I'm surprised. She was a really good hunter…_

_Is it wrong to be happy?_

_Maybe mom and dad will pay more attention to me now…_

_Now it won't always be about big sister…right?_

I sighed at younger, naïve me. I flipped through all of the boring entries which were boring everyday life. Ever since I'd been attacked at seven, my parents had never cared much for me. I'd been the weaker link, never being quite up to my full potential. My elder sister, however…was, well…they switched their efforts to her, despite the fact that she'd already been in her twenties. Another entry…age 13...

_I hate my parents._

_My parents hate me._

_I inherited some freak trait._

_They've been miserable for the past five years._

_Am I not as important as her?!_

_Why can't I be…more…I don't know…noticeable?!_

_I'm important too._

_Why don't you see me then?!_

Ah, teenage angst…I'd been pretty bad at that age. Hey. Someday you try balancing hormones, 'chest features,' menstrual cycles…and did I mention the freaking WINGS? Well, every girl has to go through the first three things…but…wings just totally throw you off guard. As if being a teenager wasn't bad enough…I sighed and closed the little diary.

I began to wonder why elder siblings were always more cherished when your parents find fault in you. When you become useless and vulnerable as a hunter, your family job, your parents pretty much lose a lot of faith in you. They revert to…well, your older sibling. The perfect one.

The one who can never do anything wrong.

_It's always about you._

_It has always been about you._

_It will always be about you._

_And I hate that about you._

_My own sister._

_Perfect in even her death._

_Me. _

_Just never good enough for her parents._

_Useless…so useless…_

_Struggling to find my place._

_After all…what else is there to do?_

"Why is it always about the oldest?" I whispered to myself, throwing my journal against a wall.

"Oh Aikido…you don't know the half of it." Someone whispered back.

But I looked up…and no one was there.

* * *

Heehee so I felt really bad about not updating...so...yeah  
Here's what I managed to do after school after making up countless quizzes.  
...Well...gotta study for yet another one tomorrow. But this is the last one!! Then I'm all caught up and can write again. :)


	26. Stand Still

"Haruke Aikido."

I whirled around to face none other than Anya. I'd been doing nothing more than walking to the Chairman's bathroom…for what else? A nice hot shower…and I'd run into her. Her…the gum that I wanted to pick off of my shoe, but then you just step in it again and never get rid of it. Could this woman not take the hint?? Clearly not.

"Anya." I said distastefully.

Wait…did she just call me-

"Aikido."

No.

How did she know my name?? There was no way. There was no possible way she could have known. "How did you-"

"I'm surprised you haven't figured it out yet. I'd always thought you'd be smarter…" She sighed, backing me up against a wall. I had nothing but a towel for self defense. Anya took a strand of my hair and twirled it between her fingers before letting it fall back above my shoulder. She took a deep sigh, and caressed my cheek softly with her hand.

"Who…are you?" I asked, looking away.

"Really, Aikido? Do you really, really not know who I am?" She sighed and put her hand down. She had something in her pocket…

Suddenly everything was clear as day.

Everything made sense.

Sort of.

"You…killed Nightshade…" I stuttered out, gripping the side of my skirt. I needed to hit something. I wanted to break something…and pretend that that would make it all better. Pretend that that would make the pain…go away. I knew it wouldn't. But it would help.

"Oh, the dealer there…?" She said with pity in her voice, "Yes…he had to go. Because you see…he was a monster. You should be thankful, Aikido…you knew that he was killing you. Not that that matters to me, however…you're nothing better than what he was. In fact, you're worse. You were always worse, weren't you?"

"Shut up!" I screamed, shutting my eyes. Shutting her out…trying to shut her out.

"Aikido-"

"How do you know my name?!"

"How do you not know mine?"

And then…something struck. Everything…just clicked…for real this time. She'd known about me, and Nightshade. She knew, somehow. This woman…was dangerous. She killed Nightshade. She was going to kill me, as well. Not if I could help it, of course. This woman was a vampire, as well. At this range I could see her sharp little fangs as she talked. This woman was not Anya.

This woman…was Haruke Anri.

Haruke Anri, my sister.

"An-ri…" I choked out, finding a loss for words as well as air. "But…how…are you…"

"The vampire that attacked me was a pureblood, sweetie. He was kind enough to give me…this wonderful new life. This unimaginable strength…Aikido, it's absolutely exhilarating!" She sighed happily. "Mom and Dad knew of course…why do you think that you moved around so many times? I was following you, though. They didn't love me anymore…" She sighed sadly.

"They never loved me because of you." I spat.

"Now, now, Aiki…why all of this jealousy?" She flicked her hair behind her shoulders.

"Because I hate you."

"I love you too, Aiki. However…" she drew the gun from her pocket. "I don't love what you are." She pushed me against the wall and held me there by my shoulder with one hand. The gun pointed at my heart.

"Anri…before you do that…can I ask you something else?" I asked, staring at the gun sadly. I hoped she didn't pull the trigger.

At least it would be fast.

"Aikido, I'm really not in the mood for last wishes." She said seriously, rubbing her pointer finger ever so softly against the trigger. She furrowed her brow.

"Please?" I begged.

"Alright fine…what is it?"

"Why did you hesitate?" I smirked and pulled out my artemis rod with a quick motion. She jumped back as I hit her with it, and then fired the gun. It hit the rod as I jumped out of the way, and she hissed in anger.

"Sister!" She hissed, before shooting again. I threw myself to the floor, while screaming to grab someone's attention. I really hated to fight her alone.

Because I knew that it was inevitable that she win.

Anri always won.

The day she loses is the day that I die. Wait, no. That's not true here.

Either way…I was as good as dead. Because of my own sister. Huh. As much as I hated her…I never thought that I'd die from her hand.

I scrambled to get up as she aimed at me again.

"Stand still!" She hissed.

Yes, I was going to stand still as she tried to kill me…that made a lot of sense, no? She shot again.

This one hit its mark though. It grazed my shoulder and I grimaced as I reached for my own anti vampire gun. I tried not to think about my wound. I tried not to look at it. Looking at it would be the absolute worst thing to do. Another shot. I dropped to the floor again, as if everything was in slow motion. By now someone must have smelled my blood…right…?!

I got up again and ran down the hall, to the safety of behind a corner. I found my gun, and held it up, ready to shoot should she round the corner. Footsteps. My shoulder. Sharp, shooting pain…I flinched and tried to keep my focus on the more important situation here. I held my gun up, but my focus was drifting off…quickly. I was losing a lot of blood, wasn't I? I was afraid of Anri. Terrified, actually.

_The towel._

Anri was walking slowly. Cautiously. She was just as ready to shoot as I was. Suddenly there was another shot. Not from Anri. Not from me.

_Zero._

Anri shrieked, and I heard a thump as she fell to the ground. I cautiously swung my head around the corner, gun at the ready. It was Zero. Zero! Anri was on the floor, in a ruby red pool of blood…just like my mother had been…she looked just like my mother…

Ow.

I was in pain.

How easy that was to forget when you had a family member dying in front of you. I bent down next to her, sliding her gun away from her.

"Anri…" I whispered. As much as I hated her for trying to kill me…she was my sister. And asking me not to grieve for her dying was impossible to do.

"Aikido…" I heard Zero begin from behind me, almost apologetic. I held a hand up for him to be silent.

"You're a sick person. But you're my sister…and I forgive you."

I held her hand in mine, and stroked her shiny hair gently. Almost comfortingly.

Time stood still as she slipped into a permanent death…

And her stormy, grey blue eyes closed forever.

"Anri!" I screamed at nothing, bending over and sobbing.

_Anri…_


	27. As Sister's Blood Mixes In a Ruby Pool

Hooray!! The Coward turns a month old today!! :D And I'm finally caught up with everything!!

To date: 43 reviews

3,649 hits

21 faves

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THANK YOU ALL!!

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"Anri…" I whispered, kneeling over her limp body.

I could only hear the whispers of the crowd that had gathered around. Night Class students, mostly. Zero knelt on one knee beside me, and put a hand on my good shoulder…right…my left shoulder was bleeding heavily…

Kaien was on the other side of my sister. He was deeply upset, as no one had given him the entire story quite yet. I didn't want to be the one to have to break it to him. Although as I read his expressions, he was curious as to why I was so concerned with all of this.

"Ai-"

"Shh." I ordered Zero, overtaken with tears.

I heard him sigh, before tightening his grip on my shoulder. "Aiko, listen to me, will you? If we don't get that shoulder-"

"I don't care!" I screamed, banging my hands on the floor and shutting my eyes. Childish.

There was a long pause of quiet whispers and hushed tones from the Night Class surrounding us. And the soft loving whispers from Cross.

"I do." Zero said sternly, grabbing me by my good forearm and gently yanking me up. Once I was standing upright, I discovered just how bad I truly was. I was horribly dizzy. I fell into Zero's arms, trying to keep myself up. He took me by the waist, and lifted my arm around his neck. Only then did I realize how short I really was compared to him. He had to bend over quite a bit in order for me to support myself. I looked back at Anri, with blurry eyes. I could barely see anything. Everything was moving so quickly…like a dream.

EMTs were coming down the hall now with a stretcher. I wondered when they'd gotten here. Had it really been that long already? It seemed like it had only been a few minutes. There was a doctor from the ambulance at Anri's side, where I had been. He knew she was dead, but protocol required him to double check. It was a few more quick minutes before they realized that I was wounded as well. I wondered how all of this was going to work out legally…Zero had shot Anri, after all…but…wasn't that technically in defense of me?

No…that's right. While I'd been crying…Kaname had…well…fixed her death, so it would look like she shot herself by accident. I wasn't sure how exactly that would blow over…after all…how do you shoot yourself…on accident? The alleged story was that she shot herself while firing at me. Kaname had made swift work to replace her gun with a vampire gun. The bullet that had shot me…well, as far as everyone knew, vanished. Poof.

Gone.

*wink wink*

Yeah…one of the Night Class students had disposed of it. I could remember a little bit of time…as Zero described what had happened. I'd blocked it out…not wanting to listen.

Just like I shut my eyes and blocked out the rest of that night…

* * *

Yeah…I wanted this to be longer, since the Coward turns a month old and such…but I just didn't have the time…I'll try to make up for it though.


	28. My Memories Aren't Important Now

Yeah…I've sort of been trying to put off the whole Shizuka thing…because I just didn't really understand that part to write well enough about it…so...I'm sort of just skipping over it...sorry to disappoint...

…Haha bad me I haven't updated in lets see…FOUR AND A HALF WHOLE DAYS!!! I know, you all died didn't you? XD Just kidding…

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"Chairman…?" I asked, knocking hesitantly on his door. He'd been sulking in there ever since Anri's unpleasant end, even though he knew the truth about her. I had brought him some sympathy chocolate, in hopes of cheering him up. When I wasn't granted so much as an acknowledging grunt, I sighed quickly and left the small box in front of his door. I figured I shouldn't disturb him.

I started back to my room, confidence a little deflated.

"Aikido," Someone said. My real name.

I looked up to see Kiryu Ichiru. Zero's twin. What was he doing here…? He'd known who I was right off the bat…unlike Zero. Maybe that was because as a younger child I'd always been visiting Ichiru when he was sick. My family had been very close to Zero's parents, and we were often over there for visits. Well…my parents and sister had been discussing…business with them. But I'd usually just hung around and lived in my naïve little make believe world.

"What are you doing here?" I demanded to know. He was wearing a Day Class uniform, I made note of.

"No hello, Ichiru? No how are you? No its been a while?" He asked, pretending to be insulted. He smirked.

I sighed. "Hello…now why are you here?"

"I think I have the right to question you first. What are you doing here?"

"What are you talking about?" I narrowed my eyes, and wondered when I'd grown so cold to him.

"Aren't you supposed to be dead?"

"Wrong question." I said bluntly, before continuing to walk back to my room. I touched a hand to my bandaged shoulder, and flinched at its memories. I'd been released from the hospital yesterday, after less than 24 hours there.

"I know what you must be feeling, Aiki."

_Aiki. Only people close to me called me Aiki._

I wanted to hurt him just then.

"Yeah right," I hissed softly and what I'd hoped to be inaudibly as well.

No such luck. "You hated her. You've hated her for a while, haven't you?"

"Shut up!" I cried, clenching my fists so tight that my knuckles turned white.

"Jealous, weren't you? It's always about the older child. The better child. The stronger child. It's always about them, isn't it?"

"Stop trying to get me worked up at her." I said, cooling myself down a bit. "I might have been jealous, but I could never hate my sister."

"Of course not," He said coolly, stepping up behind me and putting a hand on either of my shoulders.

"Don't touch me," I whispered, eyes widening. I felt his grip tighten. I took in a sharp breath of air, before shaking him off. I whirled around to face him. "Don't. Touch. Me." My voice was shaking. I was afraid of him.

"You're scared." He said simply.

"Not at all…" I lied through my teeth. I stood up a little straighter. "I'm not."

"You're not what?"

"I'm not a coward," I said loudly, as if trying to convince myself of this statement.

"No one ever said you were," He said, taking my shoulders.

"Don't touch me!" I hissed, smacking his hands away.

Prickle…there was a chill that went up my back. An oh so friendly warning of what was to come.

He smirked, and I stepped back. "Get away from me…" I warned, before walking away.

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"Aiko!!" Yuuki sang, knocking on my door a little later.

"What?" I groaned, stuffing my face into a pillow.

"Are you going to dress up for tonight?" She asked excitedly.

"What are you-" Oh, _damn. That huge dance was tonight. The one with both the Night Class and the Day Class._ "No." I said immediately.

"What? But why not?" She whined, opening my door. I could have sworn that I'd locked that.

"Because. I don't care. And besides, I have nothing to wear anyways." I lifted my head up from the pillow momentarily to look at her. "Why are you wearing a dress?" I asked, a stupid question I guess.

She blushed. "Oh, this?? Well…actually someone sent it to me apparently…"

"Well, gee. I wonder who it could be." I said unenthusiastically. It was obvious it was her precious Kuran kid.

"I know…I have no idea…"

You have got to be kidding me.

"I don't care. I'm not going to dress up." I sat up straight, tossing the pillow back to where it belonged. "Another question. Why are you wearing that NOW?"

"I was trying it on…"

"Well it looks great. Now get out."

She frowned, but did as I told her.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

I groaned. Patrolling outside was boring as heck. The party was…indoors. But I was thankful to be away from the large crowd of people at least. I was meant to look out for any Night Class students sneaking off with Day Class girls…or vice versa. I didn't really expect that to happen though. Nothing exciting ever seemed to happen…

You're probably wondering how I can possibly say that everything I've been through isn't exciting. Well…its because…it's not. It's scary, more of. The only thing that had even been close was….

"Aiki."

"Ichiru," I said twirling around and looking at him blankly. "What do you want?"

"What's the matter with you, anyways? Don't you remember anything?" He stood behind me, putting his hands on my shoulders and breathing on the top of my head. "You were never one to dress up, were you?"

"No." I said simply. "I'm not."

"Such a shame…I was so looking forward to it." He smirked.

"Why don't you go jump off of a building?" I asked, glaring.

"Why don't I push you off of a building?"

"Why don't you?!" I said, raising my voice.

"Because…I could never forget my closest childhood friend."

"Ichiru…" I said, stepping out of his grasp. "Please leave me alone."

"My pleasure. Besides. I have some other business to attend to."

I watched him go, almost making sure that he was truly leaving. He was, thankfully. I looked over to the building, watching the lights glittering in the dark hours of night. I tucked some of my hair behind my ear before deciding that I had some loose ends to tie up. Like Nightshade. I wondered if anyone had found him. Maybe it would be best to go through some of his old belongings, too…

I started to grow further and further from my original location, slowly and naturally. I felt like crying about Nightshade, and wondered why this hadn't really crossed my mind since.

And some little part of me had a horrible feeling that no one had found my second father yet.


	29. I'd Give Anything To Remember

For those worried that I skipped over that whole mess thing at the dance-- I didn't. After you read this chapter, don't worry, all of that stuff is still going to happen. She's going to make it back in time…because although this might seem long, its not actually very long.

This chapter really isn't so important...

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Nightshade's door was unlocked, which made me uneasy. Someone had sprayed lilac air freshener. Too much of it. So much of it that it made your eyes water and nose sting. The sick humor in all of this was that Nightshade and lilacs didn't bode so well. Nightshade hated lilacs. He'd once told me the story…which I didn't remember now. I remember very few of his stories, and wish I'd listened more now. Usually I'd been impatient and distracted around him.

I missed him more than I'd originally thought.

Nightshade…

I was beginning to hate lilacs myself. Lilacs and decay do not mix well. Nightshade's body was no longer here, but the critters who'd come after his corpse remained. I sat down on his lumpy couch, and wondered where on earth I would begin searching in his dreary apartment.

A rusty file cabinet caught my eye first. It was in the corner of his living room. The drawers were wide open, and manila folders littered the floor. Each folder contained a name and a species. These must have been his clients. I dug through the piles, in search of mine. If it was even there. It hadn't remained in it's proper drawer, so I carefully picked through the folders scattered on the floor. Somewhere in the middle of the mess, I found it. It was clearly older than most of the others, and was a slightly lighter color. It displayed my birth year on the little tab. My full name- Haruke Aikido was handwritten across the front in thin, spidery letters. Most of his newer clients' names had been typed neatly.

My hands trembled as I opened it. It was fairly full- more full than most of the others. It was full of old, slightly brownish papers. I kneeled down on the floor, tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, and began to scan its contents.

_Haruke Aikido_

_Father- Haruke Renjii (Dead)_

_Mother- Haruke (Sakura) Kira (Dead)_

_Sister- Haruke Anri (Dead)_

_Brother- Haruke Shiiro (Status unknown- missing)_

_Race- Demon? Unknown_

_Prescription- Recently developed by my own hand. In use since Haruke's birth. Side effects unknown_

_Haruke Aikido was brought to me as a newborn regarding concerns about lumps on her upper back. Doctors ruled out all existing medical conditions, and her parents feared it might be the underlying issue that has run in the Haruke line for centuries. Haruke Aikido was indeed showing signs of this condition, so I gave her parents a small pill bottle of my own creation, which I have taken myself. They were warned that the side effects were unknown, and were grateful nonetheless. Haruke Aikido is my second cousin, and although I am twenty years ahead of her, she is kin. The medicine should prove successful, with luck._

_At age four, Haruke Aikido is already showing complex thinking patterns, which is interesting to observe. She is reading already at a fourth grade level, with is intriguing, but also strikes fear into her parents, who fear she will not be able to live normally. Haruke Aikido is ill quite often though, and has been in the hospital for long periods at a time. When she is not sick, she'd prefer the outdoors. Her parents strongly discourage this want, in concern that she will become sicker. Although I disagree, I am not her father and can do little to convince them it may be good for her. Haruke Aikido's parents prefer her elder sister, Haruke Anri, age 19, over Aikido. Haruke Aikido is the weaker link, who will never make an adequate hunter. Or so her parents believe. Haruke Anri is vain and materialistic, though, and will never be an adequate woman. _

_Today Haruke Aikido was attacked by a rouge vampire, almost killing her. Her father Haruke Renjii was there to protect and save her, though. I feel as though Haruke Renjii was just showing love for his daughter as a hunter. She was doing quite well up until this point, rarely sick. Haruke Aikido may have just carried on her family's legacy until tonight. Now she will never quite be the same, always fragile and weak as close to death as she came. She could still die tonight, however I've received word that she is stable._

_Haruke Aikido stands at age 12 now, and was showing positive growth in strength until her encounter with a vampire at age 7. From ages 5-7, she was barely sick, and always bubbly and perky. She is ahead of her classes now. However she has clearly beginning to neglect her pills as a sign of rebellion. I can tell this for her eyes are beginning to turn pinkish-red around the corners. I believe she has little time left before her awakening. It is her decision though, and I need her trust, so I will not tell her parents._

_Haruke Aikido celebrated her thirteenth year last night. I had not been there personally, but her mother told me that she "awoke" last night, According to Haruke Kira, Aikido has not been taking her pills. I supposed I should have told her that I had known about this. Haruke Aikido's choice was her own though, and what grounds did I have to interfere?_

_When I saw Haruke Aikido today, I knew all of her childhood had been drained from her. She looks deeply troubled, and much, much older. Her spark is gone, however she still maintains some interest in what I teach her. Depressed may be a harsh word to use here. But it pains me to see her this way._

_Haruke Aikido is 14 now, and I've tried to teach her how to use her wings. She is stubbornly refusing to learn, though, and continues on her pills as she needs them. I'm going to continue to try and teach her how to use them as an escape, if needed. As her blood is a delicacy to vampires, she will probably need it. For now, though, I am trying to improve her defense skills against vampires. She reluctantly agreed to this, thankfully. Even though the Harukes are a legendary vampire hunting clan, her parents have left large gaps in their daughters training. Their efforts have shifted to Aikido's elder sister, instead. I am making it my personal business to fill these gaps in._

_Haruke Aikido has made a deal to learn how to use her wings, but does not plan on using them. I've just begun her on some basics, but she's easily catching on. It is in her nature, anyways._

My attention was brought back to two things in that file summary. One: Nightshade was related to me?! And two: I HAD A BROTHER?! A MISSING BROTHER? But that couldn't be right….Anri had been my only sibling. Hadn't she?

I shoved the rest of the papers into the manila folder. I only had a few hours before the dance ended, and I had a bad feeling that soon my absence would be noticed. Since I was in no mood for punishment, I slipped the folder underneath the couch, to come back for later. I checked Nightshade- Nightshade my COUSIN's bedroom. Thankfully, he really wasn't in there.

And then my curiosity took over, and I went back to the file cabinet.

And I found it.

_Haruke Shiiro._

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Isn't it disappointing when you write something out on paper, and it looks like you wrote a ton, and then you type it up and its like nothing? That's what happened here…


	30. The Replacement

I decided to keep Aiko/Aikido out of the fight, mostly because…well…I didn't want to have to write about it…if you were looking forward to that part…I deeply apologize!!! The only reason I'm not writing it is because I don't trust myself writing about it…so just imagine all of that stuff already happened…sorry, but I really don't have faith in myself as a writer in writing about that part.

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**NOTE: This part takes place after Yuuki leaves with Kaname…yes, it's a large jump. I really have no clue what happens after they leave- so from here on out its entirely my plot.**

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"Zero, please come out of there…" I sighed, knocking desperately on his door. Ever since Yuuki had left with Kaname…Zero just hadn't been the same.

And that hurt me.

A lot.

I didn't get a response from him.

"Zero…please." I slammed my fists against his door, before slowly sliding down to my knees, with my hands against the door firmly. I watched as the paneling on the door grew blurry, and I shut my eyes only to have tears run down my cheeks.

What had ever happened to "I love you." When did we go back to the Yuuki topic?

You can't ask people to change.

He would always love Yuuki.

And I was a replacement.

The cheap knock-off you bought when the real thing was too expensive. Although no one would ever know the difference, you knew. And deep down you wished it was the real thing. I just took her place. But inside he still wanted her, although he tried very hard to seem more interested in me. Because I think that he truly wanted to be in love with me. He'd been lying to himself though. The same way I had. It wasn't working though, and Zero longed for Yuuki. I was just there to satisfy him just enough. Yuuki would always be who he really wanted. Who he really needed.

I was trying very hard not to let out a loud wail.

Zero was still in love with her. It was still about her, and I'd been fooling myself all along. Even though we'd never officially been a couple, I'd always thought that it went without saying. Maybe that was just me fooling myself as well. I dropped my hands to my lap. I was pitying myself right now. What a sad excuse I was for a person.

Suddenly I stood up. Through clenched teeth I whispered, "I'm sorry Zero, But I can't do this anymore."

And that's how I left Cross Academy.

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Review or die!!!! Lol just kidding. But please please review!!! I need responses from the readers here!! Aikido says: Review. Favorite. Alert. :)


	31. My Life The Soap Opera

Nightshade's apartment was my first thought on where to go. No one would find me there, and no one had come to clean it out just yet, either. Since Nightshade didn't have any family that was known by the government, there was a large predicament of where his belongings would go. I assumed that when people bothered to find his family, I'd be the only living blood relative. That wasn't MIA anyways. I wondered how much older, or younger my 'brother' Shiiro was than me. I assumed he was older, but anything's possible I guess. Especially in my life. Sometimes I sit back and think that people would love to film my life.

After all.

It would make a damn good soap opera.

I began the tedious task of locking his door, which consisted of several different locks. I finally finished, but still didn't feel comfortable in his empty apartment. Alone. I was afraid. At least the lilac scent was gone. I plopped my bag down beside the couch, and then proceeded to push a table in front of the locked door. If someone really wanted to get in and bash down the door, than it wouldn't stop them. I, of course, had my doubts about this, but I'm sure there were plenty of people who were not on good terms with Nightshade. But…it at least made me feel somewhat more comfortable. A little bit, anyways. A very very miniscule little bit. Hey- its better than nothing, right? The first real decision that I made was that I wouldn't sleep in his bed. For one, it was crawling with…er…little buggies. And two, it just seemed wrong somehow. I unfolded a faded blue blanket that had been on a shelf in his closet, and spread it out on the couch. It was growing dark now, and I pondered how long it would take before anyone realized that I wasn't where I should be. The Chairman was still in a spiraling depression after Anri/Anya. And Zero…I didn't like to think of him. I swallowed the little lump in my throat, and bent down to my knees to pull my manila folders from under the couch. I'd stuffed Shiiro's under there as well, for my own benefit of finding it again.

I sat on the couch, and pulled the blanket around my shoulders. Even though it wasn't winter, Nightshade's apartment was bitter cold. I made myself comfortable, and sank into the cushions. I put my file down, and picked up Shiiro's in my hands. My hands began to shake violently, and I put the folder back into my lap, and opened it up.

I had no sooner read his name on the top of the first sheet when suddenly the entire folder burst into black flame. I let out a distinctive yelp as it singed my legs, and I tossed it onto the glass coffee table. I was standing on top of the couch now, watching the coal colored flames eat away at all that may be left of my brother. And then the fire caught onto my folder as well, and was taking it down. I reached out a hand to try and pull mine away, and then stomp it out, anything to save what was left of my history. But when my hand was mere inches away, my fingers burnt, and I pulled them back in shock. I hadn't even touched the flame. I stared at the dancing flame, as it licked away and greedily ate the papers. The history. The photographs.

"No…" I whispered, holding my hand out towards the flame, longing to steal back what had been mine.

And then the strangest thing happened.

The flames flickered out just as fast as they'd come. Leaving only a pile of char and ash on the glass coffee table. There was still a distinct burning smell in the air, and I covered my nose for a bit, and breathed through my sleeve, to get used to it. For all I knew, that smoke could have been toxic. I hadn't blinked for a while, still staring at the pile of ashes. Spontaneous combustion wasn't normal…I looked down to my legs, which were burnt. Not badly- I'd been quick enough to toss it off. But it had left a strange purple mark. I looked back down at the ashes, fully examining them.

And they spelled out a word. Two words.

A four letter word. And then a two letter word. Which both scared me silly. I found myself hyperventilating, and really thought I was going to pass out.

_**Help me.**_

_**

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**_

_Don't you just loooove my pathetic attempt at cliffhangers? Yeah, that's what I thought. ;D_

_You guys know the drill!! Review. Favorite. Alert. I hate annoying you like that, but seriously, I love reviews!! It lets me know you guys are still out there and have actual emotion towards the story. Sort of. Well still. If anything, it makes me feel good._


	32. The Suffer

A/N: This chapter is entirely in the THIRD PERSON POINT OF VIEW, and no longer focused on Aikido for the moment. This chapter focuses on Zero for once.

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As he walked to his classes, he knew something was wrong right away. Besides the empty place where Yuuki had been. The boy was confused, and just couldn't let go of her entirely. He loved Yuuki…that was for sure. But when Aikido had come along…he was IN love with Aikido. Zero knew there was a distinctive difference. Yet he had been hurting Aikido, still, and he knew that. Unintentionally, he knew he'd been killing her inside, and might have well of just shot her in the chest. Yuuki was no longer even in his league, and…she never was. Now Kiryuu Zero just wanted to kill her. Yuuki was no longer the one he once knew. She was a vampire. A pureblood, nonetheless.

Haruke Aikido was not human either. But she did not harm others, and she wasn't a killer. Not even in her nature, he didn't believe that she could ever kill, unless in self-defense. Aikido was rare. She was pretty, a little distant, and intelligent. Maybe she lacked common sense, but it didn't matter to him. And she was brave. So brave. But she had little self confidence…and always seemed to lack something. He didn't know what it was though. He also didn't care. He was still in love with her.

As Kiryuu Zero looked back on how he'd acted for the past couple of weeks, he realized how much he must have hurt her. She had tried so hard to get him to come out. She was lonely and wanted him to talk to her. And he'd been a bigheaded jerk and completely ignored her. Because she wasn't Yuuki. And she wasn't trying to be, either. No matter how hard she cried for him to talk to her, he hadn't.

When he entered the classroom…Aikido wasn't in class.

He hadn't heard from her since the previous afternoon. Normally she'd come and leave some food at his door every night. Not for eating, necessarily, but…comfort food. Last night she hadn't. She'd slept outside of his door every night. Last night, she hadn't been there. Zero grew suspicious, but brushed it off and sat down. Maybe she'd finally just given up. But, it was Aikido. Aikido gave up rarely.

As hard as he tried to concentrate on his lesson, his mind kept wandering off. She was probably just skipping. But there was no way she could have guessed that he'd be in today…Zero hadn't gone to class since Yuuki had disappeared.

Zero sighed as he walked to his next class, trying not to think about her…them…both of them…too much. Yuuki had been the only one who'd invaded his thoughts ever since she'd left. Now Aikido was forcing her way back in…and he'd realized how much he'd actually hurt her. Part of him was okay with that. Aikido didn't need him, really. She was better than that. She deserved better than him…didn't she? She'd said that she loved him. And he believed every word. And when he'd drunk her blood…he knew it was the truth. She'd spilled her heart out to him, and he could taste her emotions through her rich blood. He hadn't told her that he'd been drinking from Yuuki over the same time period. Except…Aikido was better. When Zero drank Yuuki's blood, there was only a love for another, Kaname, that was so strong it made him sick. He was going to kill Yuuki one day. Even if that meant getting killed by Kaname in the process. He was almost certain he knew that Aikido had left- she was hurt, and probably experiencing pain that Zero didn't even want to imagine.

Just now he was realizing what he'd put her through. From the first time he'd kissed her, to biting her, to saying those three little words…and then he'd thrown that away for someone who didn't even care for him. He'd thrown it all away. His chance at happiness. Aikido had been a good influence on him. Somewhere, he could faintly remember why he hadn't just ended his life when Yuuki left. Because Aikido was still there. She'd always been there, and she'd always been loyal to him. Yuuki had been there sometimes, but less frequently.

And he was a horrible person.

A horrible person to not realizing any of this before.

A horrible person for not realizing that he had Aikido all along.

A horrible person for being torn between Yuuki and Aikido.

A horrible person for not realizing that Aikido was ten million times better.

A horrible person for abandoning her because he was in pain.

A horrible person for making her experience his pain with him.

And a horrible person for even comparing Aikido with Yuuki.

* * *

Reviewwww!! Please? Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease?


	33. Circus

That morning, I brushed the pile of ash into the trash can after crying myself to sleep on the couch that night. My hair was a mess, but I really didn't care about that. All of my vanity (the little that there was) and will to look nice were virtually gone. The trash was starting to smell, badly, so I put the bag over my shoulder and brought it downstairs and outside onto the curb. The sun was shining brightly, even though I was miserable. Life was going on, oblivious to my pain. Birds were still singing happily, sharing their songs with the world. I brushed my bangs out of my eyes, and looked around the empty street nervously. All was quiet here, and I could just hear the roar of some cars in the distance. Of course, there were people's televisions and such going in the apartment building as well, and the residents were probably drinking coffee, and waking up for the new day.

Life was going on.

Just because I was hurting didn't mean that time stopped. Life was going on all around me, even if my world seemed frozen in place. I took in a deep breath, my lungs savoring the fresh air after being locked up in Nightshade's apartment. There was a soft breeze, which whipped my hair in every which way. Suddenly, as I stared at the rusty trashcan, it burst into flames. I screamed, jumped nearly ten feet backwards and fell on my butt. I watched the burning trashcan with wide eyes. There was a distinct odor of burning trash, which made me cover my nose. I watched as the trashcan burned.

Then I noticed something odd. The wind was blowing to the west, towards Cross Academy.

Then why…was the smoke blowing east?

I stood myself up shakily. Was this some type of smoke signal…? The smoke was moving across the sky now. I wondered if it was in my best interest to follow it. After all…I didn't think it was normal for the smoke to be going that way, when the wind was disagreeing. I didn't know for sure…but it seemed deliberate. And…well trash cans don't just spontaneously combust for no reason, either. My curiosity caught hold of me, and I began to follow the smoke…which was holding together in a thick grey cloud above my head. Like grey cotton candy. It wasn't fading away or moving apart, either. It was staying together in a thick clump, moving as though it had a purpose to be fulfilled. I couldn't remove my eyes from it, in fear that I'd look away, wander too far and become lost when I realized it wasn't still up there.

Alright, so maybe following a smoke cloud was strange. But how could I not when it was moving so…purposefully. I almost wondered if I was walking into some sort of trap. Though I couldn't imagine anyone who'd want to trap me. Or catch me by using some messed up smoke cloud type of thing. That seemed a little far-fetched. But I kept following my little cloud, which was holding together even after five minutes. Ten. Twenty. It was moving a little faster now, and I hurried up a little more. Suddenly it began moving faster than I could run, and I didn't know what to do at that point.

Unless I…flew. The cloud could provide me cover. I was in the woods now, and…nobody was there to see me.

But…I swore that I'd never use them again.

But it would be easy to summon them. I hadn't been taking my pills. Sure…I'd lost control a few times…but I'd always been alone. And I'd let them come out…I'd let them have their way so they wouldn't fight with me later.

Just thinking about them conjured up that prickling, tingly feeling in my spine…I shuddered in excitement. To fly….I hadn't actually flown in so long. I dropped myself on all fours, with my back to the sky, and forced them out. The cloud was getting far ahead of me now, and I didn't have time to lose. I winced as they came out and broke through the back of my shirt…but the feeling settled. I looked back at each one of them, one charcoal black, the other one snow white, and knew that they would help me fly. They were large, beautiful, graceful and powerful. I hated them, and the feeling wasn't mutual. I ran my hand along one of them, and the wing twitched a little, discouraged. With one thrust of my wings, I was up in the air, and flapping awkwardly. I had very little control. I flew forward though, and soon they grew more comfortable. Like riding a bike.

Okay, so…not like riding a bike.

But you never forgot how to do it.

I stayed in the cover of the trees until I caught up to the cloud. Then I let myself drift upwards a little bit, but not a lot. I wished that I'd eaten before I decided to just go on a trip following a random cloud. Stupid me. Suddenly…after maybe fifteen minutes…the cloud faded to nothing. I looked down, disappointed almost. I'd wasted all of that for…well nothing. Getting lost in the middle of the woods, pretty much. I descended to the ground, deciding to take a break. I pulled my wings back in, and examined my surroundings. And then I saw it.

An ornately painted circus-type bandwagon…the kind that you'd keep animals in for travel and before and after shows in one of those tents. The type that you saw in old cartoons and movies. I was looking at the back of it, and couldn't see inside. On the back, written across the middle two cages…were big gold letters that read "THE NIJI CIRCUS." There were strange, brightly colored pictures everywhere…of contortionists and people with a million piercings everywhere, and the like. And then there were other, more disturbing ones. People with real animal parts. Including wings.

There was a fire going, I could see some smoke. And the very top of a tent. I'd been closer to civilization than I'd thought. I became curious, and snuck around to the front of the cages.

And nothing could prepare me for what I was about to see.


	34. When You Don't Think Things Through

People.

Stored in cages.

Malnourished, but not horribly so. Just enough to keep them thin.

In colored, festive costumes that made them look anything but festive.

These were not normal people, though. Some had cat ears. Real cat ears. Real cat tails. Wings. Half horse men. Half breeds. They all looked at me as I walked past them, horrified. I looked back in astonishment, and I'm sure that questions were formed about the holes in my shirt. I wanted to help them. They were not here by will. That I was sure of. I honestly thought I was going to throw up. Most of them were handcuffed as well as locked up in the cages, and I tried to resist screaming. I walked down the long row, taking in each and every one of them. Some were begging me to help them. Others were glaring at me.

Then there were the two middle cages, each larger than the others, and much more detailed. Inside of them were actually beds and a few miscellaneous items, mostly books. One of the cages was empty, and unused. In the opposite one there was a boy…well, maybe man would be more of an accurate term. He was facing the metal back wall, as if trying to burn through it. He had long brown hair that touched just below his shoulders, and looked silky and soft to the touch. He was shirtless, and wearing tight blue jeans. Suddenly, he stood up, and I took a step back, knowing full well I wasn't allowed here and shouldn't be here. He turned around, and I found myself looking into a pair of icy blue eyes. Ones that resembled Anri's.

Ones that resembled mine.

"Shiiro?" I whispered weakly, stepping forward, grasping the bars and sticking my head through.

"Ah…No one's called me that in a long time…Sister…" He was maybe six to ten years older than I was. He kneeled down, and I found myself beginning to cry. I reached a hand through, and touched his hand.

"Why are you here?" I asked, swallowing a lump in my throat.

"Because…I inherited certain genes which gave me wings…and…of course just recently I've been developing certain powers…over fire. The Niji family is holding me captive here. Forcing me to do ridiculous things…entertain the masses. They've been doing this to me since I was ten. The year you were born."

"But how were you-"

"Shh, sister. You need to leave me now. They will return soon They will know you are my sister."

"How will they know that I'm-"

"There is a cage next to me. They are waiting for you. They know who you are. Do not let them catch you, little sister. They will drag you into this life, as they have done me. They will recognize you. You look too much like me. They will know." His tone was hushed now, and more urgent.

"I'm not just going to leave you!" I hissed.

"Sister. Leave me. Come back late tonight if you wish. When the fire there is out, it is safe. Come back tonight and I will talk to you then." He gave me a look that told me I should listen to him.

"Shiiro-"

"No, Sister. No more. Leave. They are close now." He shooed me away with a hand. I heard other voices now, and I took off on foot, not wanting to be caught.

But I would come back for him.

Tonight.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

As I snuck around the front of the wagon, I could barely see a thing in the darkness. The only thing that provided me with a light was the natural yellowish glow of the moon. I had lingered in the woods for a while, not going back to Nightshade's apartment in fears of not remembering my way back. Most of the people were asleep, with permanent grimaces haunting their thin faces even in their dreams. I silently slipped back down to my brother's residence.

"Shiiro!" I called quietly.

He quickly responded, by kneeling down in front of me, just behind the bars.

"You came back." He noted, nodding his head as if he were pleased with this.

"Of course I did!" I nearly cried out, before reaching my hand in to hold his cautiously.

"It is okay, Sister. I do not bite." He smiled, and took my hand in his.

"I know that…I just…I'm afraid you'll just…I don't know. Disappear…I didn't even know you existed until a short while ago."

"I understand how difficult this must be for you." He whispered softly, reaching outwards to stroke my cheek. I flinched backwards, trying not to be reminded of how Zero used to always do that. Zero used to take my face in his hand, and look into my eyes. "Is everything alright, Sister?"

"Yeah…sorry. I guess I'm just not entirely comfortable with…well, maybe we should have the family reunion later. How do I get you out of here?"

He took a long pause. "You don't."

"What do you mean 'I don't'?" I said, discouraged and near tears. "I'm not going to leave you here."

"Aikido…I just needed you to know me. And I needed to see you as well. But…I will not have you risk helping me escape. It is too dangerous."

"Shiiro!" I said, raising my voice slightly. I was horrified at what he was suggesting. I was not going to leave him here.

"Shh. They will hear you."

I lowered my voice, "I won't leave you." I looked desperately into his eyes…searching for something. A sign, maybe.

"Sister, please. You can not help me escape. It is too dangerous." He pleaded.

"Shiiro…you're my only family…and I just don't have the strength to leave you here. Please, tell me how to get you out."

"I will not."

"Wait…if you control fire…than how come you don't just burn your way out??"

"Because, I do not know how to stop it. It stops randomly, on its own. I do not know how to stop it. I would run the risk of burning the others here alive at my expense," He said softly, "Of course, I have already thought of that."

"Of course…" I looked down. "Please…just tell me what I can do to get you out."

"No, Sister. I can not risk them catching you as well," he said sternly, warning me with his voice that he was not going to let me win this.

"Who keeps the keys, then?" I asked, changing the topic. I glanced at the intricate-looking lock that was clipped onto his door. "Wait…these cages are metal. How would the fire spread…? Just heat the bars enough so they could be moved."

"Sister, you overestimate me. I do not know enough about this. Keep in mind I have just discovered that I can use this fire to my will. I do not know how far exactly I can go with it."

"Oh…well…then who keeps the keys?" I asked again, more determined.

"Sister, please. Do not do this," He looked at me desperately, as if trying to will me not to.

"Shiiro. If I don't do this…you'll be trapped here forever," I whispered sadly, "I have to."

"As long as you are not trapped with me, than I am fine with this."

"Stop trying to be so valiant!" I protested weakly. "You are my only family…and I need you." Unlike Zero, I really did need my brother. He was the only person who I could fully trust. The one that would always be there.

"Sister…You need to leave."

"If you don't tell me, then I'll go looking around myself. If I don't have a specific target, however, my risk of getting caught increases." I was going to win this. I had to. I had to get my brother out of here. Somehow. I had to.

"Alright, Little Sister. You are so stubborn," he smiled weakly at me. "I will tell you."

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Aikido had been here. Zero could still smell her heavy scent, lingering in this place. It was lighter, now, though. She hadn't been here for at least six hours. Maybe more. He had questioned the other people in the apartment building, to make sure that she had indeed been here. They had confirmed it, mentioning that she came here quite often. They also mentioned that the man who used to live here was a shady man, one who may or may not have been dealing with drugs. He was murdered, apparently, which gave Zero suspicions. It was like Aikido had been living an entire secret life behind his back. But had she really been on drugs? He didn't think so, for he'd never been able to taste any in her bloodstream. Did he even know what drugs tasted like, though? Would he have even known if she had? Probably not. Was that what made her blood taste so good…? Or was it just what and who she was?

Either way he had to find her. He found her school uniform lying lifeless on the couch, and picked it up in his hands. It smelled like her…he inhaled it's scent longingly. He'd been too late to catch her here, that was obvious. But it was nearly eleven at night, and he was clueless to why on earth she would be out so late. Would she be coming back here? Or had she moved on already to another place? Should she be coming back here, and had something happened?

Did it even matter?

Would she even talk to him now?

After all he'd put her through, would she even want anything to do with him?

Well…she probably would. Zero felt genuinely bad about that. For selfish reasons, he almost felt better. Because she was Aikido, and she did not move on easily. She still cared about him, and he knew that. She would take him back in a heartbeat, if she was still the same old Aikido. Because she wasn't Yuuki, and struggled with abandoning people.

Aikido was loyal until the end.

And as much as he didn't want to abuse that, he needed to find her. He at least needed to apologize to her, and hold her one last time. He needed to tell her that he was sorry. He clenched her clothes in his fist, and brought them to his nose again. He buried his face into the shirt, remembering who it was that he'd lost. A realization. The memories, however few, pained him to think about. He folded her clothes in respect, and put them back on the couch where he'd found them.

His love, his sweet Aikido, was not here.

But he would find her. And he would apologize to her.

Even if by some chance she didn't want him back.

He wouldn't blame her.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

I shifted uncomfortably. Getting keys from a rather large man did not seem to be something that I was capable of doing by myself. But I had to do it. For Shiiro's sake. Because he was my brother, and I swore to him that I would get him out of this mess. I had to. Somehow, I had to. I glanced over at the trailers, and specifically looked over the one that I was after. I knew for a fact I would not be recognized right away- I was sure that nobody could tell the resemblance between my brother and I unless you knew our faces by heart, or if we were standing beside one another. My target trailer was one of the nicer ones in the lot, with 'NIJI KOKURO' painted in gold on the door. The windows had blinds inside, of a dark green color. The entire color scheme of the outside was gold and green. I caught my breath, rethinking my plan. I had originally been planning on knocking on the door, claiming that Niji Jori needed the keys, and since I was his new intern, I was requested to bring them to him. But success with that plan was looking pretty low.

And then I got an idea.

I ran back to Shiiro's cell to get what I'd need.

"What is it, Sister?" He asked tiredly. He would need rest once I got him out of there.

"Do you have paper and a pen in there?" I asked softly, wrapping my arms around one another. It was chilly.

"Yes, actually. Since I am generally obedient and a favorite act, I have many things that the others do not. I am spoiled, although not much…" He rummaged around on a little table that was filled with books and the like. At least he had things to do in there. He handed me a little notepad, and a ballpoint pen with the name of a medication on it. "Will this suffice?"

"This is perfect…" I said, smiling. "Don't worry, I promise…you'll be out of there in no time."

I hurried back towards Niji Kokuro's trailer. I walked up a little nervously, and hesitantly knocked on the door. Sheer will was the only thing that kept me moving forward. I looked up at the night sky, wondering why on earth I chose now of all times to disturb him. It was nearly midnight. Maybe I should have thought this through…

He opened the door, wearing a big, fuzzy white bathrobe, and black pants. "What is it?" He snapped, clearly upset that I woke him.

"I was actually hoping for an interview. I came from a separate time zone, you see…and I have a deadline to be somewhere else…so I was really hoping that you could find the time just for a short one. It won't take more than five minutes, I promise you."

"Talk to Jori," he said irritated. "I'm not the man you want to talk to. Jori runs the show."

"Yes…but you handle the creatures. I would like to hear things from one who's experienced this first hand."

He was clearly not happy with my decision, but gestured for me to come in anyways. I sat down on the couch, looking around, pretending to take all of this in.

"Hurry this along, lady. It's late."

Too late for him to notice I didn't have a pass to be here, like a good reporter would. I almost smirked. I nodded, "Of course. May I have a look at your keys? I received a tour a bit earlier, and I noticed that the locks looked a little funny."

He didn't look happy, but went to retrieve them anyways. He handed me the ring, and I looked them over, curiously. Each one was labeled with what I assumed to be the names of each one of the acts. I placed the ring of keys on the table beside me, and he sat down across from me. I began to ask him a few pointless, reporter-like questions. I pretended to write down his answers, accompanying with a 'Mhmm' or the like. I shoved the notepad into my pocked and stood up in front of the table.

"Thank you for your time," I said politely, swiping the keys up and into my back pocket. "And sorry for waking you." I headed for the door.

"You're not going anywhere."

* * *

I beg of you, REVIEW!! Please?...please? -puppy dog eyes-


	35. That's a Girl

"Let go of me!" I screeched, in vain.

I was caught up in one large mass of rippling muscle. I squirmed and tried to escape his thick grasp, but nothing was working. He had at least a foot and a half on me, and he was holding me with my hands behind my back, and had me bending forwards. I was looking down at the grimy green carpet that covered the trailer's floor, and I tried not to scream. Really, Shiiro had been right.

But I wasn't going down just yet.

"Thought you could get away with my keys, girl??" He was no longer the tired, exhausted mess I'd seen him as earlier. Suddenly, he dropped me to the floor, grabbed my hands behind my back again, and pushed down on my head with his foot. I coughed in the cloud of dust that arose when I hit the floor. My eyes were starting to water, probably for more than one reason. I had some fleeting hope that he wouldn't know who I was. Maybe, just maybe…since Shiiro wasn't with me he wouldn't notice.

"I don't have them!" I protested, praying they'd stay nestled in my front pocket.

"I heard the jingling. Don't lie!" He screamed.

"My…car…keys." I choked out, as part of the carpet got into my mouth.

He loosened his grip for just a moment, before I assumed he looked over his shoulder. "Then tell me. Where. Are. They?"

I really hoped that he was tired enough to believe me. "I-I gave them back to you, remember? You got up and put them back where you got them from." Pleasepleasepleaseplease work…

He grunted, but his grip remained loose. And I began to wonder if…

The door was less then a foot in front of me. If I could just get free and get outside…I knew if I tried to struggle free he'd just tighten his grip again. So I suddenly, with all of my strength, pulled my hands apart and free. And it worked! I hadn't been sure if it would. I scrambled upwards, and pulled open the door, all in a swift moment before he could realize what was happening. I knew that this moment would be brief, and if he'd woken up entirely, it wouldn't even have been a second. I tripped down the metal stairs that led up to the door, and almost fell over to my knees at the bottom. I kept my balance though, and started to run.

The things you can do when your life possibly hangs in the balance are quite amazing, actually. He was easily catching up though, and I knew that running wasn't going to be good enough, here. But did I really want to risk him seeing my wings? There was always the chance that he had no clue who I was yet, and if that was so, I didn't want to ruin it now. If he did know, however, would it even matter either way? I ran around the line of cages, keeping distance from Shiiro. If I made it out of here, I'd just have to come back for him, later. But something told me, a very bad thing told me, that even if I did escape, I would not be permitted back so easily. Even sneaking in, may present a problem.

It was raining, now. Pouring rain. How had I not noticed that it was raining? Because I was scared. I was running. I was running, and my surroundings were not important.

Then, a horrid thing, a horrid thing that made me remember my past in full detail, happened. He jumped on me, knocking me clean off of my feet, and I crashed to the ground, scraping my cheek against a tree. There was a burning pain, and I winced. He pushed my face into the ground, and I struggled to catch my breath. Keep in mind Niji Kokuro was not a skinny man. I wondered if he was armed.

"Get off!" I gasped, trying to find air.

"Where are the damn keys, woman?" He persisted, forcing all of his weight onto me.

"I can't breathe!" I choked out, forgetting for a moment that I was soaked to the bone, clothes clinging to my skin, and hair plastered to my face. "I don't have them!"

"Don't lie to me!" He growled, loosening a little bit, providing me with little, but appreciated air.

"I'm not lying!" I screamed.

Then I remembered my weapon. I'd brought it with me. Sure, unless this guy was a vampire, it wouldn't do me much good…but with luck I'd never have to shoot. With luck, it would just be enough to frighten him. To convince him to leave me alone…with luck. Which was not something that was often on my side. My hands were free, free enough to slide my hand down to my pants, and pull the gun from my pocket. It was not a fast process, it was in fact done over maybe five, long minutes. While, of course, Niji was causing immense pressure that quite literally made my eyes want to pop from their sockets. When my hand made contact with my gun, I could not describe to you what I felt. Relief. Immense relief. I began to pull it out and I brought it to his cheek. My arm was twisted in a strange way, to have the gun pointed to him, as he was behind me. He let out a surprised grunt, before backing off of me, allowing me to stand my ground and face him. I had my gun pointed at him, even standing up, although my hands were shaking.

"Leave me alone." I growled, legs trembling.

He began to back off, holding his hands up. Because he was a coward. He was big, and strong, and burly, but he was afraid still. Afraid of death. "Alright, alright…" He was glaring at me though, clearly upset.

"You will allow me to release someone here. You will not speak of this to anyone. Once you have allowed me to release my friend, I will return your keys, and I won't shoot you." I didn't know where this courage was coming from. I didn't know, but it was there.

His eyes narrowed. "Why should I let you do that?"

"Because if you don't, I'll shoot."

He sighed, defeated.

I was quite smug, enjoying having him under my control. He led me back to the camp ground, walking in front of me as I held the gun to the back of his head. I knew that if he did actually, stupidly try to run for help, I wouldn't know what to do. I couldn't shoot him, for it would have little effect. And then he would know that I had him under a fake threat. One that I couldn't carry out. And without that security of the threat, I was nothing. He pointed down the line of cages, and grunted for me to show him who it was that I wanted released. I had ideas that he would not be pleased it was his star attraction.

When Shiiro saw me with Niji Kokuro, he looked horrified, before he realized that I had Niji under my control.

"That's a girl, Aiki." He smiled, as I unlocked the strange lock on his cage. I knew that Niji was pissed, but I didn't care. Because no feeling in the world could compare to feeling Shiiro hugging me again. And that feeling was mine because I wasn't a coward.

_Not a coward._

_Now, Aiki, isn't that a good feeling?_

Aside from the fact that we were both standing in the pouring rain, in one of the most melancholy places on earth.

_I'm not a coward._

** The End**

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Epilogue coming soon, as well as probably a sequel in a while.


	36. I Know

I opened Nightshade's apartment door, still unlocked, Shiiro trailing behind me, shirtless. I introduced him to the dirty little place, and briefly explained about Nightshade's fate. Shiiro had been too young to remember him in detail, but was a little sad, nonetheless. We'd talked and caught up on the way back, and he informed me that his first order of business would be to take a nice, hot shower. Cold showers weren't pleasant, especially with "recycled" water. No, you probably don't want to know the definition of "recycled."

"Aikido!" A familiar voice cried out, and before I knew it I was enfolded within two, strong arms. My brain was exhausted, from lack of proper rest, and my brain took a minute to process exactly who was holding me.

"Zero…?" I inquired, surprised. "What are you doing here…?"

Suddenly he let go. "Who's that?" He asked, almost hurt.

"Before you get jealous, tough guy, this happens to be my brother…Haruke Shiiro."

Zero looked a little embarrassed, and only graced that statement with an "Oh."

"Now what are you doing here?" I asked, trying not to sound like I didn't want him here.

"You went missing…I wasn't just going to let you leave me." He embraced me again, shoving his nose into the top of my head, and tangling his fingers into my already tangled hair. "I'm sorry, Aikido…I'm so sorry…" were his next words.

"Huh?" I asked, neck being forced down, just so I was staring into his collar-bone area.

"I…"

"Wait." I ordered, pushing myself away. I tossed Shiiro a meaningful look, and Shiiro held his hands up innocently and strolled into the bathroom. When I heard the shower, and I was positive Shiiro could no longer here us, I sat on the couch. I patted the space next to me, and Zero took the space without hesitation.

"You were saying?" I asked softly, looking into his handsome purple eyes. He returned my look, except with a twinge of guilt.

"I realized…how I'd…acted to you. After she left, I mean…and then I realized…that…you were so much better than she was." his voice was barely a whisper now. He pulled me into his lap, and nuzzled his head into my neck. "I'm sorry…"

I knew that I shouldn't believe that.

I knew I should forget about him, after all he'd done.

But…I didn't care about what I should do at the moment.

Because I loved him.

So I said…

"I know." And I kissed him.

* * *

Sooo…who wants a sequel, and who thinks that I should end it here, and not drag it out? Majority rules, so review and vote. Don't count on others to do it for you, please.

Another question, if you do vote for a sequel.

Far future, or only a few months in the future? I have ideas for both, so again…majority rules. Help is appreciated. I'd like to continue the story, but I don't want it to get too "out there" either…which I've been on the fringe of since the beginning.


	37. Announcement & Preview

**Wahh, I know I'm not supposed to have announcements as a separate chapter and stuff...but how else am I supposed to get your attention? PMs just get flat out annoying, which is somethin I dont aim to do. Hey, its not like I've ever done it before, so give me a break.**

**Alrighty.**

**Since pretty much everyone who faithfully reviews wanted a sequel, **

**There will be a sequel.**

**Keep track of my account if you're one of my hard-core fans (lol…yeah, something like that…) because I will be writing the sequel soon. I swear. Losing readers would just be plain out heartbreaking, so please keep in touch. If you'd like me to PM you even, when I get it up and running, go ahead and ask, I will do it if its easier for you that way.**

**Chapter 1 of the sequel (no name just yet) is in progress!! Only a few days awaaay. :3**

**So please keep track, 'cause I'd love to keep everyone on board. (Call me an attention slut, I don't care.)**

**Love you all!! (never thought the story would even get this popular…)**

**:3**

**~Aikido Kiryuu~**

**What, you didn't think I'd leave you with no preview, did you??**

* * *

"Shiiro, Zero?" I asked to find them in the beat up living room of Nightshade's apartment. Shiiro had been living in Nightshade's apartment for a while now, and he'd been getting along just fine, happy to have freedom. I'd warned him to be careful, especially since I couldn't guarantee the Niji Brothers weren't looking for him again. I had to expect them to be, at least. On days off, Zero and I would go and visit my brother, just checking up on his well-being. Usually I went out and did his grocery shopping for him, at the risk of someone unwanted seeing him. Zero had been getting along exceptionally well with my brother, and Shiiro had taken me aside a few weeks ago, and told me he was looking forward to having Zero as a brother-in-law. I'd rolled my eyes, sickened he'd even consider his sister getting married. Not saying I didn't plan on getting married...Shiiro just wasn't the person I needed advice from in that department. Or hinting nudges.

"What?" They both asked in unison, and looked up at me.

"Oh, nothing." I murmured, waving my hand dismissively.

"Nothing my sorry-" Zero began, but I cut him off.

"Nothing." I insisted, convincing him to drop the subject.

Of course, it was never nothing, was it?


End file.
